Don't get too excited

I almost decided to sleep in this morning. This week's "training" has gone as follows:

Monday: 1.5 hours of tooling around on the to Berserker fixie monster cross before I got busy at work

Tuesday: Repeat Monday

Wednesday: Try to repeat Tuesday, but feel a little off. End up with 1.33 hours of tooling.

Thursday: Figure out that I'm sick, grab the Fastest Bike in the World and take the shortest route to work.

Friday: Repeat Thursday

The weirdest thing about my illness is that my temperature has been below normal, like 3° below normal. Last night after sleeping with a hat on under an electric blanket I got myself up to 97.2° this morning. Scratchy throat, itchy eyes, throbbing sinuses... life has been good.

This is not how I planned things out, but whatever. I've pushed myself through sickness before enough to realize that all I ended up doing was prolonging the sickness. This weekend's ride will probably be moistesque (there has to be a ride), so getting better is a top priority.

With that said, I'm going back to bed. See you Monday.

Well if I can't beat Harlan...

Kind of old news to some, but Granny Gear has canceled the 24 Hours of Big Bear in West By God Virginia. Jason got the scoop, facebooked it, and now I sit stupefied. Anybody who did not have their head up their ass knows this was to be the 24 Hour Nationals for 2010, so according to the story it's going back to Moab... yawn. I woulda thought that the numbers for this year's race woulda been high enough to get their numbers up with it being Nationals and all, but I guess our new economy doesn't support $330 solo entry fees. Then again with races like the Burn 24 Hour Challenge offering the same experience at less than a third the price how could people still justify paying such an exorbitant entry fee? I never understood their pricing structure, and even though I know the Laird family and staff made a living doing this they had to see the writing on the wall. For their sake I hope they figure out a way to make it work in 2011.

Why do I care? In the back of my head I had considered racing for the SS National Jersey, being that the race was all east coastie and I'd have a Trans Sylvania Epic's worth of mileage in my legs. I guess now I have one less thing to think about... which will allow me to focus on this year's big goal:

Beat Mike Cushionbury

Photo ripped from Mike's facebook page

This is the pro looking version of Mike. No doubt some of Hollywood's best make up artists and lighting experts worked hard for countless hours to get him to look this good... not to mention the digital enhancements to remove the safety wires that lifted him off the ground to make him look all core and shit. If I had any inclination to believe that this is the real Mike I might be scared, but I know better.

Here's another photo of Mike from facebook:

This is not the whole photo. Mike cropped down the original image from it's true and very embarrassing form.

In the unedited version it is clear that Timmy and I were trying to console Mike. We found him crying in the starting gate before the start of the first stage of the BC Bike Race in 2007. He was worried that he wouldn't be able to finish the first day, and he had left his teddy bear back in Emmaus, PA so he wasn't sure if he'd be able to sleep without Mr Bojangles around to keep the monsters away. I let Mike snuggle with my Camelbak (we called him Mr Sweaty Bear) at night, and he ended up finishing the race in fine form crossing the line on day seven with his fist in the air screaming "That was for you Mr Bojangles!!".

I'm pretty sure that even with Mr Bojangles to sleep with at night I'll be able to beat this guy:

Obviously there is no need for me to come up with a smart ass caption for this photo since it speaks volumes about Mike. PBR is so passe'. Next time head for the mountains Mike. It's the new thing straight outta hipsterville... I got my eyes and ear on the skreets.

And in closing, how can I let this guy beat me?

I mean seriously... how?

Cush VS Dicky

Putting the "Epic" in the Trans-Sylvania Epic*

*Well at least I'll put the "Epic" in the Trans-Sylvania Epic while Mike works on the "trans" part.

Yes, he's just a sweet transvestite from the Trans Sylvania unh huh.

My plan is to beat Harlan Price (or not)

It is now the time on Sprockets when we make our bikes ready to make great bike race. That Feedback Sports Alping digital hanging scale (with 55lb capacity) is gonna be the death of me. My old worn out treads had to go to make way for something with some edges on it. I had a new Crossmark to replace the Ignitor in the rear and four 2.35 Rampages to choose from for the front. With the aid of my scale I decided to make my front selection based on weight... disturbing.

