I know there are better things to get upset about...

I can remember some time in the early to mid 90's when Rock Shox unveiled the Judy DHO (in magazines... Bike Rumor had yet to create the internet).

Pardon the fact that this is an image of a later generation as the original DHO had a canti stop on the brake arch.

Originally called the Diablo, but after Jamis had a hissy fit over already having a bike called the Diablo (which MBAction would censor the name out of the ads for), it was renamed the DHO. Anyways, it had a whopping four inches of travel and it had a dual crown because Rock Shox said they couldn't make a fork with that much travel and still use a single crown.

Shortly after that, Marzocchi made a 4" single crown fork.

Now it's 2011, and they have single crown fork with 160mm (6"+) of travel.

I can remember a time when people said disc brakes would never be used for XC racing since they were too heavy compared to V-brakes.

I remember a time not too long ago when people said that pro racers would never use 29'ers for so many lame reasons I can't count them.

Ummm... yeah.

I can also remember a time (2008) when Chris King said they would produce 21, 22, and 23 tooth cogs (quite relevant sizes considering the domination of 29'ers in the single speed realm).

Oh wait, that hasn't happened yet. Fuck.

So when Pink Bike posts up an article titled...

Burning Question: Will the 29er Replace the 26-inch-wheel downhill and all-mountain bike?


I cringe in parts of my body that aren't meant to cringe whatsoever.

I am not a staunch believer that 29'ers will be the only wheel size option for mountain biking eventually. It's just that most of the 450+ comments continue to perpetuate myths that have already been debunked.

Wanna argue about wheel strength?

Why argue when you can just post up a photo of a guy folding over a 29'er wheel?

I can't fight that logic. To my knowledge, that never happened with old fashion 26" wheels.

How about bitching about how 29'ers "sit higher"... despite having the similar bottom bracket heights. Sure, the front end can potentially sit 1.5" or more higher, but we are talking about downhill and all-mountain bikes right? Maybe they don't wanna give up the 2" risers and that gnar braaaappp moto look. Hell, only the most anal XC type riders I know on the planet complain about the high front ends on their XC rigs.

I guess there are three things that bother me the most. First off, sticking one's head in the sand and saying "never, never, never" doesn't stop progress, right Rock Shox?

Secondly, saying that companies are force feeding us 29'ers so they can sell more bikes is just wrong... for the most part. Let's face it, Specialized was only going to sit on their hands so long watching Fisher dealers sell out of stock halfway through the year for so long before they decided to join the game. CONSUMERS want what they want, and they'll buy it from whomever will sell it to them.

And lastly, there were quite a few comments around this line of thought:

"I think that yeah, maybe 29 inch wheels are easier to ride downhill with. But I didn't start riding downhill because I wanted it to be easy."

This from a group that considers 6" of travel the minimum and disc brakes a must. Don't want riding downhill to be easy? Take of the brakes, loose the squishy bits, ride downhill fixed with cyclocross tires... or better yet:

Gnar indeed.

There's more that bothers me, but before I forget to mention it...

Stevil has already covered the topic well, but seriously....

It pisses me off, both that the winners elected to not get the tats, and that the promoters/organizers didn't say "Fuck me? Fuck you. Go home."

Second place should have got the tats and the win (and the gold undies). It's not just the rules, it's the tradition. I'm not against pros participating in SSWC or SSCSWC because some of them actually enjoy the spirit of the race.

Adam Craig, eats shit trying to hold onto his beer during the race, wins, gets the tat. The race meant more to him than just an opportunity to get his sponsors into the limelight. It was also a good excuse for him to try the mustache look.

Last night I stood in my front yard and burned my Rapha scarf. No one in my neighborhood even noticed.

*sigh*

I do indeed "mess up compasses"

Saturday I squoze in one more ride that I didn't think would happen. Although Leanne had originally posted the ride back on the 15th, there was nothing but a very loose plan up until the night before. We resorted to phone calls to pull it all together. The Other White Rich D and I would be meeting Jon Nutsack and Leanne (aka Team Pussy Willow) and we would all be meeting up with Eric "PMBAR Honcho" Wever.

A few weeks ago, Leanne mocked the small piece of carpet I carry around in my car for changing purposes. This time, she brought game.

The original route was overly ambitious. Discussion were had in the parking lot. Eric "PMBAR Honcho" Wever was ready to throw punches if the route didn't meet his elevated standards.

photo cred: Leanne

Eventually we settled on a "make it up as we go along" plan that provided entertainment in spades. Win, win, win.

It's Pisgah, so even a simple not-so-epic ride has hiking involved.

