Our journey to the final stage was beautiful. Who knew what a web of
trails and whatnot they had down there in South Carolina? Everyone?
Some not so much trails tho:
Pop out in some neighborhood so we can fill our bottles at an outdoor dog wash station.
Back
into the woods and we find ourselves at some crazy jump line built by
twelve year olds (mebbe this happened before I got canine lupus from my
water bottle?)
This
little shredder kept us entertained. While I wasn't up for trying the
double that you had to duck into a ditch and under a fallen tree to hit,
I found a steep hillside reminiscent to the old Devil's Drop at Poplar
Tent that I had to go hit at least once. I rolled down it, and then the
little shredder decided he needed to give me some advice.
"You gotta let off the brakes."
After giving him the finger (behind his back), I said "C'mon, son. Follow me."
Ripped
back to the top of the hill and went full send down the hillside to
discover there's about zero rollout before you find yourself flying down
the back and into the creek.
S.T.I.L. I swear.
Mebbe Bryan's picture is better but he has fat fingers
Thank you, Shimano, for making good dicks breaks.
And now on to the final stage.
Only
I can screw this up now. Kesean and the cross guy have been up in the
points enough to make it so I can't stop being a tryer. That and the
fact that the scoring system was this random chip thing that I couldn't
make sense out of at all. I think the first one I got was green and had "dq"
written on it. At one point, someone handed me some chips that he said I
was supposed to get for winning a couple stages earlier that I had no
idea I'd not got already. Then there's random chips for wheelies and
jumps and general strange things to the point that I'm either winning at
this point or I'm totally not.
Hmmm...
Stage Five
Everyone
is lining up and tossing packs in the dirt. I throw off my pack, then
pitch my bottles... and after a few moments to consider it... my shirt.
It only takes a hot minute before the peloton joins in and it's a
shirtless race.
Kesean prescient enough to capture the moment.
We'd gotten a sorta incomplete course preview rolling into the start...
something bridges but don't take them... or do(?), a pump house... one lap?
We
go off and I'm just out front at the start. Left at the pump house
(what's a pump house?), out into the field... start climbing up.
There's
a guy just standing there pointing to my left. Doesn't feel correct,
but I'm the guinea pig here... so I go left and down a drainage instead
of a trail. A few riders follow me and we scramble to get back to
wherever it was we needed to be.
And then we pop out to a road
and there is no one there. Apparently, the marshal got confused with
his lefts and rights and sent us totally the wrong way. So here we are
in this neighborhood none of us has ever seen... but then I see an
outdoor St Patrick's Day party that we'd passed on the way to the
trail... so mebbe we're going the right way (we're totally not).
Since
I knew how to at least get back to where we started from where the
party was, I led the shirtless pack past the house of revelers... which
I'm guessing this was not something they were planning on seeing today.
Back into the woods and on the course... bridge one (don't take
it?)... bridge two (go through the creek?)...
and to the final creek
crossing with no bridge that we were told would take a certain level of
commitment and upon seeing it, a certain level of being Jeff Lenosky...
and outta the woods for a final first place with Kesean taking another
second.
From there, head back to town... stop for a beer... see
my first "real" mountain bike (my third if you count a Giant Sedona and a
Nashbar elevated stay nightmare)...
And then over to Hobo's for the awards and beer out on the lawn.
Even
though I "won" four outta five stages, I still didn't know if this was
going to come down to some kinda chip thing... and then it didn't and I
won an award... and then there was a chip thing... and I won a goblet...
and I'm pretty sure I accidentally traded my first award for a pint of
beer... but I still retained the goblet.
Went on the mantle as soon as I got home, but mebbe I'll eat chili or oatmeal outta it at some point.
I
sure do love these pointless events. I wish there were more of them,
but being that I helped put on six of them in the past, I realize
they're almost harder than putting on a "legit" event. It's one of the
best ways to spend the day in the woods riding around with friends there
is. Thanks to those guys and gals who put in all the hard work, and I
hope they squeeze out a few more before they eventually burn out.
R.I.P. Dirt Rag Punk Bike Enduro, Tour duh Charlotte, Wheels to the Farm, and Definitely Not Tour duh Charlotte (Tour duh Todd).
VIVA TRIPLE DIP.
Most photos cred: Mary Kaye Zugelder
Tuesday, March 16
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1 comment:
A fine 'race' report, thank you
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