Halfway through the "Season of a Thousand Stage Races"

Did you come here to read my mind just three days out from the most important event on the international cycling calender? Sorry, maybe tomorrow I'll get my focus reigned in on ORAMM.

Maybe you came for more hydration pack controversy? None today good sir (or mam). Move along.

I wanna go ahead and mention the final two stage races I'm doing this year in my "Season of a Thousand Stage Races" (give or take 996). Next up for me is the Breck Epic. Like most races I've ever done I finished the 2009 Breck Epic with a feeling of been there, done that, never going back. Last year I was hurting pretty bad at altitude, and being slightly better off than clinically anemic it was a bit of a daily struggle for me. I was glad I finished, but it was painfully obvious that in order to do well at altitude one needs to acclimate, buy a hypobaric sleeping chamber, or just straight up dope... not that anyone there doped, but last night I was wondering if I could get a blood centrifuge on eBay (fuck me, you can).

Over the long winter BE promoter Mike McCormack asked me if I would consider coming back. Obviously I had forgotten all the pain and suffering of pushing up over Wheeler Pass, Georgia Pass, and all those other God awful passes that crushed me into a fine powder of wasted human. I said yes. I'm in much better health this year, the descents were just awesome enough to make up for all the excruciating breathless effort it took to get to them, and the views were out of this world. Seriously, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen (next to The Pie... who happens to be a nurse and capable of running a centrifuge).

photo cred: this guy

So I'm going back, and if you want to join me you'd better hurry. There are less than twenty spots left, and classy pro racers Like Ross Schnell are buying them up like cheap centrifuges on eBay*.

The last stage race I'll be doing this year is Crank the Shield. The best thing about this race is that the promoter doesn't bother using the cliche terms "epic" or "trans" as a marketing tool in the title (reminder to self: promote a race called the Trans Epic Epic). Maybe that's not the best thing about the race. Maybe it's this:

After a summer of record temps and racing and working in sweltering heat and code red days I welcome any race where people don arm and leg warmers and stomp through soft, cold mud.

I've never been to Eastern Canada before. I have done two Trans Rockies and one BC Bike Race (an "epic" journey from Vancouver to Whistler ... they had to get the word "epic" in there somehow), but I have never cranked anything on the eastern side of America's hat. It's also comforting to know that this event is put on by Chico Racing. They happen to be one of the largest and bestest bike promoters in North America, or so the internet tells me.

Crank the Shield is only three days long, so if you're looking to get your feet wet in stage racing this is a good one for you. There are less than 60 spots left, so if you're even thinking about it you might wanna click on over, do a little homework, work on your Canadian accent, watch the video, and then sign up. Not only will I be there to keep you company and hold your hand if you're scared Peter will be there as well to take a photo of you at your worst moment to exploit on his blog.

ORAMM tomorrow... I promise.

* Rad Ross Schnell only uses his centrifuge to dry his micro swim trunks.