We stopped at the overlook on Bennett to take the typical scenic photos. Jon did not have a camera, but he did pull out his imaginary Canon EOS Rebel T3i Digital SLR camera with a 55 mm - 250 mm Canon EF-S Telephoto zoom lens so he could not only feel like he was with the in crowd, he was better than them by a factor of ten.

We also took pictures of each other taking pictures. It was almost as awesome as it sounds but much less.

photo cred: Eric

I also enjoyed a snack of gel that was left over from the Trans-Sylvania Epic that I didn't have a chance to finish at the Double Dare.

photo cred: Leanne

Six month old gel. It tasted like the opposite of victory.

Leanne wrecked, and we all laughed heartily at her, not with her.

photo cred: Eric

The other time she wrecked, we weren't all around to enjoy the scene, but at least we can enjoy the afterglow.

photo cred: Leanne

Honest (politically correct) Native American, we had a great time. For the locals, we hit Bennett, Coontree, Sycamore, Thrift, and Black (and everything necessary to connect them with >>>>>'s)

photo cred: Eric

Apparently Chris Strout was out in the woods that day as well, but luckily we were able to avoid him. That in and of itself, was a major victory.

Three days of riding shared with nineteen different people. With so many different people on all three rides, I feel safe sharing this bit of conversation overheard on one of the days.

Rider #1: "How long does weed stay in your system?"

Rider #2: "Not long enough."

Burning calories and riding bikes

First off, if you are a local and want to travel to Pittsburgh this weekend for the Dirt Rag Punk Bike Enduro, get a hold of me so we can fantasize and plan and stuff.

And now we return to our regular scheduled program...

Four days off... what to do?

I'll hangdog onto other people's rides. That's what I'll do.

When a guy looks like this and his middle name is "Danger," you want to make sure you go attend his ride... or else.

It was announced as a pleasure pace ride, so I hopped on the fixed gear/cross tired Thylacine and decided to ride out to the trail to maximize caloric expenditure. Although it was chilly, I was glad I was on my bike at dawn and not here pushing up plastic daisies.

Oddly enough, the route to the trail was very similar to the route I started on when I tried (and failed) to ride to the beach on a Thanksgiving morning many years ago. So much nicer to not be riding in 20° temps at 4:00AM with 225 miles to go to my destination.

The group in the lot was not who I expected. Ilan and his crew were there for the ride, but when the expected party was not there on time, Bicycle Sport group headed out on the trail. I followed. That's the first time I've ridden mountain bikes with Ilan since the 90's... seriously.

I rode a little piece of trail, cut out early, got back to the lot, and waited for Zac et al to arrive. Once our group was assembled, the pleasure pace started.

Faster Mustache team meeting.

I only overcooked a corner and hit a tree once, and I did manage to clip a pedal multiple times without killing myself. Not too shabby for not having ridden the fixed gear off-road in a long time. Zac managed to hang quite well with his self-made urban cross death machine as well.

Celebrations back in the lot.

Kurt decided to join the Shirtless Club for Men.

And then I was left with the lonely ride home.

I forgot that it can be a bit taxing on the hamstrings riding brakeless off-road. I was sore as shit that night. At least I felt as if I earned the right to tax my gastrointestinal system later.

F me? FU 2.

The next day, I was in for a "grand tour" over at Poston. Too far to ride to from my house, I drove over and met up with some other folks I don't get to ride with very often.

And then we rode...

well, at least some of us rode.

We saw the sites, stopped and BS'ed,

photo cred: Tiles

rode to and fro, and stopped more to BS.

There's some climbing out at Poston, and leaving my 32X18 gear on my bike was probably not a smart idea. My hammy was screaming, but I had fun nevertheless. Once again, a beautiful day to be out on a bike amongst friends. These guys built these trails, and it's easy to see the source of their pride.

I also got to see the 1,000 lumen, $80, self contained, and lightweight Shart Lite™ (SL2K) back in the parking lot.

The NO GAS logo is not going to be an optional finish on the Shart Lite™. Here's what it looks like on the bars and when you know how to take a decent photo.

photo cred: Tiles

Two awesome days of Fall riding, and I ended up on the trail with fifteen different people.

Weird. Happy holiday indeed.

Would I get to pull the trifecta? Three rides in three days?

More tomorrow.

Giving Hanks

Count your many blessings...

Yesterday I headed out to the Backyard Trails. I rode over there alone, and as soon as I got on the trail it was obvious that the misty rain from the day before was still having a negative effect on the surface of the dirt ribbon. I decided against a full-on ride, and went over to the small step-up jump to get my balls up, so hopefully they would get bigger before I got here:

My projected landing zone

A seven to eight foot gap I jumped once while riding with Stabby, but since then haven't had the balls to repeat. After multiple roll-ups at speed, it is safe to say I still haven't done it since.

It's the last thing I was thinking about when I went to bed last night. Shit like this haunts me.

