Handle Pipes and Knee Tubes

I whined (again) about the lack of decent options for knee tubes (okay, "warmers") on Facebook a couple weeks ago.  

I had a list of requirements for what I'll call "reasons" based on wearing knee tubes since the early '90s.  I'm guessing I've gone through dozens of pairs being a mountain biker, commuter, and bike messenger over the years.  My requirements are simple:

* One seam, top to bottom.  No ergo bullshit.  A plain and simple tapered tube.
* Stays up (even when I'm wearing boxer briefs as I do for commuting/work).
* Black (aside from subtle logos)
* Fleecy insides.

My desperate plea brought up one decent option from DNA Cycling.  When my frand Dahn suggested them, they were only $20 a pair, so I bought two (pairs not singles, dummy).  A day or two later, they were up to $40 a pair.  I'm wondering if someone saw my order and thought, "shit, they're still at summer prices," and flipped the switch to fall/winter pricing.

It shipped with a branded musette bag.  I'm not a professional road cycle sport athlete, but I do have other needs.  I had to reinforce the straps a bit, but it will suffice to be a packable "way homer" grocery picker upper in the future.

Anyhoo, I got them... and now I need to add to my list of knee tube requirements.

* The inside fleecy bit needs to be black.
* The stitching needs to be strong, AND the thread should be black..
* The seam needs to go up the inside of the leg.

Lemme explain.

I kinda already knew this, but when the fleece is white and your knee is bent, the knee tube is varying shades of black.  No knee tube company shows you pictures of the inside of their knee tubes, because apparently you'd have to be a psycho to want to know that. 

I should know better, but when I pulled them on in the same manner that I did my old Endura knee tubes, I could hear a stitch giving out.  Dammit.  Fortunately, I had my sewing kit at work to reinforce where the seam was stressed.  Noted.  Pull them on and off with more care.  I have a few pairs of bibs that require a delicate touch, so I know the drill.  Oh, and when they are on and stretched out, you can see the white thread of the seam on the outside... so mebbe use black thread?

The seam.  I had a hard time orienting the tubes on my meat sticks.  There was a logo, a seam, and a reflective tab on the seam... and after my second try, I realized the seam needed to go right up the back of my leg.  That means a seam in my knee pit.  Knee pits are the fifth most sensitive area of skin on the body.  Up the inside or nothing.  And mebbe I have them hiked up higher than a normal person(?), but the reflective bit, while a nice touch, isn't gonna be as visible as it could be if it were closer to the bottom.

They are warm.  They do stay up.  The logos... are not very subtle but at least they're white so they don't clash with other bits of kit (or HandUp flannels or AT+ shorts or gloves or whatever).  I'm not saying I know how to dress, and if I did, that I would abide by some Garanimal rules for proper attire, but I do notice things.

Oh, and circling back to my new, too-long titanium handle pipe.  I sliced off 10mm per side (really close anyways), and life if good.

Measure twelve times, cut once... in this case twice.  Then measure again for posterity.

One ride and I was totally in the world of Goldilocks.  780mm is how I like my cockpit porridge.  I can now yoink my bars up and confidently to put my front wheel in the place where I want it to be in slow, technical sections.  Weighting the front tire in the turns feels natural again.  My pinkies feel safe going through the tight trees.  

Ask me again why I don't wanna experiment with crank length?

*sticks head in sand*

Mr Gooderbar

I took my first ever day of paid time off with no plan to do anything for the first time in my life this past Friday.  Originally, I'd left it open in case they needed volunteers at the Old Fort Strong Endurance Festival... which I couldn't commit to as a bike cycle sport "athlete" before it sold out (because life).

I ended up kinda needing an actual day off.  I had a shit Thursday which resulted in me leaving late with a very disturbing feeling in my stomach about some unresolved issues I'd left behind.  All I really wanted to do that night was install my new titanium riser bars which showed up at work earlier that day.

