Moab... or ummmm... Grand Junction... because why not? Day Four... or would it be One?

So, yeth.  We bailed on Moab.  A painfully early alarm and we were on our way to Grand Junction.  I had asked the Facebook experts what trails we should definitely see, came up with a route the night before, presented it to Bill Nye (with no idea how long the ride would be or how much elevation we'd have to gain), and he approved the squiggly lines.

Up the Tabeguache Trail to the Ribbon...

Some people shuttle to here, but whatever.

Bill Nye loves doing road climbs on a Minion DH tire and a bike with 10,000mm of travel.

The trail starts on an insanely steep, long slab that you can see across the valley as you approach it on the road from miles away.  You can go a million miles an hour down it if you let off the brakes.

Bill Nye showing what it would look like if you let off the brakes (but not really).

This is the reality:

If you don't know where you're going, you gotta have your head part outta your asshole part, lest ye want to walk back up the slab looking for where the trail actually went as you careened down the rock face at the potentially blistering pace.

As much as I despise having a computer on the bike 95% of the time, it was nice following the bread crumbs to where the trail was more obvious.

Bill Nye was still feeling frisky on day four.

I will never not stop and take a picture of a dick-shaped rock formation.

Like a circus monkey, that boy.  Always keeping me entertained.

Pretty sure I'm popping outta some notch on Free Lunch.

Bill Nye hucking his meat off one of the drops on Free Lunch...

and testing his (front) fork.

The return trip down Tabeguache, allowing my meat to huck itself on my typical drop to nothing all that dramatic.

I was on the struggle bus once we hit Holy Cross.  It came highly recommended, but I couldn't dig it.  Mebbe because I was running outta water.  Mebbe the huge climb to The Ribbon took that chunk of my soul that was required to truly enjoy Holy Cross.  

Dunno.

And we still had miles to go to get back to the car.  Perhaps it was the dread of the 29 hour drive ahead and the awkward timing and sleep schedule we'd have to keep in order to make our arrival into Charlotte work out logistically?

Speaking of logistics...

I'd been checking my email rather fervently ever since I told Rodeo Adventure Labs I'd be passing within miles of their headquarters to see if they'd responded yet.  I mean, it would only make sense that the bike I'd won back in March would just happen to be miraculously here, built and ready for me to just scoop up, right?

We get back to the van and prepare to load up and make our way back to Charlotte... check my email...

"Well how's this for timing?"

"Are you still coming through town tomorrow?"

Shit.  Poop.  Shit.

It's 2:something o'clock and we're planning on driving into the night to stay somewhere in Kansas and by the time we get into Denver today it's gonna be almost 7:00PM... past the time they're open.

A quick phone call...

"Lemme check on something... "

One of their employees was gonna be around that late, so they said swing on by, so we totally did.

Mebbe ten or fifteen minutes out of our way and the next thing you know the bike I've been starving for ever since "free time" has been ever so plentiful in my life since March...

It rode home all safe and sound in the back of the van.

All in all, an amazeball trip with a hellacool ending, aside from the thirty hour drive and some more drooling on the pillow kinda sleeps.

I'm back now tho, so now what?

Well, poop.  I guess I'll do the other Whole Enchilada.

It's gonna be wet and stupid and hard and bike-damaging and... I dunno?  Fun?  This is a pure time trial, start when you feel like it, self-supported, and no celebratory podiums or parties or what have you.

But I don't wanna close out 2020 with a DNF at the Shenandoah Mountain 100.  Also, I already paid for doggie daycare while Pie was outta town, so without any other real options for "fun" this weekend (the mountains are gonna get dumped on)...

In the words of Bluto Blutarsky, " *belch* Why not?"