Two of the Rampages weighed the same:

A nice plump 750 grams for a front tire with plenty of sexy time knobs and volume.

The other two also weighed the same, but different:

Same tire, 40 grams heavier. That's almost a tenth of a pound of rotating weight, massive rubber knobbed rotating weight. Meh. I guess I now have one back up race tire and two tires destined for the Death Stick. I know this happens all the time, but having the tools to discover it in my own bike room? I will just have to think less about how much money I have in "heavy" tires and think more about how much faster I am with the reduction in rotating weight.

After all the tire swapping (and even more grip douchery) the Meatplow has come down in weight. It was originally...

but now it's getting a little more thin air climbing friendly...

That's over a quarter of a pound dropped with proper tire selection. Now I am well within striking range of having a sub twenty pound "race bike". Assuming my crabon frok gets here sometime this month I'll be showing up the Six Hours of Warrior Creek gun fight with MG42 full auto belt fed machine gun.

And if it doesn't get here? Well let's just say that I will shed a tear and hope for a brighter tomorrow. I feel it will probably most certainly be here before I get to my more climbing heavy races like the Trans Sylvania and the Breck Epic, so I'm just not gonna get too emotional if another month goes by sans crabon.

In other news...

Harlan Price, a man larger than the mountains he rides upon, announced his intentions to make a mockery of the single speed class on Cyclingdirt.com.

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

How 'bout that? Another tired pro with swollen vertebrae looking to beat up on us unsuspecting single speeders. Maybe Gunnar has a spare cane for you Harlan. Anyways he will be racing the Trans Sylvania Epic and also four of the NUE Races on a SS, no doubt giving The Pflug a run for his money and pushing the little people one step further away from the podium. Harlan says he will focus more on socializing and fun, so perhaps this is the year we will see him doing kegstands the night before the Shenandoah 100. I do like his idea of winning the single speed Stars and Stripes jersey at Marathon Nationals in July and then burning it on the podium. This would be even better than my non-appearance at the 2006 24 hour Worlds podium ceremony, and a much more fascinating spectacle for Cyclingnews.com. Burn it Harlan, burn it like a... you know, it's pretty hard to think of a politically correct burning reference. Just burn it Harlan.

BTW: Harlan is racing for a good cause, so check it out: Team CF.

Tifosi Man Chu

At least the slow down at work hasn't been all bad.

It's a little easier to sit around for hours waiting for a run when the weather is sooooo nice. Sure, I still get bored, but at least I'm bored outside in the sun VS sitting in that building in the background looking outside at the rain.

I got a special delivery from the Fast'ish Marsupial yesterday. He owed me some $$$$'s for the PMBAR entry, but I got a pleasant, yet demeaning, and still somewhat mysterious surprise in the envelope.

I'm not sure how Thad knew that I needed another El Día de los Muertos skull for the chainstay of the new Meatplow (the MOOTS has one), but perhaps he is just psychic. The Salsa stickers throw me off a little since I have no Salsa products save for a Short and Shallow bar on my road bike which I only bought since I felt like it defined my persona pretty well. I thought the WALZCAPS sticker could be useful since I'm a fan, but it is merely a useless hang tag, so I think Thad wanted to make me throw out his garbage for him one small piece at a time. The four sixes?? I always thought Thad wasn't playing with a full deck, but now I am most certain. Could be some kind of weird blog stalker thing... who knows? And the annotated MOOTS propaganda???

Just Thad's little way of reminding me that his bike is better than mine. I know that Thad. That's why I'm dragging you deep into the woods this May to leave you for the bears and take your bike. Lord knows I've been wanting to get back on to 26" wheels ever since the last time I hit my head really hard on an overhanging branch and lost the ability to think clearly. Not to mention I really want your sponsor...

Bike26.com
ride inferior wheels

One more thing...

When I was at NAHBS nursing a slight hangover in the hotel room Mattycakes tossed me a small black case. As excited as I was at the prospect of some new shades I sighed as I opened it and found yet another pair of improperly colored Tifosi Dolomites. I guess Megan didn't distribute the memo to let everybody know that I really need a pair of pearl white Dolomites to pull off the sharp look I have planned for 2010. Mattycakes, being the gentleman that he is, promptly handled the tense situation in the room, and he let me know that Tifosi may not know how to distribute memos regarding elite athlete's needs, but Tifosi does in fact love moustaches*.