On my ride home (in the dark), I had a few too many not so wonderful interactions with inattentive drivers.  I was first headed to the store to pick up some beer, and while ambling my way to the cooler, I walked past the wine section... with an 800mm handlebar strapped to the bottom of my tiny commuter sack.

CLANK.

Ungghh... that was a close one.  Harbinger of things to come?  We shall see.

So even though I was going to be off all day on Friday with nothing to do and 20°+ temps in the morning, I decided I needed one in the "W" column... so I installed the bars that night.

I took the next day slow and easy... and I also looked at my retirement account balances to see if I could make this situation a more permanent thing.  Knock out some chores, have a nice, non-rushed visit with my mominems, wait for warmer temps and head out for the maiden ride.

Huh.

All told, I ended up with over fifty miles of riding with the new bars this weekend.  I knew before I started the first ride that 800mm was probably too much, but you can only make bars shorter and not the other way around (except those weird ones from Ibis).  Hard to believe that I would be aware of an extra 10mm per side from what I'm used to, but here we are.  I noticed it in the same (but opposite) way as when I tried 760mm bars and hated it.   Can't rightly put my finger on it, but wrong is wrong.  780mm is right, and as soon as I get a fresh hacksaw blade, 780mm they soon shall be.

I did a fair job riding away my job-related frustrations on Friday.  Kinda hard to focus on anything but steering a wider-than-I'm-used-to bar through the narrow gaps between trees at the Backyard Trails.  Banging pinkies into immovable objects in 30° weather teaches you lessons real quick like. 

Obvs, I'm still working to get the fit dialed in 100% on this bike.  It feels good, but I want gooder.  

When I get it all to my liking, I'm guessing I'll be able to jump over a mountain.

I'm tired... like, 3CG/EXO/TR tired

I have been busy.  I swear...

Drinking beer outside is an "outdoor activity," so in many ways, I've been very active.  Sitting indoors with "people" is for people who like being around "other people."

BTW: The Pie is wearing my puffy which she has decided is "her puffy."  I'm happy for her, but less so for me.

I do tend to get most of this thing written at work on my down time, and there's been little of that lately.  I actually woke up early today just to keep the blerhg on life support.  This is the time of year where I feel overwhelmingly underpaid and sometimes unappreciated as an employee.  I honestly have nightmares about work, so I end up working eight hours a day, and then fever sweat dream about work another eight.  In the time between my commute home in the dark and when I lie down in bed to enjoy some good perspirative nightmare rest, I make some marginal progress. 

I bitched about not being able to check sealant levels with my Park Tool TB-1 (Turkey Baster 1) with a tire insert installed, so I decided to take a brand new $60 pool noodle and melt a hole in it with a hot drill bit that's the same O.D. as a valve stem I.D. (or close enough).  I'd since reinforced both sides with Gorilla tape but wasted zero seconds taking pictures of the end ressult.

It was during the process that I was reminded that I have "issues."

I had to line up the Vittoria logo with the valve stem before melting the hole.  No one will ever see it, but deep down in my heart, bowels, and loins, I would know if it wasn't lined up correctly.  No need to start having night terrors about asymmetrical logo alignments.  

Did it work?

Mebbe?

I can understand why tire liner manufacturers don't put a hole in their products at the factory.  Installing these sumbitches can already be an arduous labor of love, so adding the complexity of keeping a tiny hole lined up with the valve stem certainly can add .5 beer's worth of frustration.  I jammed a 3mm (I think) Allen key through the whole mess, and it seemed to work out kinda okay (after dropping it on the shop floor at least a couple times).

Is it gonna stay put or end up sliding just a few millimeters, thus making all my efforts meaningless?

Dunno.

How excite am I that I have my first tire with the Maxx Grip tire compound mounted on the rear of my "Pisgah single speed?"

Very.

I know they wear down faster, but I figure I'm not long for this world, so it's time to live my life like there's no tomorrow.  I'm hoping I don't fall too in love with all the added traction, as Maxxis doesn't offer any of their more XC-oriented tires in Maxx Grip (at least as far as I can figure as I sort through their seven billionty SKUs).  This thing is the closest thing to a tractor tire that I've ever run on my bike ever since I had a Panaracer Spike on my AMP B3, which if I remember correctly was marketed as a "race-only" tire because it would tear the trails up?

