PMBAR '22: The Post-Dumbling

Where to start?

How much does a lack of comprehension cost one at PMBAR?

Let it be known that I used to take great pride in being the first one done with a test or such things in school.  I mighta got a 97% when I coulda got 100%, but I was the first one to get it back to the teacher's desk, strutting up to the front of the classroom in my Pony's making sure everyone knows who's the boss.  An A is an A, and why not be the first A?

As I've gotten older and my attention span has withered, my reading comprehension certainly hasn't improved.  Add to that the fact that I can no longer read the passport over and over again as I climb up Black thanks to my eyeballs going to shit, so I really, really should s-l-o-w d-o-w-n.

But I don't.  As my friend Stabby once said, "Always be in a hurry so you'll be good at being in a hurry when you have to be in a hurry."  He mighta been talking about sex.  Dunno.

Anyhoo, since the trail we shoulda took was one we did last year at PMBAR (with the same route leading to it), it didn't take me too long to figure out that we were twenty five minutes faster to the same point than taking my dumb route (to find a CP that wasn't where I thought it was).  In the end, we finished thirty five minutes behind first place.  What does that mean?

Would our overall pace had been higher without the extra five to six Pisgah miles?

If so, had we caught up to Joice's team, would we have "raced" or been demoralized by the thought of "racing?"

Perhaps our pleasant quitting pace put us in an unfamiliar world of riding within our limits, thus saving us from a potential meltdown?

Thursday morning quarterbacking ain't worth it.  It is what it is... as much as it pains me to know that twenty five minutes faster woulda put us in the top ten overall.

Dammit.  I'm gonna have to slow down a bit with the map/passport thing next year.  That said, it can be sooooooooo hard to head up Black Mountain on single speeds at PMBAR.  You can only turn over a 32 X 20 so slow, and getting around traffic burns 1.5 more matches than trying to sit in.  

Side note: My 19th PMBAR, 17th time on a rigid single speed.  DO I quit at 20 total or 20 total on rigid or never quit ever?  If Watts keeps saying "yeth," I may never know when to stop.

That clanking noise that I had ALL FUCKING DAY LONG?

I literally did most of my strapping of things to my bike that morning, so I wanted to believe that some bit of it was the cause.  I squarshed my top pipe purse in my hand while riding, moved some items around inside it, held onto my number plate, tightened my light that I didn't need, fondled my thru-skewers... water bottle cages, plugger mount, saddle strap... drooper?  I just couldn't put a finger on it.

I lived through the day, and had too much beer to contend with it that night.  When I woke up the next day, I had to know.  Start taking off PMBAR needed bits one by one... what changes have I made since Moab Rocks when my bike was quiet?

Oh.  Duh.

Here's how the Vertigo Meatplow V.7 was set up last year:

What's different from last year?

Just this pink top cap.

Near as I can tell, my little "invention" that I dubbed the Stem Boner™ (combined with the pink top cap) was the problem. 

The Stem Boner™ in its early prepubescent days, back in 2014 when my computer was just a time piece and the bottle opener only served to protect it in a crash.

I have a couple spacers that I add on top of the stem with the mount for a Wahoo to make a more stable place to strap my top pipe purse.  I also use a small section of steer tube to keep it all in place... and I'm guess the bottom of the pink top cap had a different bottom profile than whatever I had on there before (it wasn't pink), and that allowed for the chunk of aluminum to bounce about and clank clank clank.

So my life and/or teeth were never at risk, but I did have the pleasure of dealing with the fears all day long.

Which was nice.  When it was over.

Just like PMBAR.

Which is over.

Till next year.

And one more thing...

PMBAR is never over until it's over... which it is now... but it wasn't two hours and thirty eight minutes after the start when I didn't take that turn down Laurel Creek.  I need to member that... and also practice my reading skills.