No sense in having a cat...

unless I can let it out of the bag.

Why keep secrets? There's no point. The world will eventually know everything, and bad things can happen based on assumptions in the mean time.

Admiral Ackbar, Sponsor Liaison and Equipment Acquisitions Director, thought he knew where this whole secret project thing was going (Mike Piazza and I didn't bother to let him in on the secret) so he went ahead and started gathering parts anyways based on his baseless assumptions.

He assumed the most radical thing we might do would be to swap from pink and purple parts to Disco Orange.

Knowing that there would be much excitement about the Cane Creek 110 being offered in new and exciting colors Admiral Ackbar thought that logically we would have Disco Orange Industry Nine wheels on the way. Silly Admiral Ackbar, it was just a trap. The headset is very nice and your efforts are, as always, appreciated. Now I just need a single speed cross bike to put this on.

No my friends, this is more than just a fashion decision, and I'm not getting a single speed cross bike so I can start a new career path grinding gravel. This is more of a lifestyle change. I've decided to pull the trigger and the wheels of change are in motion. Soon I will be getting a...

Stupid google image search. What I meant was...

Yes, it's true. A squishy shifty bike is on its way to my house in Charlotte, NC. By "on its way" I mean the industry standard "on its way". The last I knew my order was "on the floor" which means little to me, but that could just mean that someone literally dropped my order on the floor, and no one has bothered to pick it up.

If you've been reading along for awhile you know I've had the desire to do something different for quite some time now. I've realized that after seven years of riding a single speed bike pretty much all the time I've been missing certain little things that can make mountain biking funner like climbing up steep technical climbs while actually ON MY BIKE. I also miss giving it a little extra gas on the downhills with the click of a button, and I miss all the clanking and banging that comes with riding a geared bike. I feel the need, the need for speed.

In order to prepare for the arrival of my Tallboy I've been boning up on my need for speed knowledge base with my jumpsuit wearing friends. We are awesome to the power of ⁿ.

Some of you might be asking yourselves "In a world of so many full suspension 29'ers, why a Tallboy?"

Here's why.

Imagine that money is no object. It's not hard for me, because aside from the few 20's I have in my binder clip money isn't really an object at all. It's just a bunch of bleeps and bloops on the bank's computers that can be wiped out with the touch of a button. Anyways, if money is truly not an object what would I want from a new frame?

Stiffness. Riding my One 9 has spoiled me. The scandium frame matched with the crabon frok has showed me what a stiff combo can feel like. Lateral stiffness makes for a predictable ride, and the handling of my current bike is off the charts awesome. Yes, this only makes me wonder just what the new Air 9 Carbon would ride like, but alas wonder is all I can do right now... well that and read what George thinks about his (bastard).

Lightweight. I want to do bad things with my new bike. It has wheels and I have testicles, so obviously I want to get on it ASAP and go fast all the time. I will race this bike sometimes when the mood strikes me in that funny way. I don't know when or where, but I will put it to good use. Not that I'll make Jeff Schalk nervous or anything, but it will be neat to go to places I've raced at in the last seven years only on a single speed and see what it's like to pedal where I've never pedaled before.

Capability. This is a hard one since I listed "lightweight" before it. I want to be able to run a 120mm fjork on my lightweight frame. That really made the frame choice quite easy since most other lightweight contenders are best balanced with a 80-100mm fjork. The Tallboy can take a 100-120 fjork, so I'd say we're in business. What business? The business of running over British children.

State of the art. VPP has been around for awhile, but it has been tweaked to pull off a 4" travel 29'er frame with 17.5" chainstays. Those of you with an attention span might remember I won the Hellride back in 2007, and I got the chance to ride a Nomad for a short while. While I liked the way the suspension worked once I got it set for my weight, I had already been converted to big wheels, and there was no turning back. VPP and big wheels? Awesome. Carbon fiber... sauce for the goose Mr Savik. That quote has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but having another carbon bike in the house makes me feel all futuristic and Spock'esque.

What are we talking about? A bike with grease ports on the main pivot, carbon upper link, tapered head tube, carbon front and rear triangle... and did I mention just over five pounds for a frame that fits a guy like me (handsome)? I will do some shit with this bike, serious shit. Maybe not Seb Kemp serious shit, but Dicky serious shit.



I want to ride in Pisgah like I did back in the day when I had a death bike. I want to loft my bike off a water bar without really knowing what's on the other side. I want to aim for obtrusive objects in the trail and hurt them. I want to run over British children in the woods. This bike will enable me to do all these things and more.

I will muse more on this special project tomorrow. More behind the scenes crap, more about the thoughts that went into my decision, more about my long term love affair with Santa Cruz bikes, and more about how I learned to stop worrying and love "the bomb".

I know what you're thinking. Team Dicky getting a bike with squishy shifty bits... a sure sign of the Apocalypse. I assure you, until Obama sprouts four heads and has the spots of a leopard you're still safe. It's prophesied.


For more reading about my next next dream bike for making great bike race go on over to singletrack.com and read all about the Bummer Life of Dejay Birtch on the road with his Air 9 Carbon. It will make you want to punch him in his strangely bearded face and then hug him and then punch him again.

Dejay Birtch... also a member of the Need for Speed Aviator Sunglasses Club.