Mang, the '90s were so cool.

Anyways, I'll do my best to report back in a couple months when I finally get around to checking sealant levels again

Hey, Butter, Butter, Butter, Butter, Butter...

Suh-wing, Butter.

Gawdammit.

Dr Mike on a portion of old/new Butter Gap that warms my heart.

This is an almost review of the Vittoria Air-Liner Light that someone (one someone) asked for a week or two ago.

Sorta.

I'd had zero unfortunate flats with any tire liner I've ever ridden to include CushCore, Tubolight, and the Vittoria one up until a few weeks ago when I experienced a puncture on a sharp, pointy,  fuck-faced rock that woulda healed thyself had I checked my sealant before the race.  That would be zero rear flats since December 2020... until this past October.

Now make that two flats.

That's four pieces of bacon it still wasn't enough to seal the giant gash.  How giant?  I had to use my fingers to keep the bacon in place while I pulled the tool back out (multiple times) because they were never going to work anyways.

I'm so delighted that when they rerouted Butter, it meanders all over the place before finding the old trail for a hot moment at this spot.  

Türd negotiating the canted slabby-do rock armored creek crossing that to me "is" what Butter is and should be.

Anyhoo, before we got that far, I'd slammed into a HOOGE pointy rock in a most awful manner, the kind where the rim makes the "you fucked up" noise.  Just how pointy?

Finger pointy.

I was just gonna roll back to the car down Searcy Creek Road on my flat tire, but Türd offered to manhandle the tire off and lash the insert to his pack.  Yeth, I coulda done it myself, but I was not only physically deflated but morally as well.

Good Bryan doing good things on good new/old Butter.

I hate riding on a hard tail with a tube in the back, but it was better than a sad garvel ride back to the car, albeit slower and more deliberate than normal.

The flat tire did serve as a motivator to solve two problems.

I had mounted a 2.4 Rekon Race on the back of the Radimus when I thought Pisgah would be closed for, like, ever.  Then Pisgah opened up, and it didn't take long for me to realize that it is not the perfect choice for fall/winter Pisgah leaf/loam riding.  Now I have an excellent excuse to replace it with something more appropriate for the conditions.

Then there's this:

I think it's dead.  It has so many dings, tears, and holes that were evidence of a job well done.  That said, the Vittoria Air-Liner installation and removal is much easier.  It feels a little more stable in run-flat mode (now that I've had the chance to squeeze both after losing 90% of the air inside the tire).  It just seems... better.

Granted, the Birzman Tubeless Tire Levers are the best thing ever since the invention of tire inserts.  If you don't have them, you should obtain them immediately.  I get absolutely nothing for endorsing them, other than a smug Ohio Kenny saying "I told you so." 

So now, with a four day weekend coming up and a probable Pisgah day on the menu, there is not enough time for me to get a new Vittoria Air-Liner Light (from Watts *because he keeps them in stock and is the reason I currently own one) and a 2.4 Maxxis Minion DHR 3CG/EXO/TR on my bike for such an adventure.  This makes me sad, but not as sad as I was after the ride on Saturday.

Anyhoo...

After the ride, we stopped at Ecusta Brewing for a beer and a bite.  I didn't select our table, but I did decide where to sit... with my eyes staring directly into the setting sun.  After I picked up my loaded bowl, I ambled over to the sauce counter, my eyes still seeing spots and flares.  I couldn't read the labels, so I picked mine based on color. With no time to waste with taste-testing since someone was waiting for the little old man to make his selection, I proceeded to squirt the hot sauce all over my bowl with the exuberance of a six year old putting ketchup on French fries.  

I chose poorly.

I paid a certain price for my haste and ignorance.

So, with time to reflect on the whole day, it was not a total disaster.  I learned not one, not two, not three, but four lessons on the day that are actionable and very memorable.  I will change my tire and tire liner.  I will select a better line on Searcy Creek Connector through that one spring crossing.  I will take my time when selecting hot sauces to drown my food in to save myself some future agony.