I don't think I can ever get rid of the moustache* now that I have a pair of Tifosi Helo's in Limited Edition gold. I've got a real 70's cop show look going on here, and now all I need is some acting skills and perhaps I could land a role on the next unsuccessful prime time cop drama. These glasses make absolutely no sense in a practical manner on the bike, but I have a lot of Tifosi's on my shelf to handle that... although none of them are white.

* I'm no longer going to use the word "mustache" when referring to my lip broom as I think that "moustache" is a much better way to spell it. My spellcheck hates it, but according to google it is just as acceptable as "mustache", and I think the "o" makes it a little more distinguished. I'm all about being a little more distinguished.

Are you ready? Me neither.

After a week of shit like this...

it was nice to get out for some of this....

BMCC's humorous chainsaw wielding trail crew letting you know that you should have a nice day while riding Warrior Creek.

Last week was officially the time to start riding slightly more in the mornings than I have been since October (maybe even September). Monday and Tuesday I spent some extra time out on the Fastest Bike in the World, but on Wednesday when I left the house it was something like 27°. While I do have clothing to get me well below that temperature I didn't want to wear it since it would fill my bag up rather substantially as the day got warmer making it increasingly difficult to do my job... well that, and I'm just getting sick of riding around in sub freezing temps.

I got up on Wednesday and went back to the site of Run Club Part Duh, the naked guy hang out... The Y. This time I left my running shoes back at the house and hopped on a Spin Bike to get my suffering on. Even though the saddle had a slight tilt downward reducing my comfort factor I hopped on the "bike" closest to the fan to reduce the stink factor since I'd be wearing the same clothes all day. I had so much "fun" that I returned on the following 29° Thursday morning and on the next 28° Friday morning. At least on Thursday I figured out that my Jethro Tool fit the clunky seat adjustment bolt, so I was able to make the bike slightly more rideable 55Nine style (who's riding it like this anyways??).

After a week of no fun riding it was nice to get out in the woods again for the second time in the last eight or nine weeks. I headed up to the Kerr Scott trail system with Bill Nye TSG to ride what I feel is one of the funnest non-Pisgah trails in the Southeast, Warrior Creek. I'm sure some folks would think I was going up there to check out the course, but honestly I've been wanting to get up there all winter long. It's been either soaking wet or under snow since last December, at least on the weekends when I can ride, so it was nice to nab it while I had the chance.

I did see this disturbing image while I was waiting for Bill Nye to grind up the worst of the climbs out there:

It looks like this tree could use a little of That Butt Stuff.

I can't wait for the race. I'm not sure that a month will be enough time to get ready for it... I mean really ready, but whatever. I wasn't about to start riding any earlier in the year, and it's only six hours. The really hard racing doesn't start until May. Speaking of PMBAR Eric "PMBAR Honcho Wever recently announced that the race was full and less than a day later he got permission from the US Forest Service to open the race up from 75 teams to an unprecedented 100 teams. Keeping my what seems to be perennial position of second place just got a little harder in 2010. Sign up now or regret it forever.

Race news and dont's

What's new?

Well the other day I saw somebody reading this book in Starbucks:

Personally I thought it was a bit redundant, I didn't know Twitter was for anyone else. All kidding aside I do see some traffic from twits, tweets, and twoots occasionally, and just the other day one came from here:

http://twitter.com/Transsylvania

And it went a little something like this:

Team Dicky is coming!!! Now its a race!

about 10 hours ago via TweetDeck

Yes, I put my money where my mouth is, and I entered another stage race for 2010 (I already ponied up for the Breck Epic). The official word from headquarters is that the Trans Sylvania is officially a race now that I am on board. Things were looking a bit sketchy beforehand, but it's certainly going to be a media spectacle now that I'm amongst the ranks of the registered. Of course I'll have some stiff competition since Harlan Price is now racing a single speed. Word on the street is that Harlan is either trying to justify some really cool facial hair or he's decided it would be fun to beat up on a bunch of has been, overweight, outta shape, hungover single speeders. I even heard he's getting a single speed oriented tattoo (like a chainring or something else clever) and having Gary Fisher mold a carbon fiber bottle opener to his new Superfly SS frame. Welcome to the dark side Harlan. Have fun talking to The Pflug about whatever it is you elite riders talk about at the front of the field while doing each others nails. I could care less what Harlan does to the SS field at the TS Epic since my only goal is to beat that slacker cum journalist Cush. I know I'm not setting my sights very high, but whatever... the pasty PA wannabe will go down.

