Wednesday, February 8

Winter Shart Tarck '23: Race Three

I said The Pie would be outta town and that would impact me in one manner or another before this past week's Winter Shart Tarck race.  I rely heavily upon her for daily mental stimulation, so take her outta the picture, and my brain starts to fire haphazardly.  

I've exposed myself to too much ignorance over the past week, and I can't believe that this dumb has such a large megaphone.  I would've never consider myself qualified enough to be "enacting policy" on a national level, but it does seem that we could all benefit as a whole from teaching mandatory courses on critical thinking and mebbe also empathy.   That and bring back Shop and Home Ec, and this time make it less about how to cook a "meal" and put some of the Ec(onomics) back in it by teaching kids about credit, loans, taxes, retirement and mebbe back off the part where you learn all the types of cheeses.

I mean, just like that, everyone became a balloon warfare expert.

"balloon scoopers"  People listen to this human.

These are the things I think about when I'm left unsupervised.  The depths of my navel are infinite.

I didn't put in much thought about making great bike race tho.  Outside of working and shuttling Boppit to/from doggie daycare, I Zwifted some, drank beer, and watched tank movies with said dog.  I did put a taller gear on the Vertigo Meatplow V.7, because... burrito?  Dunno.  Gotta try something, and it's too late to get a whole lot fitter.  

Saturday morning, I did some trail work, all the while wondering why I'm shoveling in the woods when I have a sinkhole in my backyard that could also use some shovel attention.  So whether I shoulda I or shouldn't have, I did that when I got home, the sinkhole essentially being a scab that I've been really wanting to pick at.

Wake up Sunday morning and start looking through the cupboards for my vim and also my vigor.  Mebbe it's behind the cans of Bumble Bee tuna or perhaps the Christmas gift basket sausage I still haven't figured out what to do with.  Nope.

The previous week, I did a lot of the right things and very few of the wrong things.  Just like swapping gears without a good reason, I decided to not do what I did last week, because doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results... makes you not Einstein but does not necessarily keeps you from holding office.

I line up on the correct side of the start for the pole position which I earned by being the first guy to stop warming up and not by any other merit.  At least we're only ten riders across, so my tenth place last week at least allows me guilt-free front row privileges.  Jamie is right next to me but the rider right in front of me in the overall results... and we're both right off the overall top five in sixth and seventh respectively.  

Battling over the crumbs that spill down from the podium feastings, as it were.

We go, and Jamie and I bump elbows, and once again, I miss a pedal.  Dammit.  I still get to make something outta my unfair but earned (by being early) position, and get into the woods higher up in the group than I did last week.  We started ahead of the 50+ field this time, as opposed to the past week where we were a minute back... and as I predicted, without slow traffic ahead to bunch up the leaders on lap one, it was full throttle from start to finish.

After two laps, I found myself in some painful doldrums.  I was tryna keep Shart Tarck veteran (but first year SS) Santana from catching back up to me, whilst still fantasizing about bringing Jamie's back wheel closer to mine own front.  The next three laps, we somehow had lap times within two seconds of each others, so the task became apparently quite Sisyphean in nature.  Tired of rolling the boulder up the hill time and time again, I looked over my shoulder, didn't see Santana, and took my foot off the gas on the final climb to the finish.


Still just sitting there like a room temperature, busted open ten pound bag of Russet potatoes in seventh overall.  Moved up some on Chase (not on noodle bars this week), but now trailing Jamie by two points.  Word on the streets is that Chase is gonna miss a race anyhoo, so sitting in a potential (virtual) sixth place means I can't just give up, being that anything can happen.  

How does anything happen?

No beer handups or tomfoolery... yet.

Me thinks.

And because Lee Flythe got some good pictures of frands, here's are some of those frands (in no particular order):

Fast boi Nick has been crushing it this year.  I'm so proud of my son.  I think he got second this last time because he was over-sleeved tho.

The heckle crew has done a great job in 2023.  It's a wall of noise hammering up the single track climb and then seconds later coming down the adjacent whoops and turns.  I don't know what they're saying most of the time, but it's loud and appreciated.  They also have beer and hot dogs, so there's that.

Bryan.  We used to go to the mountains.  What happened to those days?  Member the mountains, Bryan?  We should do more of that.

This is Stephen King (no relation to Lebron James).  He doesn't ride a single speed because he still likes himself.  He used to go to the mountains too.  Mebbe, someday, when this is all over... mebbe we go again.  Not pictured: Big 'n Buttery (AKA Big 'n Douchey) who also used to go to the mountains and also race shart tarck but now just complains VIA group text about everything.  Also not pictured, Turd... who ignores all the texts.

Mikey used to be a messenger back before the boomie booms fell the first time ('08) and was one of the last to survive the crunch.  We used to talk and talk and talk (because there was no work to do).

I still can't figure out how Chase was crushing this course on noodle bars the first two weeks... while getting some of the best air.

Dr Mike and I used to get so much mountain bike cycle riding in on the weekends, but now we don't wanna "blow up our legs" on Saturdays... which I think I'm going back to doing, because why not... if only the weather would cooperate.

Two weeks to go.


FarleyBob said...

Is Mikey the only one on a rigid fork? Shake and bake!

dicky said...

There's me, him, and a couple others (to include Chase when he rides his noodle bar bike).