So anyways, the Vittoria Air-Liner Light gets my Seal of Semi-Approval.

I still don't like that I can't easily check sealant levels with my Park Tool TB1 (Turkey Baster 1).  I'm not thrilled about the idea of carrying out a sealant drizzled liner if I need to put in a tube.  All that said, I can't imagine getting rowdy on a hard tail without a liner.  So many group ride disappoint flats and race day sadnesses that I'm willing to wear a liner outta the woods bandolier-style or at least hide it away in the woods for retrieval on another day (if that could actually work out).  I'll never go without one installed, despite cost, hassle, and weight.**  I've definitely heard my rear tire bottom out with the Vittoria Air-Liner Light installed too many times to count, but it doesn't show as much wear and tear as the Tubolito.  Dare I say it's a more durable pool noodle?

I dare.

Buy one.  Or if you're an idiot like me who owns two hard tails that are so similar that if you squint from twenty yards away, you can't tell which one is which... mebbe buy two.

There you have it.  A "product review" of something without even one image of the product... because it's a tire liner, and you're never supposed to see them anyways.

* Yeth, Watts has an online store now.  He's basically the next Speedgoat.

** except on my fully turgid single speed that keeps the rowdiness more in check (most of the time) and has a flat incident ratio of front to rear that's close to 1:3

Why stand on a silent platform?

Fight the war...

That's what went through my mind anyways.

At the age of fifty five (and a half), if and when I have a quiet moment, I find myself "reflecting."  Dealing with certain adult stuff lately that's been emotionally draining has me thinking about where I'm at, where I'm headed, and how I got here.  From time to time, I wonder if I shoulda pursued a "career" that uses my brain more.  I used to be smart, at least I think I was (despite how I come off here, there, wherever).  Grades, college entrance test scores, my initial path once I started my "higher learning"...

I probably coulda been good at something... had I known where to direct my pretty immature young twenty something year old energies.

I still think it's insane that we ask seventeen year old humans, "What do you want to do the rest of your life... keeping in mind that if you choose wrong you could end up in loads of debt and heading in the wrong direction?"

Life happens.  I re-meet The Pie in the latter months of my college life.  Our two paths became one, I graduate, so does she, and the next thing you know, I'm a bike messenger in Charlotte in 1996.

I'm leaving a lot of blanks to be filled in, but obviously that was never even close to anything like a "plan."

The job really suited me.  A constant barrage of new information that had to be sorted in my brain only to be immediately resorted every twenty minutes all while negotiating traffic and other humans in the process of being (in my way).  The combination of mental gymnastics and the physicality of the job gave me what I needed, and something that I could walk away from at 5:00PM with pretty much a clean mental slate. 

Now that I've been in my current job for seventeen years(?), I still do messenger work, but I spend way more time with "administrative" tasks.  I enjoy the problem solving aspects of my job, and I do get to work with some really great people, but...

I need mental stimulation and physical movement to keep my mind sharp and my body communicating with that same aforementioned mind.  Sometimes, I want to be everywhere all at once but other times have a singular, intense, all-encompassing focus on what's in front of me.

Thank dog, Western North Carolina trails are back on the menu.
  

Nothing feeds my brain like bombing down a leaf-covered Trace Ridge at Mach Chicken on a stupid hard tail.  I feel like I'm giving in to getting old if my need for speed is not respected in some manner, and since I'm not one to fly down the highway risking tickets and lives, this is about the only thing that fits the bill.  It had been almost two and a half months since I'd ridden in the Motherland, and I was a little concerned that mebbe it had been too long.

It had not.

And once again, I'm totally happy where I am in life at the moment.  

Bleth.

Onward and offwards

Thorry not thorry about the break.  Life got busy.  Work got busy.  I won't blame post-election feelings, although on drive to Florida for a vacation with The Pie last Thursday, I did have some strange unexplained chills and aches that went away some twenty hours hours later.  I'm sure it was just something I ate or touched or looked at in a side-eyed manner.

