Gerry Pflug eats people (and other facts)

Yesterday was the last day to register for the Fool's Gold 100, so the start list should pretty much remain unchanged. I checked it last night and noticed that Gerry "The Pflug" Pflug is now registered in the single speed class. This "man" totally dominated the single speed class at the Cohutta 100, the Lumberjack 100, and the Wilderness 101... not to mention a second place in the thin air at the Breckenridge 100. He's all but sealed up his number one spot in the NUE, yet he has decided to come to Georgia because he wants to tell the single speed world "There is no mercy in my dojo".

I started trying to gather information on Gerry to see if he had any weaknesses. I went straight to the bastion of all things truthful and facty (Facebook) and asked around. The following is what folks in the know had to say about Gerry. Some of it might just be terrible rumors, but most of it is just too incredible to not believe.

When Gerry does a hundred miler he puts a whole fried chicken in each of his drop bags.

Roger Masse tried to pass Gerry at the Wilderness 101, but Gerry looked over at him and said "Oh no you didn't". Roger dropped back sheepishly and went into the next aid station looking for a hug.

Gerry had such a significant lead at the Cohutta 100 that when he broke his chain at the 68 mile mark rather than fix it himself he went out into the woods, captured a squirrel, and trained it to fix his chain (through intimidation and reward) just to keep his hands clean.

"I wasn't going to do it, but when Gerry offered me his nuts I couldn't say no."

Some folks say Gerry is in his forties, legends has it he may be as old as 87, and Gunnar says "I remember when Gerry used to deliver my Sunday paper on his Schwinn Stingray. He was a nice young boy as I recall".

Gerry eats a giant Lebanese salami every morning for breakfast.

"Meat in a skinsleeve for breakfast! Success!!!"

Gerry came into the third aid station at the Wilderness 101 way sooner than expected. When he arrived he demanded some Pringles, but the volunteer told him they weren't there yet. Gerry grabbed the volunteer by the wrist, took a bite out of his forearm, and exclaimed "You are now my Pringles". He rode away with his mouthful of volunteer meat screaming "You'd better hurry up and get to the next aid station Pringles".

Gerry doesn't carry CO2 or a pump since he can fill a 29X2.1 tire to 39PSI with his mouth in under ten seconds.

Powerthirst wanted to develop an energy drink using Gerry's sweat as an active ingredient. The drink, which was going to be simply named "Pflug", failed as they were never able to get Gerry to sweat. "He's just too cool to perspirate" claimed one lab technician.

Gunnar tried to congratulate Gerry on his performance at the Wilderness 101, but Gerry didn't remember "old man Shogren" from his paper route days, and sensing "stranger danger" he preceded to beat Gunnar with a giant Lebanese Salami.

Apparently he left Gunnar naked and handcuffed to a refrigerator after the beating.

Race promoters are considering changing the name of the "single speed class" to "Gerry's class" or "Gerry and the other guys who should probably look into other sports like curling or Etch-a-Sketch".

I'm scared. Is this Gerry Pflug as fierce and awesome as they say? Will it be enough that he beats me to the finish line, or if I look at him funny will he beat me a huge tube of meat? Does he have a sense of humor?

I guess we'll see...

Any of the rest of yinz heard of this Gerry guy?