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Friday, January 30

Do you have clearance?

Last night's high level top secret meeting went well, although nothing we discussed seemed too high level, and since I'm telling you everything I'd have to say it wasn't very top secret either. I was supposed to ride uptown and meet Will Bolt (one biological half of the Bolt Brothers) and Dave (the MOOTSREP who happened to be scurrying all over the Southeast in the name of all things MOOTS), but they were running late. We ended up meeting a car drive from my house, and for the people who don't know me very well this proves just how important this meeting was as I never leave the house after dark on a weekday in a CAR. Agoraphobia can keep you out of a lot of trouble.

Anyways....

We settled into a private meeting room at the Hickory Tavern near scenic I485 for some hush-hush whisper type conversation. Actually we didn't get a private meeting room, but we did have a small table in the corner away from the regular restaurant regulars and hidden from the eyes and ears of the cycling media hacks with their long telephoto lenses and parabolic listening devices. I'm sure we were sitting purposely close to the kitchen so the background clatter of pots, pans, and squabbling kitchen staff would keep what we had to say off the front pages this morning (gee, it worked).

I would love to say that I was strong and kept my Moon Cheese Sandwich dreams to myself, and that I never once brought up my strong desire to have a 36" wheeled bike, but you'll never hear me say that I was "strong". I can say I waited at least a half hour before sticking this topic into the conversation in a most stilted manner, and although a direct "NEVER" did not come out of Dave's mouth I don't think I heard "Hey, that's the best thing I've ever heard of" either. Let's just say that the Moon Cheese Sandwich is still on the back burner, and may stay there for quite some time. Perhaps I shall rename it the GRILLED Moon Cheese Sandwich since it has spent more time on the back burner than universal health care.

We talked quite a bit about blood doping and the pro peleton. I think this conversation was pre-planned in order to delve into my past and see if I would admit to using banned substances to accomplish one or more of my monumental achievements. I assured everyone at the table (and the members of the media that swamped me when I left the Hickory Tavern) that I have never done anything, including the use of banned substances, marginally unethical race tactics, professional fitting, or even a formalized training program to enhance my race results. Upon saying that MOOTSREP Dave pulled out the 420 page Code of MOOTSETHICS and said "Then if you could sign here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and initial here, and sign here, here, here, and here we should be all good".

Things that were discussed that perked my ears up were:

Skinsuits
Seatstays
Racing plans
MOOTSTOPIAN society
Interbike
Memoirs
Colorado
Private jets

Political aspirations

Let's just say that 2009 is going to be peachy keen, and that's all you really need to know. All photos from last night have been deemed classified and taken purely for the sake of historical reference for that moment when that moment can be looked at in a historical context.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

SHHHHHHhhhhh............!
TmmyD

Anonymous said...

Richy boy,
I'm taking a big jet liner to the carribean (10 islands 10 days)
Just wonder how much you boyz pay for a bike box on US air?

dicky said...

$100 each way

Elk said...

Wow, I didn't know Moots rolled like that...hope you don't big league me now.

Will B. said...

Man you must be on the Super Duper Factory Team, I wasn't asked to sign anything.