Thursday, December 12

Back to me... after these words

Before I get back on to the topic of my new bibs, I figure I'll give some closure to those of you who live under a rock and rely on this blog for all their bicycling type news.  The Specialized Goliath VS Small Bike Shop David is over just about as fast as it started.  Mike Sinyard (CEO) flew to Cafe Roubaix (presumably in his private crabon fiber jet with BRAIN Technology) and personally apologized to shop owner (and let's not forget, war veteran), Dan Richter.  They even got it all on video.  I have no idea how to embed the video here since it was posted on Facebook, but it ended with a double-fisted handshake that transformed into a hug.

I'll admit, most of my indignation here and elsewhere was pretend.  Let's face it.  This was hardly the greatest injustice in the world that's happened in 2013, but when the 300 pound gorilla in the industry picks on the little guy...

Hell hath no fury like a bunch of bored cyclists at work with access to Facebook and Twitter.  And even when they get what they want (an apology and an explanation) they still want Mike's head on a pike.

That's how Nelson Mandela would have wanted it.

So those bibs.

Trial run stuffing the pockets at home before their debut in the mountains of NC.

In the pockets, from left to right:

Tülbag (the OG 4X4" version, not the V.2 4X5")

Gu Brew, iodine, and numerous Gu gels

Fönbag (with antique iPhone 4)

Everything a man needs for a day in the mountains (assuming no one gets injured, lost, or suffers from agoraphobia)

Of course, the phone shoulda went in the middle pocket, and in the end it did.  I was in a hurry... whatever.  The Pie does not want to spend her entire evening doing a photo shoot, especially when it involves this type of behavior.

There is a barn door in the place one might expect on a pair of tightie whities.  In my time of wearing such underwear (childhood through my freshman year of college), I was always an over the waistband kinda guy.  I remember a (one way) discussion here about whether or not others went full package out or just the business when Number One'ing it.  Can't find it now.  Let's move on.

photo cred: Gwen
I can finally go on a for realzors mountain bike ride wearing my full-on Club Pride kit sans backsack.  It's a great feeling, although I'm still in the market for my flannel riding shirt.

Access to my Fönbag was relatively painless, which is a great thing since I need to be in a hurry to pull out my phone to grab some superb action photos.

"I don't always stand at attention while Kurt wrings out his wet socks, but when I do, I'm awesome." ~ The most interesting Colin in the world

The bibs were pure performers.  The textured fabric on both the Tülbag and Fönbag kept my more valuable cargo safe inside the confines of the pockets. Of the two times I utilized the barn door, I had one success and one failure.  As the day wore on, I grew tired.  My inability to navigate the confusing labyrinth in my pants resulted in a severely moistened chamois.

That sucked, but chalk it up to user error.

It was a great ride with plenty of time for pontification.

We determined that Shimano SPD pedals were originally bottle openers that engineers figured out how to attach a rider's feet to, thus one more reason Shimano is a superior product.

Bill Nye shared tales of Alaska mountaineering, frostbite, and the potential for wiener damage due to reduced blood flow to unused extremities.  I told him I would just think of boobs to increase circulation to my member at risk, which prompted a response from Kurt that resulted in this:

I like the bibs.  I'd think of some hokey reason to give them my Seal of Semi-Approval...

but I'm outta time.

Tonight is the Queen City Bicycles Christmas Party.   I've got my canned goods for Loaves and Fishes in my bag an my lights on my bike.  I'm prepared for a late'esque evening, which means the chances that I will blog tomorrow are 50/50.

Sorry.  I'd rather make great bike party when given the option.


Sam said...

Always entertaining!

John Parker said...

"Hell hath no fury like a bunch of bored cyclists at work with access to Facebook and Twitter"


I don't get the barn door thing? seems like it's a solve for a non issue? Whats so hard about tugging up your shorts or doing the hunch and grab? it's not like you can pee on a mtb bike like some euro rodie anyway....

Anonymous said...

Stand in the creek, commence to leak!

No barn door needed!

Anonymous said...

Who did the video taping? If it was from Sinyard's camp then the entire thing was just a bunch of ungenuine bullshit.

Either way, fuck Specialized! Sinyard would have been more than happy had he put Dan out of business. The ONLY reason he made that trip was for damage control. I understand that there are good/innocent people doing business with Specialized. Hell the shop/team I race for is a Specialized dealer but you know what? I say fuck Specialized anyways.