Bailure to Launch

Things went downhill on Friday around 3:00PM. I found out that my hours will be cut back at work. I saw it coming, so it was no surprise, but it sucks nonetheless. Then I went out to eat with The Pie after work, came home and got my shit together for the Pisgah Bad Ass Race, and went to bed hoping for the best.

When I woke up Saturday morning I looked at the Doppler radar. Rain was coming, hard rain, suck ass rain... the kinda rain I did not want to ride in all day. It wasn't so much that I didn't want to ride in the rain and think about my job security for eight hours. It was more a matter of the fact that I did not want to have to deal with a rain fucked bike on Sunday that needed to be packed in a travel case by Wednesday night for Crank the Shield. When I saw that the Fed Ex tracking information on the remaining parts for my Tallboy had them showing up Saturday I decided to bail on the race, await the shifty bits, and build a bike.

The odd thing is that just last year around this time I wanted a squishy fun bike for the winter. I was racing for MOOTS, and I wasn't sure how to pull it off with the whole sponsorship conflict thing VS buying a MOOTS MOOTO XZ. I elected not to do anything since the economy was sucking ass then, so it's kinda weird that I'd have a bike to build the day after I took a decent hit in the pocket a year later. Whatever.

So the shit showed up around noon and I went to work. Worst part about building a shifty/squishy for the first time in seven years? Where to begin. I just started mounting shit up and then scratching my head before moving to the next step.

Shifty shit. Who buys these things on purpose? They're like benign tumors.

I was re-using some brakes, and I needed to use a longer line. More things to do that delayed my happiness.

Bleeding madness. At least I got to use the 6mm wrench I bought months ago for the purpose of proper bleeds.

More build photos?? I think not. I got too into doing what I was doing, so the camera was shoved to the wayside. So anyways, I put the whole damn thing together with breaks for beer, a run to the hardware store, dinner, a walk, Trouble, and Uno. Family time had to be fit in... what can I say?

I got out for a 23 mile ride yesterday. This bike rocks. More about that tomorrow after I pick the parts apart today.

Since I was starting with frame that's as stiff as a turgid teenage boy watching a Porky's movie stiffness was key in this build when it came to parts to make a complete bike of maximal stiffness. What did I do to make this bike dagnasty Porky's boner stiff?

Industry Nine Enduro front wheel with a 20mm Maxle Lite equipped 120mm travel Rock Shox Reba with a tapered steer tube. This thing goes where I point it. Very nice.

Lest we forget George gave my fjork some love so it would be all supple and shit.

Enduro Seals = Success.

Gear in the rear?

DT Swiss Thru Axle skewer thingy holding the wheel on with authority. Added stiffness in the rear? Sure thing.

George talked me into the Edge carbon riser bar.

He said if Darth Vader had a penis this would be it. This bar is mega wide. How wide? 700mm. I was not able to accommodate Darth Vader's penis, and I smashed my pinkies into a tree a couple times while riding as I was not accustomed to the width of the dark lord's manhood. I may cut them down, but the ladies tell me you get used to the extra length eventually.

The run to the hardware store?

O-Rings. They do a great job reducing cable rub and look oh-so pro. Suck it.

I so wanted to use the whole Matchmaker mount for my shifters on my lockout actuator thing, but I needed an M5 bolt with an M4 head. Clutter my bars... see if I care. Nefarious unobtainable at a local hardware store bolt.

Note the grips... they are temporary and the only thing I have left from my Hell Ride Nomad. This is not your dad's Nomad. This is the Nomad of the future, well except I have it now.

This is for the MTBR pundits...

Riser bars with a negative rise stem and a stack of spacers. FTMTBRW!!

A part from bikes past and a quick release seatpost collar for play time in the mountains this winter.

The fit for the water bottle is tight like young boy's anoos.

Big bottles do not work, but this hydration fad is for pussies anyways.

I'll talk more about the ride tomorrow, but I have to thank some folks for helping me pull this off. First off Santa Cruz helped me get this frame under my ass, and I must say I feel a bit like Ferris Bueller. As he pointedly said, "If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."

Riding it feels just like this:



And a big thanks to all the folks who helped me put shiny parts on the Tallboy including the fine folks at Cane Creek and Industry Nine. No wheels, no headset... no bike. Nice headset, nice wheels... nice bike.

And let's not forget George "El Diablo" Wisell at Bike29 who had to put up with countless phone calls, many therapy sessions, and a few threatening emails (I had no reason to threaten him, I just enjoy it). Without him I'd be dead in the water as opposed to walking on it as I currently am.

More tomorrow.