Friday, April 15

And my new PMBAR partner is....

Sorry, I've got to mention this first.

I may have misled some folks with my post yesterday regarding Peter sending me a couple teabagged hoodies. I assure you that I received the 2009 pullover edition and the zippered 2010 model. I did not receive the 2011 Darpa Psycles Death Hoodie that Peter has created to celebrate Misfit Psycle's 6.75 year anniversary.

This is one of those items that if you have to ask what it's about then it's not for you. It is $140, but there is a reason it is so expensive.

They take this...

and do this...

to make this:

Order yours today because you can't order one tomorrow (seriously, today is the last day).

Now to the part where I tell you who my 2011 PMBAR partner is going to be.

That, my friends, was good wholesome fun.

Let me introduce you to my young squire, Zachery Avant.

This slightly post pubescent fellow is a local Charlottean, and has been mountain biking for most of his short adult life. I've never ridden with him on a social level, but we have met on the field of battle before.

That's him standing way down there on my left (your right) in the fifth spot of the 2009 ORAMM podium. He's the one wearing jorts.

Zach was only 23 then, but he is a whopping 25 years old now. I'll admit his youth disturbs me, but not because I think he is short on the experience he's going to need to go for a big win at PMBAR. I'm more worried about the fact that he probably won't get all my 80's pop culture references and movie quotes that I will spew all day as we ride around Pisgah.

I believe he has the desire to win and the legs to back it up.

I was not sure if he had any tattoos (a big plus in a partner), but at last night's team meeting he put my mind at ease by displaying the work he recently got done when he read my desired criteria for a partner.

Word to the wise: Don't google image search "hairy tramp stamp." You won't like what you see.

Zach rides with The Dude on epic road rides and mountain torture fests, and is therefore "Dude Approved." Also with Zach being a local we can share a car ride, talk about Charlotte politics, discuss our profound love for the former Charlotte Hornets, and bash the local hipster scene.

To all those that didn't make the cut, consider the fact that Elk has lots of body parts that haven't failed yet, so I may be looking for a new partner about this time next year.

Heal up Elk. There's always 2012.

Any wonder why his retina detached?


Jimmy Chuck Deane IV said...

That cello performance was simply AMAZING! You should hire them to play when you cross the finish at PMBAR!

Anonymous said...

I like the Lady & the Tramp postage stamp. Yeah, and what Jimmy said about the cellists.

Big E said...

You warned me not to look them up. But like the curiosity that killed the cat. I had to look, and now I want to scrub my eyes with household cleaning supplies. I will heed your warnings from now on....

Emily said...

I don't care how young he is, there is no excuse for podium jorts.

Anonymous said...

I think you made a good choice. That kids pretty dang tough and doesn't care about the status quo.

Jon Danger said...

Zac is a pussy too. you guys are screwed.