Mass Turd Plan

I'm sure there are those of you that are accustomed to the blerhg cycle here.  You're probably thinking it's time for me to buy a geared bike...

again...

and then end up semi-meh about it...

again.

And then sell it...

again.

I can't say that recent advancements in shifty bits don't have me thinking thinky thoughts.  SRAM AXS is dope AF.  The idea of losing a cable or two is enticing.  I played with Jason's new electro-bits in Pisgah the other day and was entranced.  Pretty sure the people who are all "I don't want batteries on my bike because expense/reliability/complexity" are the same people who wanted us to stick with cable actuated brakes and inner tubes.   It's all so... amazing, but what kinda bike would I want them to be mounted to (that I might keep) so they could be useful?

Dunno.

Then there's the new Shimano GRX shifty bits.  I was a noodle bar rider long before I ever owned a mountain bike.  The romance of days gone by on empty country roads and adventure biking down power line cuts gives me the member berries.  I'm enthralled with the total integration of the system, the ability to have the brifter-activated drooper, the sub brake levers up where my hands would spend their lollygagging moments, 1X drive train, hydro dics breaks...

Of course, when I think about which bike all this goes on, I become more at a loss.  Knowing that the shifty bits might need to go at some point, so not only does it need to be droopable, it needs to be single speedable too.  It just makes me say the hell with it all and ride my single speed MTB wherever and whenever such urges hit me (rarely).

New bike fever is real tho.  Mebbe.  The Vassago Meatplow V.8 is everything I needed it to be (and would take AXS), and the Vertigo Meatplow V.7 is still my all-time favorite bike as it sits.

The only room I have for improvement (from a variety standpoint) would be a new work bike to replace the Fastest Bike in the World.

My current frame is too big for me, but since I'm running flat bars, mebbe not.  No water bottle mounts for extended adventures.  No tires bigger than 23mm, because... tarck bike.  The positioning is limited with the 1" quill stem (with non-removable face plate), and I would love less drop from the saddle to the bars, but fixing that?  It gets complicated.  Much money could be thrown away experimenting with possible setups.  My rear Suntour hub likes to randomly tighten up for no known reason, only letting me subtly know with a groan when it's sad.  My front hub is some lower end Campagnola that has impossible-to-reach-with-a-common-thickness-cone-wrench cones.  Fender options are poop due to clearances.
Yeth, I'm complaining the my 1992 tarck bike that was designed to race on an oval is not ideal for my job and commute.

There is this thing out there tho that makes my pants yahbies all tingly when I look at it:

The Squid Bikes So EZ. A "Tracklocross" frame as it's referred to in the now.

I just called it my spare parts dumb bike ten years ago.

In the plus column for the SO EZ:

* I can finally use the stainless steel, limited edition Cane Creek 110 1 1/8" (with my name on it)

* I've got a few bars and stems I can monkey with to get my positioning higher AND I can use headset spacers to boot.

* Bottle mounts.

* I would imagine some clearance for fenders and most definitely more comfortable 28mm tires.

* It's new and excite.

In the minus column:

* That rear hub.  So few options and I can't find one that uses tarck nuts.  Mebbe 6mm fixing bolts are fine, but I like nuts.

* Speaking of hubs, I'd wanna throw down for decent wheels.  Pooh wheels make for a pooh bike. This I know.  More money out the window.

* The stock frame that sells for $666 is black.

You can get all kinds of their crazy paint jobs (including just asking to be surprised) for $800.  Problem being, I might be cheap... it is a work bike that's gonna be outside nine hours a day, five days a week getting banged around locking it up.  If I love the bike tho, I might regret not getting something stimulating if I'm still riding it ten years from now.  Or I spend an extra $134 on a pretty paint job, not gel with the bike, and then regrets.

Back to minuses...

* I have no idea if I'll like the geometry.  All I know is that I like the way my tarck bike handles, and this is not a tarck bike.

* I'd either have to borrow some parts off my tarck bike to build it (leaving a 1992 Cannondale tarck frame/fork collecting dust in the corner) or buy some new bits.  If I leave it built, well then I have one more bike to contend with hanging on a wall... and wondering what purpose it serves.

* I'm talking about a work bike.  I haven't built up a new frame (from scratch) since I had a cheap, mail order, SuperGo Access aluminum mountain bike frame in the early '90s.  Every other work bike was my first real mountain bike converted to street use and a DeBernardi that I bought (very) used.  The latter going from noodle shifty bike, to flat bar commuter single speed, to fixed, and then replaced with the Cannondale back in... 2006?  Mebbe?

So, for this bike, I'd be dropping money, real money, Amigo money...

Which, for a guy who's been on the same bike for almost fifteen years carrying a bag that's ten years old...

I dunno.

I've built the bike countless times in my head.  I thought about it when I woke up in the middle of the night more than once.   I know my left shoulder would probably welcome the more comfortable position.

Probably.