Friday, June 17


I need to go there.

No one is impressed over here:

Neither Sonya or Rebecca is even paying attention to what appears to be a casual midday semi-mini-chub. Sue was taking the photo, so maybe she was looking. Probably not.

Maybe it's an old guy thing. I saw this on Fatty's blog the other day:

Apparently it's not the size that matters, it's the presentation. I gotta work on that.

Honestly I did not have a semi-mini-chub in that photo. It was just a wrinkle in my shorts. I can't say the same for Elden. He just loves mini-vans that much.

It's my birthday today. I know this because I logged into facebook already this morning. I am 42 years old, which makes me twice as old as Missouri Miller and half as old as Gunnar Shogren. Speaking of old man Gunnar, if anyone has the movie Scars Don't Sweat, (Gunnar is facing the end of his racing career, and more importantly, the end of a way of life... attempts to capture this emotional struggle of a professional athlete facing the end of his career) please let me borrow it. I need to learn how to "retire" like a pro now that I am six years older than he was when they made the movie in 1998 (do the math). I looked for it on Netflix, but this was the closest thing available.

I'm sure it's pretty similar.

42 year old status report:

I shaved my head last week. I felt like my hair and I were in one of those relationships where we both knew it was over, but I wanted to be the one who ended it first.

I have a large bruise on the back of my right calf where the Superbeast landed on top of me after I wrecked on a rock that has always been in the trail, but my Alzheimer's addled brain had forgot about it.

The callous on the ball of my left foot is currently in the middle of it's annual summer heat split down to the red meat. I love summer.

After almost six weeks away from beer it only takes a few Torpedoes to sink this ship.

I'm going cane shopping this weekend.

I can't badmouth Gunnar anymore (today). I mean, the guy has been nominated for the Mountain Bike Hall of Fame. Go vote for him and complete his legacy. There was never a stronger mullet in the dirt peleton.

Somebody said that already?


Make this old guy's day by voting an even older guy into the MBHoF. Maybe someday it will be my turn (doubtful).

To celebrate my birthday I am going to work, covering for my boss while he goes off to watch motorized two-wheeled devices go BRAAAPP!!, and then I will come home, eat, bleed my brakes, and sleep.

Just what I wanted.

Happy Hopping Penis Day.


eastwood said...

Early bed time on your birthday... the perfect way to enter your twilight years

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Dicky!

dicky said...

One would only assume that means an early bed time. Since I will be bleeding my brakes I assure you that I will be awake till midnight. It's not that bleeding brakes is difficult, it's just that I'll be wasting hours looking for misplaced tools.

dougyfresh said...

happy birthday!

Shane S. said...

Happy Birth Day old man! I turned 42 in January. I don't think were going to get any faster, but hopefully we won't get any slower either! I do find I have to take more pisses during my rides. Now go eat birth day cake and get fat for ORAMM!!

Nick said...

I thought I was the only one who noticed Fatty's "excitement" in that picture, so this is comforting.

Greg D. said...

Happy Birthday Dick. I'll turn 40 in a couple of weeks. Shit.

CB2 said...

Birthday to Father's Day 72 hour extravaganza!

Emily said...

happy birthday Dicky!!!

John Miles said...

Happy Birthday Dicky!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday. You're license to drink is now old enough to drink. And you are the answer to life, the Universe and everything. So enjoy it.


TheMutt said...

Look at it this way, you're probably halfway to the grave now. After spending all that time looking at wangs though, you should probably be happy about that fact.

Tyler G from SLC said...

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, have birthday D--I--C---K----Y Happy birthday to you. Figured someone needed to sing you a damn bday song. I get to celebrate mine next weekend!! Have a good one!!

the original big ring said...

Richard, happiest of birthday wishes and hopping penis' day. It's actually a statutory holiday up here....on account of hopping penis', not your birthday.

the original big ring said...

Happiest of birthday wishes and hopping penis' day. Up here it's a statutory holiday on account of hopping penis', not your birthday.

the original big ring said...

You didn't have to post both of my comments . . . makes you look more popular than you REALLY are. I thought that I messed up on the first one, so did it again. Don't think that it's some sort of Canadian tradition to bestow birthday wishes (and hopping penis' day) twice.