Speaking of the election (sorta), I deleted Twitter from my phone this past weekend.  I only joined a million years ago because it was considered a social media format that was desirable to bike cycle athlete sponsors.  I barely ever posted there initially, and soon after considered it pointless, but then eventually found it to be a reputable source for finding actual bona fide journalism.  Then a certain someone bought it, thus commencing some insane shittery to include loads of pronbots (making it almost impossible to look at while at work) which were then magically quieted to allow for an immense flow of disinformation (who knows why?).  Immediately after the election, everything was almost normal for a day or two... almost like someone didn't need this outlet anymore... and then the pronbots returned as well as a certain amount of dipshittery... so I decided I was out.  Whilst I will miss some of the actual real information I was able to glean from certain people I followed, I'll gain back the time I would spend looking for reliable sources vetting through all the turds I was voluntarily allowing to be dangled in front of my eyes.

Speaking of sponsors... 

This will be a lame but what I would call "necessary" update.  I've taken the time to whittle down my "Dick Supporters" list on the sidebar.  Some painful departures in there, some probably more business-related, non-emotional cuts.

Vertigo. 

While I still own the decade plus old frame and will probably keep it until I'm ded or in a nursing home room with limited storage space, Vertigo as a brand ceased to exist earlier this year.  Sean will no longer be assembling titanium pipes into rideable art.  Sigh.  That said, I've mostly been riding my new Optimus exclusively since I built it up, but the Vertigo Meatplow V.7 will still have purpose.  It's probably the last custom frame I'll ever have built, so I can't let it go.  We've had many adventures together, and there will be many more to come.

Topeak & GORE Wear

They kinda go hand-in-hand for me.  Both companies were brought into my world by Thorpe Marketing at the same time.  It was a most fortunate relationship, especially the GORE Wear part of it.  Being a "bike commuter/bike messenger/bike cycle sport athlete" since '96, I've enjoyed a lot of bad weather over the years.  If I can't say their gear has saved my ass, I can at least say it kept it a whole lot drier.  For their part, Topeak has supplied me with enough useful tools, stands, bike storage solutions and whatnot to probably keep me happy for the rest of my lifetime.  I hate to see the lights go out, and I'm not sure if the ambassador program just went away or in another direction (young people who use social media correctly?), but it was a good ride.  It's been more than a year since an unsexpected mystery package has showed up on my porch, so probably time for an official goodbye.  

Last but certainly not least...

Backcountry Research

Honestly, it's been since early Covid days when I last had contact with my main man there, Richard.  Magically, I was the first customer way back in 2009.  It ended up being a very mutually beneficial relationship, especially after I came up with the idea for the Tülbag.  I handstitched the prototype, and BR improved on it one thousand fold in terms of materials, design, and construction.

I still use it to hold my money on Sad Dad™ rides around town tho.  Love dem member berries.

I can't foresee a day when every single one of my bikes doesn't have flat-fixing gear strapped under the saddle (aside from the ones that get locked up where there's a potential for anything that isn't bolted on to be stolen).  I still consider the Super 8 top tube strap to be the most ingenious yet elegantly simple bike thing in the world.  I'll love BR with all my heart till I die, but...

Cleansing the "Dick Support" serves two purposes.  I don't want to be coming off as something I'm not, and it seems disingenuous to leave them up there any longer.  Like in a "look at me, Mr Big Time Sponsored Bike Cycle Athlete!" when in reality, I'm an old dude who still blogs (jeebus, for almost twenty years), and these people still are down with my current activities.  The other reason is to give full credit where credit is due.  Those that are left up there have been long time super duper Dick Supporters, and I have a personal relationship with one or more people in each company.  Bleth.

I've made a commitment to myself to at least keep this blerhg alive'ish through the end of 2025.  That would make it twenty whole years (the first three years are lost to the wind when blogger.com ceased to exist).  It's a silly goal, but at least it is a goal... so there's that.  I'm guessing that once I let this go, so will go some (all?) of the support... or not.  Perhaps I'll do what most bloggers from days of yore have done and swap to a more relevant short form version of communicating on social media things.  Dunno.  Mebbe.  I've never been one to be brief.

