Thursday, August 4

In Ovate

The elliptical ring.  Been there.  Done that.  Why go down this bunny hole again?

Dunno.  Curiosity?  Boredom?  The desire to tinker?  Fuck with shit, as a friend once deemed it.


Just tossing that in there because if you mention elliptical rings, some old guy that wants to prove that he's been around the block has to say, "Didn't we already have enough of that stupidity with Biopace?"

To which I answer, "no."

Because I owned at least one mountain bike and one road bike plagued with this type of drive train.  So, I guess I haven't had enough with oval rings... yet.

In case you're not old enough to remember, shitty mountain bike full suspension designs that bobbed while pedaling suffered from something that people called "Biopacing," a term
 that none too politely referred to the aforementioned advance in pedaling efficiency that functioned like a cold turd.  That's how bad it was.

The newer generation of oval rings seems to make some sense.  At least the parts that I can comprehend.   Granted, most of the science out there comes from the ring manufacturers, which is like getting crime stats from the RNC (or insert some falsehood stated at the DNC here).

Oval ring profiles (like crime statistics) can be greatly over-exaggerated to create fear amongst the (old white) peoples.

Want to listen to some folks smarter than I blather on and on about elliptical rings?  Here's not just one, but two podcasts over on Mountain Bike Radio's Engineer's Corner to fill your ears and the empty space between them.  The first one is a conversation between MBR's Ben and Phil the Engineer, and the other one is Ben (again) and Brendan from Wolf Tooth (insert more RNC/DNC commentary here).

Short/long of it (or the oval of it), my 30 tooth should feel like a 32 when I'm pulling the chain with the widest part of the oval at the top and a 28 when the narrowest section is at the top.  That means in one revolution, you go 32, 28, 32, 28.  So, like shifting four times per revolution... in single speed terms, like jumping up one tooth, down one tooth, up one tooth, down one tooth in the rear (about) with smooth infinite mini-shifts through the entire range.  That's a lot of SPR (shifts per revolution).

I should feel that, right?

I've only got one ride on the ring so far.  Did I notice anything?

Yeth.  I noticed that I was tired and thought I might vomit or shit myself.  Not the ring's fault, I imagine.  I was Variable #2.

Helping to invalidate the test, I put a suspension fjork (variable #3) on my bike hours before the ride instead of the rigid crabon frok that's been on there for... a year?  Dunno.  The best way to ruin an experiment like this is to change more than one variable at a time.  Not to mention, I have absolutely zero data points to compare anything because I don't really do "data."

So, I'm going by feel.

Which is terrible for someone like me.  For example, if I'm driving a car, I could be excreting buckets of sweat before my passenger might request some air conditioning.

"Oh, I guess it is hot.  I didn't really feel it."

I'm pretty good at observing things with my eyes.  I can spot broken/bent/loose spokes on other people's bikes like nobody's business (that would be a trbl business BTW).  I see all kinds of things that are out of sort, but when it comes to feeling things?

I lack the ability to feel.

Shimano never mentioned that the computer they went with to design Biopace was a product of Cyberdyne Systems, Skynet's first attempt at wiping out the human race with technology.

I'm just going to leave the ring on there for the time being.  Not a lifestyle-altering amount of money was spent on the new ring, and since it does serve to keep the miles off the OG Race Face ring, it's not really a waste even if I end up feeling "meh" about the whole thing.

Maybe my feelings will start working in the next month or two, and I'll have my eureka moment.  If not, fine.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that.

Although, something ventured and nothing gained would suck, I guess.

Either way, even if it doesn't work, I don't mind actively sticking things in the "no column" because I actually tried them.  I ate lentils the other day and liked them, and I swear I didn't like them the last time I put them in my mouth part.

So, there's that.

Maybe if I put some Bruschetta and feta cheese on the ring, I might like it.  Worked for the lentils.


Anonymous said...

why don't all you libtards pack-up and move to a socialist country already. Fuck off.

dicky said...

anon, you musta missed my obvious disappoint with both parties.

FWIW: When someone tells me how much this country sucks, I ask them where things are better.

Thanks for all the positive feedback tho.

Mark said...

"Libtard" When I hear that word, all i can picture is an early teen extroverted endomorph in a tank top saying it with chocolate pudding smeared on his face...but then I grew up watching too many John Waters and John Hughes movies through my "formative years" in the late 1980s. Thanks for the flashback.

Anonymous said...

did you end up shtting yourself? I almost did last day after riding all day (long mtb ride 3hrs then road ride for 2hours plus 30 minute hike)... ate too much sushi (raw frozen fish)... thought I had to fart, ended up being a wet sht...

I still have two road bikes (bianchi) that have biopace rings. I went to an old bike shops months back and picked up 10 biopace rings for about 10 bucks, they just wanted to get rid of them. I didn't mind them. Never sht my pants over them ... probably cause I was too constipated pedalling my ass off :)

dicky said...

Fortunately, I did not shit myself on the ride.

47 years old and still a decent amount of sphincter control.

Brian said...

dude musta thought he was on your politico parenting blerg - this is precisely why i am writing in a fuggin hand up glove to be the next potus - poundsignhandulglovesixteenorsomethinlikethat - poundsignmerica

ernernermers said...

Wow, angry much anonymouse?

Takes a real mofo to go on someone's blog and leave a meaningless opinionated comment...