Am I ready to race tomorrow?

I would say yes.

Getting ready for a six hour race is a piece of cake, especially when the promoter supplies the vittles. No need to fill bottles or nuthin'. My pit fits in my old messenger bags, and that's all I the shit I really need to be ready. Well, that and be prepared to ride my bike for six hours tomorrow. How will I do? Who knows, but all the turning of pedals will all be in the name of something bigger.

Speaking of which I got the latest Trans Sylvania press release in an email the other day. Since you may not have seen it, here it is, not quite in its exasperatingly boring entirety, and with some added notes where information is missing important factoids. For those that would prefer to read the press release without all the valuable information I've included (and deleted) it can be seen here.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE MAY 12, 2010

AMERICA'S BEST TO TAKE ON THE TRANS-SYLVANIA EPIC, AMERICA'S LONGEST
MOUNTAIN BIKE STAGE RACE

STATE COLLEGE - The Trans-Sylvania Epic, the longest mountain bike stage race experience in the USA offering seven days in the mountain bike paradise that is the Alleghenies region of Pennsylvania, is attracting the most competitive field of endurance racers (and Rich Dillen) to yet assemble for an MTB stage race in North America.

Mountain bike luminaries such as Cannondale Factory Racing's Jeremiah Bishop...

Lest we forget Jeremiah Bisquick's presence, AKA the Second Coming

and WTB's Mark Weir...

Dicky's favorite on the trail hoe-down partner

alongside PAValleys.com's National 24 Hour Solo Series Champions Bradon Draugulis ('09) and Rob Lichtenwalner ('07/'08); perennial NUE series contenders Christian Tanguay and Harlan Price...

He's so dreamy. Ask nice and he'll autograph your boob.

from Team CF as well as endurance race stalwart Evan Plews and top US Ruta finisher Alex Grant (Cannondale) are some of the stars who will be battling it out daily with a slate of regional stars and local legends for the right to wear the Pactimo TSE Leader's Jersey. The women's entrants are just as powerful with multiple time World 24 Champ, Rebecca Rusch...

Who, despite her long standing animosity towards Dicky, has accepted his challenge to a stare down contest with all ties to be disputed by shotgunning PBR's.


(Specialized), women's 2009 Iron Cross Champion Selene Yeager...

Bicycling Magazine's Fit Chick, arch nemesis of Dirt Rag's own Fit Dick

and her Team CF mates Nikki Thiemann and Kristin Gavin, PAValleys.com's Carolyn Popovich and Karen Potter (MTBRaceNews.com) amongst those ripping each other apart daily in pursuit of their own Pactimo leader's jersey at the TSE.

TSE director Mike Kuhn noted, "The quality of the racers taking part in our first year is fantastic; there hasn't been a field like this assembled for a mountain bike race in the region in a long time." He added, "It's not just elite racers, Dicky's showing up too. We have people coming because they see Trans-Sylvania as a perfect mountain bike vacation or as an incredible challenge. We can't wait to show mountain bike enthusiasts and racers from across North America just how good the riding is in Pennsylvania as this event unfolds."

"This is a great opportunity to meet and interact with some of the nation's best racers... did we mention that Dicky will be there too?" added director Ray Adams. "If you love mountain biking you'll have a whole week to ride incredible trails and compare notes with some of the finest riders, not to mention Dicky, around the bonfire each evening. You're not going to find this blah, blah, blah... more marketing hype... experience that."

When asked why he is choosing TSE over the multitude of of stage races out there; CFRs Bishop replied, "It's about riding kille....

Sorry, I tend to fall asleep and dream of Jeremiah Bisquick whenever I hear him talk or even read something that he might say. It's not that he's boring, I just prefer the Jeremiah Bisquick of my dreams that wields a lightning bolt while riding a unicorn made of peanut M&M's.

Specialized's three time Women's World 24 Hour Solo Champ Rebecca Rusch commented on TSE, "I love mountain bike stage races because the offer the opportunity to really see the riding an area has to offer. For me 7 days in a row of hard racing is a perfect training block and sort of my own PA boot camp. I have not ridden out East much and from what I hear, this place offers some of the best single track in the world. The TSE jumped out at me because of the reputation of the race directors, the chance to ride out East and the time of year of the event. I look forward to staring Dicky down for a final time, and then hope we never cross paths again." Her husband Greg Martin (Club Ride Apparel), owner of two 24 Hr Solo Singlespeed World Titles added, " I'm really looking forward to spending a full week riding some of the beautiful trails that PA has to offer. Having grown up in Virginia and now living out west, I really miss the technical trails that the east coast is famous for. This is going to be a super fun race! Since Dicky was a 24 Hr Solo Singlespeed World Champ two years before I was it will be a real honor to toe the line with him, even though I didn't follow the SS World Champ code by turning my back on the race when I returned to defend my title. I hope he can forgive me as I don't want to lose my spot amongst the Elitist Singlespeed Illuminati."

WTB's legendary Mark Weir offered up a slightly different motivation for attending, "I'm looking forward to the opportunity to crush Dicky again. He had all those sad excuses after the 2007 Hell Ride... "My suspension was soft, I had BC Bike Race coming up, I got lost up in dem dar hills..." Someone call the waaaambulance. This time we'll be on his turf (the East Coast), he'll be on his silly big wheeled bike without a bunch of technology that confuses him, and that big dumb Canuck will be his aide de camp, so there will be no excuses this time around. Then there's that Harlan guy... he's so pretty. Do you think he'll be happy to see me?"

Based out of the expansive Seven Mountain Scout Camp near State College, PA, the Trans-Sylvania Epic offers 7 days of spectacular trails in some of the most remote riding in Pennsylvania through the spectacular Allegheny mountains. Through the course of the 7 days the participants will explore over 250 miles of mountain bike heaven...

complete with its own saviour

and just scratch the surface of the trails and paths in this part of PA. The event will challenge riders physically and mentally but reward them with an experience they'll never forget. Running May 30-June 5, 2010, more information about Trans-Sylvania at www.TransSylvaniaEpic.com.

Yeah, that sounds better.

Team Dicky: Proud supporter of the Trans Sylvania Epic mountain bike stage race since day one, even though you'd never know it if I left the spreading of misinformation up to the promoters.

Did you get your Dicky's Death March shirt yet?

Someone was happy to get it, and sent me this tribute to the most awesome photo ever (not quite SFW):



Note: All photos of the mountain bike celebrities above were ripped from the internet as most of them have restraining orders against me, and I still don't have a decent telephoto lens.