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Friday, November 20

Hey Dickhead!

It's that time of year. Beer with supper, beer after supper, followed by more beer. The dark skies and chilly air coming in through every crack in the house seem to be some sort of catalyst driving me to the fridge. My lackluster income and my current taste in beer are of an inverse proportion to my previous earnings and the standards I used to accept as acceptable. A decade ago my Cool 'n Fresh bin woulda been filled with Yuengling Light, but as Big Worm (rookie Charlotte messenger) says you can't unlearn once you've had the diggities. I concur. Can you say "Beer sponsor"? Theres something that could save me some money, especially in the "off season". I need a beer sponsor with a beer budget and performance based beer incentives

I wonder how Jake Kirkpatrick (former jolly elf turned skinny racer boy) keeps his girlish figure, what with his constant access to Fat Tire Ale and all the other New Belgium tasties.

#1 Bastard.

Last night I was listening to Jimmy Buffet in the shower. Wait... that didn't come out right. I was not lurking around outside Jimmy Buffet's window last night listening to him in the shower. What I meant was that I was in the shower and Jimmy Buffet was turned on... wait, that still sounds wrong. I was listening to the CD player since the radio reception was shit, and the only CD's in the bathroom were Jimmy Buffet or Magic Tree House . Since I was naked and too lazy to wrap a towel around me I decided to just listen to Mr Buffet while cleaning the day's nasty off of me. It got me to thinking....

Jimmy so moved the masses with his simple tunes that he has a cult following known as Parrotheads. Then I was thinking about the Grateful Dead and their followers known as the Dead Heads, and I realized I need a cult following if I ever wanna make it big time... then it came to me.

The Dick Heads.

Who wants in? I google searched some really sweet images looking for t-shirt ideas, but as you can imagine they were not very SFW, so I didn't bother posting them here. The best idea I had that didn't have an image of a penis on it would simply be:

Yes, I'm a Dick Head.
What's your excuse?


Of course Jimmy and Jimmy didn't go out and form the fan clubs, the fans did it themselves. So go ahead and get the t-shirts made, and I won't tell anybody it was my idea. Just cut me in on the proceeds, and everything will be copacetic.

BTW: Today's post was inspired by...

my phone.

10 comments:

Jason said...

I THINK there may be a cult of Dick Heads. Beyond the bath house worshipers. I think that Dick Dale's legions of fans refer to themselves as Dick Heads. But I doubt he rides, and his music never had any lyrics, so bring on the Bad Idea Racing Dick Heads.

BTW I'm with you on a beer sponsor. I figure that would be just the push I need to get to Clydesdale class, and start fresh in the middle of another class.

Christopher Averett said...

I have asked the same question year after year "Why can't I have a beer sponsor?" Some company out there needs to have their brand drank in large groups made up of mainly 25 to 45 year olds, right?

Anonymous said...

Mafia Racing has a beer sponsor. Here in Philly, Human Zoom has a Beer sponsor. Dogfish used to sponsor a team around here too.

dicky said...

Anon....

Good for them. I will hit them all up for a free beer if I ever bump into them in public or bump into their privates.

Peter Keiller said...

beer sponsor - good.

any buffet that doesn't involve deep fried cat smothered in an orange sauce - very very bad.

Big Bikes said...

I've off-handedly mentioned my desire for Dale's Pale Ale/Oskar Blues to sponsor me several times...and nothing. I have probably gotten way more people to buy a $11 six pack of Dale's than I have people to buy a Superfly or an Endless Cog. I'm practically a Dale's rep for chrissakes.

I liked that Jimmy Buffet in the shower bit, good stuff.

Anonymous said...

I'm in. Now people will have a reason for calling me a D**k Head.

It's a code word, really.

Doug Brummett said...

110% awesome. Kind of round about with the whole Jimmy Buffet shower bit, but when you got to your cult following a damn near spit my high zoot black and tan on the screen. Thanks Dick Head.

Anonymous said...

i am soo gonna make a Dick HEad jersey!

Anonymous said...

Hey Dicky! I just watched 24 Solo last night while drinking great beer, and you will never guess what I saw! I saw the original DickHead climbing on his pink spoked Moots. I made my buddy back it up 3 times to be sure. Thanks for sharing your fame with a mere mortal such as myself.
Kyle