Thursday, June 10

An interruption in our regularly scheduled programming....

I'll get to stage seven of the Trans Sylvania Epic in a moment, but first I must let you in on what you need to do this morning and every morning until Monday. I entered a contest, but I entered it kinda late in the game. There is some voting going on, but the voting is not to decide a winner as much as it is a way to sort through the masses and determine a top ten before a celebrity panel of judges selects a winner. What's the contest?

I've tried to win this thing for the last three years, and I want it kinda bad. What could I win?

Ultimate Summer of FREE Ride Prize Pack:

1 grand prize winner will receive:

  • Seasons pass at each resort (Whistler MountainBike Park, Sun Peaks Resort, Silver Star, Fernie, Mount Washington Bike Park)
  • 2 day passes at each park for a friend to use
  • 2 nights accommodation at each resort
  • 2 day bike rental at each resort for winner and friend (if required)
  • ½ day guide at each resort
  • $1000 travel allowance

This is what I would plan to do. Stabby and I would fly up to BC, rent a car, use up the day passes at each park, ride with the guide and tell him he needs to get a single speed, ride rental bike they were rentals, watch the Spice channel in the hotel rooms, and blow the mad money on Kokanees and moose steak.

How do you vote for me? Go here on facebook (you have to be a faceperson) and vote for "I Can't Quit You". You can vote once a day, and I suggest you vote daily until Monday since I'm getting such a late start (the voting ends Monday, and some folks have had their entries up for weeks). Once you help me dominate the polls hopefully the panel of judges (a knowledgeable bunch including Cam McRae, Darcy Turrene, and other folks that need to be impressed) will select me from the top ten vote getters. You may leave a comment when you vote, might I suggest something like "Dicky is the shit" or "Dicky hucks the gnar like a bear wears a funny hat." Once again I remind you that you can vote every day until Monday.

Of course I promise to blog the whole trip and take video while I'm there which will be edited upon my return and accompanied by a tasteless soundtrack for your viewing pleasure.

And now on to the last stage of the TSE...

With our rankings established the single speeders decided to ride together the whole stage together. Of course 5/6 of the SS field were staying at the Eagle Lodge and on the same wave, but after we got "El Patron" Greg Martin on board it was official.

Dave "Fourth Place" Cormier doesn't want anyone else to have to see my ballsack.

Luckily for us Greg was a leader in every sense. He went out on an early morning beer run and showed up to the start line with nearly 30 cans of beer in his pack. Some of the SS'ers helped lighten his load before the start, but I had to admit that I was still feeling the effects of the previous evening so I declined. I'm not a "hair of the dog" kinda guy.

We headed out at the rear of the field in no particular hurry. About five minutes into the stage we stopped for a beer. We were enjoying ourselves immensely when the rear moto pulled up and let us know he was pulling the arrows behind us. Not wanting to ruin his day we pushed the remaining beer in our half empty cans down our throats and moved on.

The party pace soldiered on with some jocularity and mayhem until we reached the only somewhat significant climb of the day, at which we dismounted and broke out more beer. We walked most of the climb and stayed outta the way of the moto. Once the climb was over we made haste to the checkpoint... and another beer.

After the checkpoint I did what I could to keep the rolling party moving. FitChick had already crushed me, but my substantial lead over Cush was dwindling while we farted around in the woods. Would I stay ahead of my media rival? Who knows... I didn't bother to wear a watch or check the gap the night before.

We (Greg, Doug, and I) decided to sit back (drink a beer) and watch Tanya, Peter, and Dave sort out the finish. We were hoping for a mad sprint around the camp lake, but they decided to finish in reverse order of the GC. In an attempt to follow suit Greg and Doug suggested I cross the line next. I was not down with this idea, and I decided I wanted to fight for DFL on the day.

As soon as I got to the line I stopped dead and started a track stand. Doug slammed on his brakes and joined me while an inattentive Greg, not expecting the Spanish Inquisition, ran into the back of Doug in a most dramatic fashion. Here is what followed:

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

So despite my best efforts Imanaged to take fourth place for stage seven, but only because of that meddling teenager Dave "Fourth Place" Cormier. Whatever. Here's the new and improved podium shot for stage seven:

The rest of the day/night was fanatastic. While I did essentially "lose" to Cushionbury at the end of the day it had a lot to do with the fact that I spent twice as much time out "enjoying" the course on the last day. Overall loss, but moral victory!! Suck it Cush. As far as the rest of the evening goes.. beers were drank, bad things happened, slingshots were fired into the dark, fires built, fun was poked, and Rebecca Rusch and I never got around to the staring contest, but we are now compatriots and amiable towards each other.

Best part of the evening?? Well I'll give you the second best part:

While the more seasoned stage race veterans eased their way from the end of the last stage to the after party, some folks hit it pretty hard.

Greg was staying over at the Rimmey Lodge (named Rim Job by its inhabitants) with the WTB folks/Rodale media elite. The party that started for Greg at 10:45AM never ended, and he showed up for the banquet looking a little worse for Weir. He was sitting there calmly waiting for his steak and shrimp to arrive looking like his evening was over when he stood up unexpectedly and exclaimed "Fuck this shit. I'm getting some salad!" That my friends is a moment in time worth seven days of hard racing.

More TSE tomorrow, but for now GO VOTE FOR ME. I am the shit. Who's got booster boots?

I do.

Once again most of the non-professional type images courtesy of Peter "My worst sponsor" Keiller. Perhaps tomorrow I will treat you to some of Peter's photo shop handiwork from the TSE... perhaps.


Jedidiah Bisquick did, so should you.


George said...

OW! My eyes! That gives new meaning to "messenger bag"

Nathan said...

Facebook can suck it