Defeated, I headed over to where we've been working the past few weeks. There was a line to a drop I was eyeballing that had a small ditch that needed some rock work in order for the rider to keep speed on the approach. After I finished with the rock bridge, I decided to try to take the lip off the chunk of cement that formed the "natural" drop. Armed with my simple BFR tool, I took a few two handed swings at the offending appendage, and I was making progress. I knew it was a dumb idea, and eventually what I thought would happen happened. I slipped and smashed my hand between the cement clump and the Big Fucking Rock I was swinging.

My "trail work" was done for the day. I hopped on my bike and headed to the Common Market to spend my emergency $5 bill on some medicine.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all the typical stuff most folks take for granted, health (my finger is not broken), family (my family is not broken), and the internet.

I am also thankful for the little things.

I am thankful that I have friends like these people.

I am thankful that I was able to file my SSWC08 bottle opener back into some useable form.

I am thankful that there always seems to be some kind of IPA on sale less than a mile from my house.

I am thankful that I have "friends" who would rather make fun of me than have sympathy for me (sympathy is for losers).

I am thankful that Steve Stickel finished another frame, which means mine has moved up the queue one notch.

I am thankful that I will get to spend the holidays with Poodle Doodle while she recovers from some severe neglect.

I am thankful for old riding gloves that will keep the camouflaged dog shit off my hands when I bag leaves for the next four days.

So much to be thankful for, you know?

Have a nice break from the action this weekend (unless you work in retail).

(un)SCIENTIFIC MATERIALS ANALYSIS

Many months ago I noticed I was having an unsettling issue within my day to day life. My trusty SSWC08 bottle opener was becoming difficult to use in an efficient manner.

Upon further investigation, I noticed that the beveled edge that lifts the bottle cap off the collar and over the lip had worn down from use, thus limiting it's ability to allow me to gain access to the orifice.

Diagram #1: The morphology of a beer bottle explained to avoid any confusion

The results of years of use and alcohol abuse.

Conclusion: Aluminum is a great lightweight material for those who want high performance but can deal with a limited useful lifespan. Granted, this bottle opener was the "go-to" that hung from a hook inches from the refrigerator door seeing more use over the past few years than any other openers in the house. Still disappointing. I expected more from this free hunk of aluminum.

I moved my Paragon titanium bottle opener to the hook in the kitchen once I realized the aluminum one's days were numbered.

This opener was gifted to me by a generous friend who was trying to get me to switch teams with him at the time. It has seen plenty of use and shows absolutely no signs of wear at all. It is everything that titanium has to offer; rust proof finish, comfortable compliance, magical aura, a feeling that you're better than everybody else. It's like sex in your hand.

Conclusion: Ti is great and will last a lifetime, but it's best when you can get someone to give it to you rather than paying full pop. I'm pretty sure it makes my beer taste better.

Hanging next to my computer on my workbench is this tooltastic beast, the BO-1:

Which has now been replaced in the Park Tool line up with the B0-2... whatever.

It's made of steel, and as we all know "steel is real." This thing is a workhorse, and being that it's in the bike room, it gets treated harshly yet still continues to perform. Simple, elegant, heavy, and romanticized to no end.

Conclusion: It does everything the ti version does at a third the price, it just weighs more and has a cool colorway. Don't expect to find this cheap piece of plastic coated stamped steel in your family dentist's bike room. He's got ti... probably a few different ones at that.

In all fairness, I wanted to test a bottle opener made out of crabon fibre. Lacking one, I looked around for the next best thing.

A piece of steer tube from my Niner crabon frok.

Luckily I went to college, so I know the lighter trick (and how to flick bottle caps across the room), so I was able to open a beer quite handily with this device.

When I finished opening the beer, my crabon opener was slightly damaged. I lost my grip as I went to put it back on the workbench, and it fell to the ground shattering into seven pieces. I'm pretty sure this is a warranty issue. For the few moments that it was working, I did feel like I was at the forefront of technology, and I had a slight feeling of superiority over those codgers who cling to their cherished, outdated titanium openers in a cult-like fashion.

Conclusion: Carbon fiber shows great amounts of wear and tear after only one use and is highly fragile. Fortunately China is producing it at such a prolific rate that its disposability is not a factor. Buy, use, break, warranty... repeat as often as necessary.

Overall Conclusion: Bike frames... errrr... ummmm... bottle openers should be made out of McDonald's french fries. They're lightweight, cheap, and the last forever.



For those of you without the means or connections to obtain the openers that were tested (or any others that might have been beschwaggened unto you), might I suggest 100 other ways to open a beer with things like lawn furniture, a CD, and your friend's head.







All facts stated in the above post are not true, except the ones that are, but there's only something like two of those.