Overshooting the target by aiming low

I mentioned that I was already packed for the Trans-Sylvania Epic.

On the right is all my gear, clothes, and body armor to protect me from Dejay's latest shopping spree.*

On the left, my food.  I decided to go the dirt bag route once again and shun the offered meal plan.  I ponied up for it last year, and it was fantastic.  Being that I have little to no aspirations of glory this year and zero patience to wait until breakfast/dinner is served, I'm gonna take care of myself with the Dicky Meal Plan.

Breakfast

Squeezing it out...

This is going to be all random and what not...

Thanks to Eric "PMBAR Honcho" Wever for putting us through hell, crushing people's souls, and putting on a race that is everything I want in an event.

photo cred: Brado Allen

Also a huge thanks to his wonderful wife and partner in soul crushing, his right and left hands, Erinna.

photo cred: Eric Wever

And all the volunteers out on the course that kept me moving fluidly throughout the entire day.

photo cred: Eric Wever

Jeff Baucom, handy with the lube and prepared to do on the spot prostate exams.

What else?

So, I was pushing my bike up Black Mountain for the last time... thinking about the after party, the Fiftyfivepointfive, how much work my bike would need before the next morning came, all the shit hanging over my head to get ready for the Trans-Sylvania Epic, the fact that I have good legs right now and maybe enough time to recover over the next six days before heading off to a seven day race, my family and the limited amount of time I'll have with them over the next two weeks.

I decided to pull the plug after the podium and go home.

photo cred: Jeff Baucom

2013 Pisgah Eleventy-one

I got off work at 5:00PM on the nose with a last minute delivery to the US Attorney's office, headed to the Fit of Rage which was stationed down behind the Panthers' Stadium, loaded up, and headed out.  As soon as I got to Brevard, I registered, set up my hammock, met up with Watts, and headed into town for the now prerequisite 32oz novelty beer in a Mexican restaurant, followed by more beer in an undisclosed place... left undisclosed as something of a nondisclosure type thing was occurring that I can't disclose.  I didn't see anything.  I might have said too much already.

Back at the hammock, I settled in and texted The Pie a good night by 11:00PM.  I don't ever remember camping in a more quiet place.

That was until about 1:00AM.

I woke up to a lot of noise. It sounded like a creek, but I remembered that it was dead quiet when I went to bed.  Unless someone rerouted a major river in the past two hours, it was raining really hard.

I woke up off and on the rest of the night.  The rain was always there.  When my alarm (the Final Countdown played by a chorus of kazoos) went off at 6:00AM, I couldn't even hear it over the din of the rain on my tarp.  Shit.  I woke up at 6:05AM, pulled out my phone, waited for one bar of signal strength to pull up the radar, and contemplated my fate.

When the radar map finally loaded, it did not look promising.

My car was parked a half mile from camp.  I had ridden in with just a messenger bag and my Twin Six merino hoodie.  Just getting to back my car was going to suck.  I heavily considered quitting the race before it even started.  I got up anyways, rode to my car, and sat in the front seat eating chocolate Pop Tarts and thinking some sad thoughts.  Yet another race in the rain.

I got dressed and went over to hang at the start.

Second guessed my clothing.

  photo cred: Brado Allen

Added a Metal vest over the sleeveless jersey.

Third guessed my clothing as the rain started up again, this time heavy and dark.  Headed back to my car at the last moment for my arm warmers.  Rolled up to the line minutes before the start.

photo cred: Brado Allen

Are you a gambling man, Mr Bond?

This morning is tainted with a certain amount of fuzzy head.  A last minute stop at Total Wine on the way home will do that I guess. 

Most money spent on a single beer.

But that's just that and no reason to be all slack here.

I love when the internet feeds me.  Blog fodder comes cheap.  Remember when I had to come up with The Horny Single Speeder's Guide to Single Speed Podium Etiquette as a reaction to the unfortunate Alison Tetrick's Basic Top 13 Podium Rules?

It had to happen.  Eventually someone would decide to share mine own with the original Emily Post of the Podium.

Some may think I'd take some offense to be considered one who "appears as an elf," but quite honestly waking up at 124.8lbs this morning, I realize that I am within reach of that magical weight that I'll need to be in order to finally submit my resume to the folks at Keebler.

As to being "the god of over 40 single speed bloggers?

What can I say?  In the land of blind pigs, the one eyed pig is king.  As of right now, I can only see outta one blurry eye, so I guess I am indeed the royal pig.

One rib, to go

I've had at least three memorable rib injuries in the past. 

I was running in a church one night as a kid.  I tripped and fell sternum first into the corner of a pew.  Being a rural boy and not really knowing that I might have injured my xiphoid process, I mighta told my parents.  I don't think I did.  I have an unusual lump on my sternum now.

I was racing the local short track series here in Charlotte.  Two races in, I had a second and a first place in the SS category.  After the second race, I managed to snap a rib while cleaning my bike.   Seriously.  Long story short, I ended up struggling to breathe in the last three races and barely escaped with third overall.

2007 Icycle.  I either broke a rib after riding the downhill course in my pajamas after drinking many beers and a bottle of Mad Dog, or Nick the Stick broke it for me by putting his knee into my chest in an attempt to stop me from trying to instigate him into a wrestling match.

Ermagherd, sner flerk!

As you may remember, my plans for a family-free weekend only went so far.

1: Get off work

2. Head to The Spoke Easy

3. Drink beer

In the words of Dusty Bottoms, "Sometimes you can over plan these things."

So as soon as I punched the clock, I grabbed the festive mug from work that I borrow for such after-hours keg related activities and headed to the shop... well that is after I went approximately 14 blocks out of my way to meet Nick "Dip and Spray" Barlow to pick up some promotional materials (stickers) for his and Zac's new delivery service.  Once loaded and southbound, my unusual lateness (I'm unusually there @5:12) was noted and all my glory stolen.  The Gentle Ginger had already beaten me to the soiree with a festive, but smaller, mug of his own.

I would like to say things got better, but that would depend greatly on your definition of "better."

Not the feel good you're looking for (now with musical accompaniment)

As terrible as yesterday's post was, it was still something of a cathartic release.  I've had a long, drawn-out, unnecessarily emotional week.  Ups, downs, and all arounds.  Why this week?  Why not?

Yes, I just admitted to having something similar to "feels."  I'm only (half) human after all.


Sorry, sometimes my desire to reference popular 80's culture can not be squelched.  If you only had some idea how long it took me to find that video... I coulda photoshopped many heads onto many bodies in the same amount of time.  The things I do for your love...

But after publishing a blog about zip ties and drooper posts, there was a certain palpable release of pressure. Seriously, I saved it.  Feel free to stop by the house and palp it some time. 

On the way to work, an entire Dirt Rag article wrote itself in my head.  I don't know where it came from, but it just formed magically over 50 minutes of urban cruising.

Then I'm at work and I read something that almost had me sitting there in tears.  Something that upset me more than the current state of my injured ribs and my cluttered work bench combined.

Really, I've been staring at this mess for days, and it's starting to affect me on several levels.  I thought that like most of my problems, if I just ignore it long enough, it will sort itself out.