Friday, April 30

With great power comes great irresponsibility

After realizing the awesome potential of being named one of The Top Fifty Most Influential Cycling Blogs Bad Idea Racing Manager Mike Piazza realized we needed to strike while the iron was hot. Recently he was relieved of certain duties though, so he suggested that sponsor liaison Admiral Ackbar should compose an email to the Dick Supporters informing them that they are now the people behind the scenes of one of The Top Fifty Most Influential Cycling Blogs in the world. Of course after composing the email I would sign off on it before it was sent to our people. You don't think Lance composes his own emails, do you? Hell, he even has people that twitter for his unborn fetus which will probably put his unborn fetus on the list of The Top Fifty Most Influential Cycling Blogs next year since twittering seems to be the key to cracking the top ten. Anyways, this is the email that went out to the Dick Supporters yesterday:

Subject: I'm very influential

Good morning all,

As you are all the individuals (who represent your companies) who put their money where my mouth is I thought you would wanna know that I made the list of The Top Fifty Most Influential Cycling Blogs. I'm sure these results are so scientific that a NASA rocket scientist couldn't dispute their validity, so take pride in the fact that you are the people behind the scenes that make it possible for me to be interesting enough to lock up my solid 36th place. I've set my sites on attaining a rank as high as 26th place in 2011, so look for big things in the year to come.

Be sure to forward this announcement to the highest of highs at your respective places of employment in order to prove to your superiors that you didn't necessarily piss away your marketing budget on me. If you're as high as it gets in your employment food chain just reach around and pat yourself on the back.

In the words of the immortal Frank Bartles...

"and thanks for your support"

Dick "36th most influential cycling blogger of 2010" Dillen

PS: Be sure to add an extra zero to those checks next year as I skyrocket up the ladder of influentiality.

And this first response from Mike Farney of Raxter Racks would explain why I choose the companies I do:

Wow! That’s amazing. I feel like we’re riding the coat tails of a blazing comet (do comets have coat tails?). Glad to be part of the ride. Like George Jr. and George Sr. Bush do to avoid the formality of calling each other “Mr. President”, they just call each other the number of their presidency, “41” and “43”, we all should just start calling you “36”. Let us know when you change your name.

Congrats on your influentiality.


You get me, you really get me.

Yesterday, no doubt due to my rising value in the industry as on of The Top Fifty Most Influential Cycling Blogs, I garnered another follower. This now puts me up to 100 followers, not only making it that much harder for The Original Big Ring to achieve his goal of getting 1/3 the following that I have I am now that much closer to my goal of having 1/9 the followers of Jill Homer, fellow non-twitterer and convicted raisin smuggler. Perhaps I'll start adding some Speedo photos to my blog in order to get the sex appeal thing going for me like Jill does constantly on her blog (Jill has recently started posting photos of her attractive sister like it was sweeps week in the blog world... shameless).

Blog racing at it's best.

On to something else....

I was reading Bike Rumor (also one of The Top Fifty Most Influential Cycling Blogs) yesterday, and found an article about Industry Nine's new carbon rimmed wheels. Holding said wheels in the main photo was none other than my contact at Industry Nine Jeff Baucom.

Below the photo was the following caption:

Presented here by Jeff Baucom who says “if I didn’t look like some sort of dirt bag in your photos, Tyler, it just wouldn’t be a good Bikerumor picture,”

What do you mean exactly by "some sort of dirt bag" Mr Baucom? This sort of dirt bag?

Admiral Ackbar will be in touch, and he said to expect your kickback check to be short this month (things are shady like that in the bike industry).

So anyways... PMBAR tomorrow. I WILL BE WEARING THE GOPRO HD CAMERA. There will be footage. It will probably take awhile for me to edit it, so don't get too excited. Expect lotsa PMBAR related posts next week and maybe a sneak peek at the footage... a big MAYBE.


Blair said...

As a former smokeless tobacco user longing to reminisce about the joys of participating in that foul habit, I was disappointed to see that is not a blog about bikers who dip.

(Re: GoPro - turn it on and fuggedaboudit!)

WV: crearfiz - what the guy behind you does when you use an assgrater seat.

TheMutt said...

You said, "reach around." That is all.

Anonymous said...

I had that look first Dicky, so expect a bill for the licensing fees.

It won't be cheap.
Your PMBAR winnings should cover it though.


dwight yoakam said...

ride hard, dick. have fun up in pisgah.

and the mutt beat me to it, but the 'reach around' almost made me lose my cereal.

Leyonce said...

Good luck tomorrow.
Thanks for wearing the camera.
Can't wait to see the carnage.