Wednesday, December 23

Where's this thing going?

To answer some of the questions from yesterday's HUGE announcement:

Will you be keeping your Moots frame and doing some fresh decorating as Big Dave mentioned above (Make yourself a custom headbadge for the Moots, remove the decals, put whatever decals you want on it)?

Adam B

I will not be riding the MOOTS next year. The Meatplow moniker will be shifted to the next rig which will be here shortly and announced slightly less shortly thereafter. Why replace the MOOTS? It seems weird to ride the same bike I rode last year while I was sponsored when I'm no longer sponsored. Call me a spoiled brat or just a dumbass, but I am choosing to buy something that is a little more... unnnhh... more.... all right, less MOOTSy. It will all make sense sooner or later.

you busy this this weekend?

Peter Keiller

As of yet Peter I have no plans. I was thinking about heading to the Cheesecake Factory, but I found out last night it is NOT a strip club. What a stupid name for a restaurant.

(re: new sponsor) Condom Warehouse?

Joshua Stamper

No, the new sponsor would not be Condom Warehouse. I was sterilized in a home economics accident back in the late 80's, so I have no use for condoms other than keeping the rain out of the barrel of my M-16 assault weapon.

All the cool kids are whoring themselves in 2010. Hope you'll still be on that frame though. Yikes, I'd sell my wife into slavery for that thing.


Jason, you're offer is pretty sweet, but since slavery has been abolished I will consider a period of indentured servitude in exchange for one ti frame. Can your wife degrease a chain?

And now back to me and my world...

I'm sure there's a perfect explanation for my decision, though I have yet to pin it down. Perhaps I'm just dropping my sponsor so Tomi will get me off his "Oh so pro" blog list...

Nah. Tomi's a cheater, so why would I care what he thinks? Cheater? Well, I found this photo that was taken after the last stage of the Breck Epic:

Apparently Tomi had a beer swilling midget packed away in his Bento Box (right behind his stem). When it came time to coast his fixed gear bike down the road he would kick his legs up in the air and the drunk little man would hold them up for him so he could relax. Sad indeed.

Some of you might be wondering if I'm quitting my job now that I'm an unprofessional journalist. Perhaps I might be going full time with my magazinistic ventures and quitting the messenger/racer thing for good. No, that is not the case...

photo cred Big Worm

The folks at Dirt Rag Headquarters said I couldn't wear my orange shorts at the office (apparently Maurice is distracted by bright objects), so I have to keep my old job if I wanna keep it real.

Speaking of magazines and keeping it real and strippers...

The latest issue of XXCMag came out last week while I was too busy mourning the loss of Wally to mention it. Once again Jason has put together something worthwhile to look at... well except for an article on running by Andrew Brautigam that included the following:

5. Never, ever, EVER run in either short-shorts or with your shirt off. No one wants to see your cyclist hair-shorts (if you shave over the winter) or your skinny, emaciated bird-chest. See: Schleck, Frank, and Dillen, Rich.

Hmmm... how ironic that just the other day I as out shopping for short-shorts, and then I read this fascinating piece of advice. Sorry, but Run Club Part Duh has been heating up, and I'm sweating up my UnderArmors while I'm running. When I head back outside in my sweaty drawers to hop on my bike and make deliveries I'm freezing my....unnhhhh... package off. I must admit though it's nice to be lumped into some kind of group with Frank Schleck.

I'm off work tomorrow, so I'm not getting up to blog. I promise there will be more news next week, and perhaps just a bit more Tomi bashing if you're all good little girls and boys.

Merry Christmas... even you Tomi


Christopher said...

Merry Christmas!

Luis G. said...

Lay off the pushups man!

Anonymous said...

You should put some pegs and flat pedals on the moots. We could start doing "urban assault" again. Or maybe just stay home and watch sunday afternoon movies on WCCB. I haven't seen "the last boyscout" in a while.

Jason said...

LOL! If I had an "emaciated bird chest" like Dillen comma Rich I would never wear a shirt. BUT I will wear a "tube top" and short shorts, but only Daisy Dukes. That way not only can I show off my hair shorts, I get get some serious thigh rubbage.

BTW I plan to adhere to Rule #4b of cycling magazine publishing which says- "include references to either Rich Dillen, Team Dicky, or Bad Idea Racing in each issue to assure a strong, although be it slightly drunken, readership.

Sorry about Wally.

Good luck in '10

zencycle said...

"I was sterilized in a home economics accident back in the late 80's"

Same here - except for me it was this one time in band camp.....

Andrew Brautigam said...

Bringing Sexy Back. And run Club.