Wednesday, September 2

How much water can I hold in my mouth?

Pointless to admit, but I am infatuated with this bike:

It's that time of year.  Eurobike and Interbike, or as I like to call it, "Why I hate this and why I would never want that and who's terrible idea was this?" season.

The Evil Bike's Insurgent gets me slightly chubbed up tho.  650b, because I've spent enough time on the internet to know that "the industry" only wants what's best for me.  They had me all the way... even using a threaded bottom bracket (because "the industry" is only trying to screw me with press fit... which is no way to be screwed... but must be in my best interest, right?).

So many things to like, but...

No bottle cage mount.

I know I'm the weenie in this situation, and this bike isn't being marketed to people like me.  People who hate packs.  People who nitpick every damn thing.  I just don't wear a pack.  I would ride this bike in the land of waterfalls.  Hydration is a bottle scoop and an iodine pill away.  Seems silly to carry 100oz on my back.  I might as well lug a bindlestiff full of Pop Tarts around the grocery store... you know, in case I get hungry while I'm in the Pop Tart aisle.

I probably would have found some other reason not to like it.  Hadn't even looked at the geometry numbers because this dream-liner is already sinking to the ocean floor of my consumer soul.

Of course, Evil has The Following.

Bottle cage mounts for days (as long as you only need one), but 29" wheels in a world where I was told they don't work anymore and that bottom bracket?  PF92?  Truly evil, Evil.

And so it goes.  Look at a new bike, go down the checklist, and eventually something will make me sad.

Sour grapes I don't buy are much cheaper than any grape that I do, so...

Besides... gears.  There are cheaper ways to end up hating them again.  Much cheaper.  Less effort.

But still effort tho.  I'm running short on that right now.


Anonymous said...

Seems silly to carry 100oz on my back. I might as well lug a bindlestiff full of Pop Tarts around the grocery store... you know, in case I get hungry while I'm in the Pop Tart aisle.....

BEST JUSTIFICATION EVER. Thanks for making me Guffaw out loud yet again.
This is why I look forward to all your posts.
And thanks for teaching me the proper term that for that luggage thing on the stick.
This blog is not just humorous, but enlightening.

And after yesterday's post about working on your "core", I don't think anyone has ever managed to make me appreciate the value of $2 quite like that before.

Doug Mayer said...

Ooh bouncy bikes :-) The Giant Trance Advanced 1 is hot fire and that new Fox 34 whoo doggie! but PF-xx shenanigans present. Felt like more than a 5" bike.

Seen the new Transition Patrol Carbon? Enduro(TM) approved, threaded BB, bottle cage in front triangle, 6" of fun between your legs. It's a horst link but the platform on a modern shock is so good that I wouldn't hesitate. No Scout (5") carbon yet but probably coming. Also, they're a company with a sense of humor.

New XT 1x11 is sooo good; nearly as good as singlespeed. For real.

dicky said...

XT 1X11 would be the only acceptable option for me... yet I haven't seen a whole lot (any?) bikes spec'ed with it yet. Sads.

Anonymous said...

pop tarts are tasty...

dual suspension bikes suck... owned many. No more... they squeak like a little dog after mud gets in its orphises.

Another stupid thing - is electronic shifters... wtf ... are people that stupiid? its gonna break, keep it simple stuppiiid.

Anonymous said...

Can get M8000 for under $300 on the intranets. Slap onto one of the current rigs, play gears for a bit. Cheaper than the alternative.

Jon Tomas said...

Evil Bike is the best bicycle I have ever known. I want to have one. this is a big dream in my life.