I've done this race before, but somehow I only managed to remember the "it's just thirty something miles" part but not the "oh yeah, but with almost 5,200 feet of climbing" bit. Mostly, my brain was thinking about the hairpin gravel turn right outta the start and my anticipated redemption moment at Heckle Hill, so like mebbe only 200 feet of the entire course. Ever since I rubbed handlebars at the start of the '25 Monster Cross and went ass over tea kettle, I've been scarred both physically, and more importantly, mentally in regards to mass starts and high speeds.
Safely around that first corner, and I let out a "WE MADE IT," assuming everyone else had the same concern I did (they did not).
From there, it 's dick punch after dick punch of steep climbs, muddy trails, and steamy conditions. I never se a single speeder get ahead of me, but I'm all that confident that one didn't sneak by me at the start while I was focused almost solely on one turn.
I have some nice back and forth with a few familiar geared faces through the Gateway Trails and on the way up and over Star Gap, but now I'm focusing my brain on Heckle Rock. I gotta ride it or die trying.
By the way, it's not that bad. I proved that it's still in my whale house five weeks ago, but when there's a crowd... and cameras... and wets...
And after you've seen dozens of crash photos there since 2004?
Then something kinda dawns on me. I'm going to Girona in three weeks, the biggest bike-related non-race vacation I've ever taken. My first jump over the pond. I start thinking about the what-ifs.
A plane ticket, my financial share of the rooms, shuttles, and trains..
I'll feel like a double idiot if I hurt myself any time between now and then and ruin the whole thing because I have an ego that needs massaging. I make the decision to walk it long before I get there.
From there and on the way up to Bernard and also Kitsuma, I find myself locked in mortal combat. Some guy on Transition Spur is giving it all the beans, but it's everything else about him that had me locked in. His giant saddle bag, saggy hydration pack, club-fit kinda Nashbar jersey, short socks...
Is he cosplaying a '90s mountain biker, or is this his sleeper disguise?
Didn't matter. He is strong like bull. I manage to drop him going up to Bernard, and think I'd seen the last of him, but then he is back on my ass going up to Kitsuma. When I stop to fill a bottle before the switchbacks, he's outta sight the rest of the race.
Why does it matter if he beats me?
I think back to my favorite scene from "Hell or High Water" (if you haven't seen the whole movie, don't click the link, stop reading this shit, and go watch it now).
Essentially, I am an enemy forever to everyone. I race the person in front of me and the person behind me, and someday I'll stop this pointless endeavor, but not today.
I stop at the top of Kitsuma to let Sarah come around, because nobody going that fast deserves to be behind the rigid idiot getting his kidneys pounded going down the gnar gnar. After that, I was only able to find one more frand (I mean, "enemy") to yoyo with all the way to the finish.
Me, Bob "Saffell Says" Saffell, and Josh the Wonderboy standing in for a third place that musta had a better place to be.
1st place single speed, and once again comparing myself to fellow quinquagenarians, I coulda (and shoulda woulda) been 1st place 50+. This concerns me in two manners. Single speed isn't ded but it sure seems like it's dying a slow death... and speaking of slow deaths, 50+ used to be a huge class in endurance racing, and numbers seem to be going down there as well. What gives?
Garvel, obvs.
Numerous beers and laughs were had the rest of the day, as those few of us staying in camp had to kill something like ten hours before going to bed.
Volunteering at the Enduro™ on Sunday...
I now understand the role of the starter of an Enduro™ stage. On its face, it just looks like you're keeping a respectable gap between riders to minimize passing on the course from happening, but the larger task is getting people the hell outta there every minute, so you don't end up with a huge line putting people out on the course longer than they need to be. Results can't happen till all the riders are in, so we don't need people taking naps or doing power yoga between stages.
Pull up the timing equipment, rip down the tape, walk down in the rain, because of course it rained.
Fin.

































