Thursday, May 24

Behind an 8 Ball

I am not recovered. That will not happen. I've been fueling the fire, drinking beer, and prepping gear.

Instead of coming home to a parade on Sunday, I walked into the door and got busy. So much to be done in order to be ready for the Trans-Sylvania Epic which starts this Sunday.

Clean the victorious Dickstickel Meatplow V.6, remove the race Industry 9's, mount up and seal a 2.25 MAXXIS Ardent on the rear (no flats this year at the TSE), stick the wheels on the Misfit diSSent Brontoawesomeous Meatplow V.5, install a cyclometer device and new Z-cages...

Yes, I plan on riding the Misfit diSSent Brontoawesomeous Meatplow V.5 at the TSE. Why?

Gut feeling?
Sense of loyalty?
Sense of guilt?
Right tool for the job?
Death threats from Peter?


When I close my eyes and picture what I should ride, I picture myself on the Misfit. It probably doesn't help that I've seen lots of pictures of me at the TSE on the Misfit. I'm bringing the By:Stickel as well as another rigid Niner crabon frok in case I decide a stage such as Tussey Ridge might call for said machine. I haven't done a MTB stage race on a squishy fjork since the 2004 La Ruta, so maybe that's pride I feel fuckin' with me.

Pride only hurts. It never helps. You fight through that shit. Maybe Peter looks a little too much like Marsellus Wallace, what with the injury on his bald head, his pants around his ankles, and the gag ball in his mouth.

Next, I had to prepare my toolage. I stared at the pegboard long and hard trying to figure out what to take with me.

The bench grinder might be overkill.

All this needs to go into some kind of transport friendly carrying device, but I'm waiting for the folks at Backcountry Research to come through with a miracle. We shall see if I believe in miracles. Otherwise, it all gets tossed haphazardly in an onion sack. Which means I'll have to put the onions in the sugar bowl, and then put the sugar into the flower pot, and then I'll have to plant the flower into a milk bottle....

I hope they come through and save me all the hassle.

I am still not prepared. Some things have came in the door, and others are on the way.

I got a small box and a thin envelope yesterday. The box was big enough for a snow globe, but strangely enough, it contained two Honey Stinger Chocolate Waffles and a plethora of packing material.

Two waffles? They must be aware of the fact that I bought the meal package at the TSE and need little in the way of supplemental nutrition. I did not try one last night, as all I had around to wash it down with was left over PBR from the Pisgah Eleventy-One. I think a Honey Stinger Waffle deserves better than that, especially a chocolate one. I'll save them for a time when I have a proper, chocolate compatible beer.

The thin envelope was from Bike 29. I decided at the last minute on Sunday night that I needed a new chainring for the Misfit. I called George and off the top of his head he knew he had nary a Niner ring, but a plethora of E13's in a rainbow of colors. George understands the racer's anal needs for last minute shopping/shipping, and the ring arrived yesterday.

It's a shame it didn't work.

For some odd reason, the recesses for the bolt holes were so deep that my SS chainring bolts bottomed out before they were tight. Lacking the appropriate washers and having no time to get to a shop, I tried reversing the ring which compounded all centering issues.

Gonna be a "run what you brung" or "steal something out of Dejay's molester van when he isn't looking" kinda week.

Speaking of Dejay's van, I thought I had moved up a step on the podium when I saw that he had broke down on his way eastward.

Somehow the cosmic wave got it up and running, and his trip continued...

to Breckenridge for some legal blood doping at altitude. I guess Dejay felt he needed whatever edge he could get to beat me. Awful lotta cables on that single speed, don't you think?


I'll bet his other hand is between two pillows.

I'll be loading up tomorrow, so no blogging.

Next week, I have a feeling I'll be posting up some stuff here, but not why you would think. I might have some "business" to attend to that needs your attention.

You'll know when I know.

Come back Monday, for realz.


dougyfresh said...

You have too many pro gold towels packed. Knowing you, one will get you through the whole week.

Fuck that..

Throw the bench grinder in while you are at it. Your friends at Eagle will be thankful you are bringing them a complete bike shop.

It's Worthy!

Mike said...

Note to self: Not packing shit. Mooching off Dicky all week.

Wait until you see the group of mooching assholes I am bringing with me this year. Its like 9 increasingly whiny versions of me.

Peter J Keiller Esq. said...

You made the right (bike) choice. I've added bandwidth, bandaids and bandeau to support your endorsement.

I support nothing else you've done.
Plan to do.
Or are capable of.

Still. I'm drawn to you like a moustache on a bus stop poster.


pv said...

I just ordered a 29" wheeled bike. Dumping all my 26"r's.

I hope you're happy now.

Have fun storming the castle!

Moustache on a bus stop poster buwahahahaha!

EL SandPine said...

more sh@t to buy from BR because of you blog. NOw I gotta get me a "fondle" bag to carry my sh@t. I got something like that now but not big enough to fundle my iphone. I hope they have Dicky approve colors now.