Monday, May 10

Quality Content Warning

Well, sign up for the Trans-Sylvania Epic with only three weeks notice, and I give myself less time to hamstring my ability to make great bike race...

Less time.  Not "no time."

About five miles into a thirty something mile ride in DuPont on Saturday, I decided to attempt a creek crossing on the Briery Fork trail.  The water got to hub deep, and I was about a pedal stroke away from reaching the other side... when the rear wheel got bogged down in some deep sand.  The bike pretty much came to a stop, so I put everything into getting the left pedal down from twelve o'clock... when something in my lower back said, "Hey, old man.  Stop that."

Suffice to say, the old man did not, and while I may have made it across the creek, I tweaked something in my back.  I finished the ride, went home, beer, copious amounts of Tiger Balm, ibuprofen, and a heating pad.  Looks like I'm going to have to take it easy for a bit.

Which is not a bad thing because...

I hadn't given it much thought, but over a week ago, I kinda smashed my left nut pretty hard.  If my saddle was represented by normal time Jean-Claude Van Damme and my left nut was time-traveling Time Cop Jean-Claude Van Damme, they essentially tried to occupy the same space thus creating a paradox of pain.

BTW: If you jumped off the JCVD train after he stopped headlining movies, you really need to catch up on Jean-Claude Van Johnson, the series.

Anyways, back to my nut.

I'd kinda forgotten all about the injury, although things didn't feel exactly right down there the following week, sorta culminating in me waking up Friday night at around 1:00AM in some discomfort and making the automatic paranoid hypochondriac'ish leap to ball cancer.  I wanted to break out my phone and start googling, but I didn't wanna raise any suspicion in the house.  So I stayed awake for awhile thinking about chemo and radiation and Lance Armstrong and living with one ball the rest of my life... and then fell asleep and dreamed about all the same things.

When I finally got outta bed at 6:00AM, I remembered my accident all those days ago, got to some googling, and drew a much more sane conclusion.

Have you ever iced your balls?

I now can say that I have.

TSE in two weeks (Tran-Sylvania Epic not testicular self exam). 

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Flip & Sip?