Deep Thought

I almost went off the technological deep end the other day.

I had reasons.  I want(ed) a heart rate monitor... mostly to control my race starts and curb my over-enthusiasm.  I'm highly aware of the fact that I burn matches I don't have at very inopportune moments, and I was thinking that a bleeping blooping robot on my stem would tell me, "cool it now."


I couldn't actually find a bike robot that would play this song when I went over my lactate threshold... sads.  $500 and New Edition is still not an option?

Anyways, the product descriptions presented to me read like a Mexican restaurant menu.  Too many options and whatever I picked, I'd be looking at someone else's plate wishing I was eating some of that instead of what's in front of me.

The Garmin 25 only has (up to) 8 hours of battery power.  Forget hundies and PMBAR and all manner of stupid rides where people take "safety breaks" at the top of every descent.  Putting a truly capable GPS in my hands would be like giving me a downhill bike... a total waste.  I would make use of 7% of its full potential.  All the other options I looked at added more features and more bleeps and bloops and thingies I would never use.

Don't tell me to use my smart phone.  Not going to happen.  It's a $600 super computer that I need at work, so I'm not risking it on my handlebars.  I've been known to wreck and make bad decisions.

I even stopped at Bike Source the other night just so I could fondle a Garmin 25.  They pulled it out of the box, I got my greasy fingers all over it, and then they put it back in the box.  I found the strap annoying looking:

What's up with the gray flannel pattern on the front?  Why not black, or even better, flesh-tone...  I mean pasty cyclist flesh-tone.

They could even put a third nipple on the transmitter.

Anyways.

I put my old Cateye Strada back on my bike the other day... with the actual speed sensor and magnet so it's more than just a clock.  I had a reason to do it, I think.  I can't even remember why now.  Maybe I was bored.

What can I say?  I'm easily overwhelmed with technology.  I just wanted a heart rate monitor.  Not a super computer that borders on being sentient.

Shit.