Wednesday, November 30

Toe Spirit. What? Let's hear it.

So, yeah.  My four day weekend went pretty well... until 12:45AM or so Monday morning.

This story starts with a woodpecker.

We had issues with a woodpecker making holes in the side of our house last year.  Our landlord bought the Pecker Wrecker 2000 to scare it away.  It makes woodpecker distress calls as well as the tweets, warbles, and caws made by hungry birds of prey.  It essentially worked, but we ended up with a giant hawk hanging out in our backyard.  Pretty to look at tho.

The woodpecker came back a couple months ago. We broke out the Pecker Wrecker 2000 again, but this time he has not been deterred.  The hawk is back again as well.  This big bird has a tendency to eat his other prey in the tall trees behind our house.  He's a picky eater tho, and tosses his scraps down to the ground below.

Sizemore likes to discover and then eat these nasty bits.

And so it came to be that Sizmore had a "bowel emergency" around 11:00PM from eating too many dead squirrel bits.  And then another one at 12:45AM.  Since he's got no eyes in his head part, he needs carried down the internal house stairs and the back deck stairs... which are not very well illuminated.

As I reached the deck stairs, he started really wiggling, I assume because his ass was going to explode.  Distracted, I didn't notice that I had one more stair to go when I thought I was on the sidewalk.  I came down with my weight on my big toe, and it folded nicely under our combined girthiness.

This is about 17 hours afterwards.

Mang.  I was really looking forward to the Faster Mustache/Loose Nuts: Wheels to the Farm race this weekend.

The last time this race happened was when I was suffering from some prolonged back issues that I was having a hard time finding relief from despite my best efforts to ignore them.  Still, I ended up doing rather well with a third overall.

Although my back kept me from putting in a solid effort in the first few heats, as the day dragged on, my old man legs came into play.  I felt like I coulda done so much better, but... meh.  Stupid back.

So glad I waited until a week or two later to find active, real solutions to my back problems.

This toe thing puts a kink in the plan for sure.  Even if I wanted to bail on going this weekend, I injured myself a day too late to cancel my Airbnb reservation.  I've got Friday scheduled off from work so we (Billy Nye and Chris "Ride" Daily) can hit some new singletrack at the Chicopee Woods Mountain Bike Park.  I'm not so sure how much I'll be able to do come in two more days.

Ummm... back to this past Monday morning.  After I folded my toe in half, I waited for Sizemore to blow ass, and then I carried him back up to our bed.  I got prone and stayed pissed off at my stupidity.  The pain was enough to keep me awake for awhile.  Back downstairs, grab an ice pack, situate myself... anger myself to sleep.

Wake up.  Still pissed at my stupidity.  Wait till the last minute to get ready for work, find out that my foot doesn't fit in my normal shoes very well.  Return to my bike room trying on shoes until I find the best fit and go to work late.  Spend the day hobbling about and bemoaning mine own dumbness.  Eventually figure out a strange hopping maneuver for dismounting my tarck bike.  Walk about gingerly.

Anyways, not sure how things are going to pan out for the WtF weekend.  Yesterday was better than Monday, but this morning is worse than last night.  No blerhg until I get back from Atlanta, as I will spend all my spare time between now and Friday spirit coaching my big toe.


Anonymous said...

Advocat sez:

Chicopee is fun - at the top of Flying Squirrel go right, counterclockwise, for fun downhill flow. Copperhead - rated more difficult is kind-a "meh". Coyote Trail - across the road - is good old school stuff. Buy a beer for those who make the stream crossing and then the climb out - no touch.

Anonymous said...

"As I reached the deck stairs, he started really wiggling, I assume because his ass was going to explode."


"After I folded my toe in half, I waited for Sizemore to blow ass, and then I carried him back up to our bed."

Deathless prose that draws me like a moth to flame or witnessing a train wreck.

Ari said...

Shimano SPD sandals for toe liberation and healing.

dicky said...


I have them, but the bottom strap came across the ouchy portion of the toe.

Pauly said...

Off topic---Didn't you pick up the FBITW in November of 2006? What about a 10 year review/tribute? It asks for so little...

dicky said...

How can anyone remember that?

Anonymous said...

haha, my husky/chow mix craps on the floor if I feed her chicken... esp if its a few days old. She loves killing squirrels and chasing deer. I'm hoping one day during a mtb ride we'll come home with a turkey.

Anonymous said...

Ouch Pouch + orajel

Ryan said...

Hey after you ride chic you should check out the new brewery right down the road. Its called LNB and isn't half bad. FYI the best stuff at chic is the outer loop once you get through all the inner stuff.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the toe, but thanks for sacrificing to keep that cool little dog of yours happy. On another note, whatever happened to your coach, Mike Piazza? Is he still on the team? What's he been doing with himself?

dicky said...

Mike still patiently sits on my computer bench waiting for me to write creatively again.

Anonymous said...

Happy to hear he's still with us. Let Mike be your muse.