We'll see.

Optimustic Attitude

It's been almost two months since I got my new Optimus Ti frame all built up and rolling.  I've got way more than three hundred miles on it now, so allow me to throw out my ten cents (you know the two cents is free).

Funny not funny, I did a podcast interview months ago that may or may not ever see the light of day.  Perhaps it will kill this particular pod for good, just like when I did a never released interview with Fat Cyclist right before he pulled the plug in 2016.  Who knows?

Anyhoo, during the interview, at some point we talked about bikes, specifically (I think) any bike I was excited about.  I described my ultimate endurance XC single speed that I would never end up building because what would be the point of it?  I already had my bases covered with my Vertigo and Radimus, but if I could have something...

It would be a 120mm front travel, modern geometry, titanium single speed.  For "racing."  Because I'm an "athlete" who needs "performance."  I just couldn't justify the expense or another bike in the house.  

Then I got bored (very bored) with my Epic EVO, hadn't ridden it with gears since November, and only rode it as a single speed eighty or so miles in early 2024.

Combine the fact that the Epic EVO was just devaluing as time went by, both Fox and Industry Nine had released some new components that piqued my interest, and the whole project wouldn't cost me all that much once I sold some shit, and... potential energy met catalyst.

I asked for this.  Dunno why.  Mebbe to help me keep track of which ti single speed I was grabbing off the wall.

Kilos because I can't get it to swap back to pounds, but converts to a little over 4.5lbs with a drooper housing, seat collar, and all the slider hardware installed.

The first ride back in September, leaning against Bob Ross Rock.

The handling felt pretty natural, as the geometry is pretty close to the Radimus, aside from the 20mm shorter travel fork.

Not stock hardware, but the kinda stuff I pay attention to for no real good reason at all.

Reverse panel this time because I needed my third Vassago frame to be "different."

This is the first iteration of spacer arrangement I went with.  I'm now on my f̶o̶u̶r̶t̶h̶ f̶i̶f̶t̶h̶ s̶i̶x̶t̶h̶ seventh installment (sorry, I've been working on this post for three weeks) of shifting them from top to bottom trying to find the absolute sweet spot before chopping my steer pipe with a blunt hatchet.

I'm kinda stoked Tom went back to the old head badge design.  It's classic, what can I say?

How do I like it?

I'm smitten.  I knew I would like it because a wise cleric told me that it would fill a void in my soul.  Even before Western North Carolina closed, I knew I'd be choosing this bike over the others for 90% of my riding for awhile.  Closer to the handling of my Radimus while being closer to the weight of the Vertigo.  It's predictable.  It's fast.  It feels... natural.

And it feels totally different from the other two single speeds that look almost exactly like it. 

For those that are keeping score, that is three titanium single speeds owned by the same guy who drives a fourteen year old car.  You have your priorities, and I have mine.

And for those that sweat these things, the build is thus:

Frame: Vassago Optimus Ti

Fork: Fox Step Cast with Grip SL
Wheels: 24 spoke Industry Nine SOLiX m UL300

Tires: Maxxis OG Forekaster 2.6/Aspen 2.4 with Vitoria Air-Liner Light XC insert (rear)
Brakes: Shimano XTR M9120 brakes w/TruckerCo organic semi-metallic pads
Handlebars: Santa Cruz carbon 780mm

Stem: Industry Nine

Grips: ESI Racers Edge

Bottom bracket: Cane Creek Hellbender 70

Headset: Cane Creek 40

Dropper post: Fox Factory Transfer 180mm

Saddle: Ergon SMR3
Pedals: Shimano XTR

Cranks: Race Face NEXT R

Bottle cages; King titanium

Chain: KMC X9SL
Cog: Wolf Tooth

Seat post clamp: Wolf Tooth
Bar end plugs: Wolf Tooth