Friday, July 8

Tour de Burg 2011: You ainn't gonna shit right for a week

I'm not gonna start a multi-day stage race report on a Friday. Just doesn't make sense in terms of continuity and my current attention span. After a full day of work on limited sleep and last night's shower, I'm still only operating at somewhere around 80% of normal capacity. I did manage to unload the car last night. I found Harlan's nutsack on the floor and consumed the contents. Finders keepers and all.

As always, le Tour de Burg has taken its toll on me. Sore legs, stiff neck, crusty eyes, cold sores... I'm pretty sure I still have the remains of at least one gnat lodged somewhere in my left eyelid. After riding over 300 miles and climbing more than 31,000 feet in six days, I'm not sure how else I should feel. I really should take a day off after the event to sleep and lick my wounds, but such is the life of the unprofessional cyclist.

As opposed to last year, when at the completion of the event I vowed to skip a year before I came back, I'm pretty sure I'll be back again in 2012. It's the people, the trails, the experience... it's all so worth it. Some of the people I see at the Tour, I only see at the Tour. These are not your typical garden variety racer boys and girls. They are hard people who like to ride bikes, make friends, and fuck dudes....

I guess you had to be there.

Just like kindergarten, everybody at le Tour de Burg is a winner.

Stage reports begin on Monday.


Blair said...

This blog is becoming much too offensive for me to enjoy any longer.

WV - naphroxe: "After watching that Santa butt sex video, I want to take 500mg of naphroxe with whisky to forget the last 3 minutes of my life"

Chris said...

I know you know this, but your gratuitous placement of sponsor products is second to none. Sure, we've got the foreground stuff, but you -- you sir -- excel at the backgrounds. Bruce is likely jumping out of his skin right now at this amazing photograph.

dicky said...

Regarding my product placement skills: I leave shit around and it ends up in my poor imagery. This topic needs much further discussion. Thanks for the blog fodder, Chris.

Tyler G said...

Must have been an epic event if there was some dude Fuckin. You have to be hard core to come out a winner in that kind of race. Just why my interest keeps on going up....What could be next?