Although I am most certainly looking forward to the SOLD OUT 6 Hours of Warrior Creek I was bummed to see yet another conflict rear its ugly head on my calender. Not only has the Pisgah 36 been rescheduled to the same weekend, but now a race that I told myself last year I must do has been scheduled for the day after the 6WC. Yet another fine Chris Scott production, The Dragon's Tale, will be going down on Sunday, April 4th. This new piece of information has set my mind into motion. The 6WC is just a couple hours south of the DT, which means if I get in the car after I take the top step on the single speed podium again (I may be overplanning there) I can make haste to the free campsite and wake up smelling like ass to race another 40 miles in God's country. I race a hundred miles in a day, so what's 110 miles over two days gonna matter? I'm not sure if I'll follow through on this one, but I am certainly not missing my chance at some of this in April:

photo cred Cathie Docherty

Warrior Creek: Wilkesboro's own amusement park ride

The Return of the Return of the Phantom Stranger

There's no doubt in my mind. It's back... the Phantom Stranger just can't stay away. At least I'm catching it early, but then again what difference does it make. I'm already doing everything I can, and it still came anyways.

Even though I've been wearing shoes as opposed to sandals all winter my left pinkie toe has still decided to turn on me.

It's puffy and red and somewhat contorted looking... sorta resembling a simple balloon animal. I can remember the day it crept in through an unlocked back door (the Mustache ride), and I long for the day that it takes its leave.

In a totally unrelated bit of news a concerned citizen felt like it would be a good thing for me to have a Feedback Sports Alping digital hanging scale (with 55lb capacity). As if I needed to have one more thing to play with I believe the perpetrator's purpose was to confound me with yet one more way to fall into the anal abyss that is bike geekdom. It was out of the box and weighing bikes in a matter of minutes. Of course I weighed the new Meatplow first, but I'm saving that for last.

The Fastest Bike in the World

That's none to shabby considering the threaded fork/headset, SPD pedals, wire bead tires, hoopty handlebar, and cheap front wheel. I imagine it gained some weight recently when the SLR saddle broke and I had to replace it with a death bin Flite (not shown). BTW: Why was I keeping a broken railed Flite, a missing railed coverless Flite, and a torn leather cover in the death bin?

Who knows...

How 'bout my clapped out DeBernardi Road bike that I would love to replace with something fancier to hang on my wall?

Twenty pounds even? Not as bad as I thought, but considering I replaced the heavy Shimano 600 8 speed STI shifters with downtube jobbies (that work even though they're 7 speed) and some Cane Creek levers and the fact that the wheels are ultralight climbing wheels that's probably where it should be. Long live single pivot calipers!!! Anyways, that's kinda sad when I compare it to this:


The old titanium Thylacine, built up with a heavy Phil Wood fixed hub, shitty Bontrager front wheel, Misfit bar/stem combo, and some $9 wire bead cross tires. Sad day indeed when it crushes the road bike in the weight department. No wonder I grab this bike as a last resort before I grab the road bike as an even lastier resort.

The Death Stick

Wow. That would be a heavy bike, at least for a single speed hardtail... for me. All that weight comes from the addition of the 5"+ travel fork and two beefy tires (1,400+ grams for the front). I guess it doesn't matter how heavy it is since I built this bike to play in the mountains of NC, and they're gonna be covered with a glacier till 2012 when the world ends.

And the one you've all been waiting for.... The Meatplow:

Hmmm... not quite Fuzzy's 17lb carbon scooter is it? Well when (if??) I get my crabon frok that should drop @ 1.25lbs, so I might just flirt with a sub twenty pound build. That's hot. The scale did verify that my bike would be 30 grams lighter with a 31.6 Thomson post as opposed to the MOOTSpost/drilled out Cane Creek shim as shown, but it would be 15 grams heavier if the shim wasn't drilled out. This scale is going to drive me crazy.