Wednesday, April 26

"I don't know how many years on this earth I got left. I'm gonna get real weird with it." ~ Frank

Leaning hard into that one.

With less than two weeks to go till the '23 Pisgah Mountain Bike Adventure Race, I'm as laser focused as a squirrel tryna break into Fort Knuts.

Every year, I'm always tryna solve new personally created problems that begin once I start my preparations in earnest.  Last year (or was it the year before... which was the same year?), the addition of a cell phone to the required gear list put my packless PMBAR into jeopardy.  Jersey pocket space is already hard to come by as it is, so my lunky iPhone squoze in an Otterbox almost ruined everything.

I keep 99% percent of this in an ammo can under my work bench, and it only comes out towards the end of April.  It's been this way for years to reduce my race prep anxiety, speaking of which...

My mind has been spinning ever since the news came in that Trader Joe's stopped making Gummy Tummies last August, the most delicious, easily-chewable, AND glucose based gummy animal on the planet... a veritable pillar of my nutritional plan if I'm "racing" my bike for more than three hours.

BTW: I learned what the difference between a pillar and a column was at some point in college.  I'd since forgot.  Writing "pillar of my nutritional plan" made me wonder what does that even mean?  Like, the phrase "pillar of the community."  So... google.

So it would seem that it would be better to be considered a "column of the community" rather than a "pillar," as being thought of as just pretty and mebbe functional isn't all that endearing.

What was I talking about?

Laser focused problem solving.

While this will be my 19th PMBAR (thanks COVID from keeping it from being my 20th), Watts and I are going at it together again for the 7th time as teammates.  We've pulled down three 2nds and three 3rds in the single speed class, so obvs we're due for... something?  We're usually handicapped by my poor decision making skills, but we've also been dumb and done it every single stupid time on rigid forks. 

Rigid forks make you look manly... or thusly. 

Also much easier to carry, which is what you do with single speeds 75% of the time in Pisgah.

This year, all that nonsense ends. 

This meant I had to go back to the drawing board a bit on my setup.  I always break out my once a year top pipe purse from Nuclear Sunrise.  I wanna be able to get at my gummies (now replaced with Clif Blocks, meh), and it's a great place to keep the passport and water purification tablets.  My new tiny handlebar (think tiny hat on a hat) number plate holder will also serve to have things strapped to it and will be a great place to mount the mandatory (and in most cases useless) light where I won't whack it with my knee.

I've promised myself that this year, when it's time to open the passports and see what lies ahead, I will take the time to PINPOINT each location, as opposed to heading out on hunches and vague notions based on previous years.  Last year, I tacked on an extra six painful Pisgah miles because of my tendency to rush into action.  I suffer from the same issues at work sometimes.  Now that my position includes some supervisory type challenges, I tend to jump in blind and figure it out as I go along, kinda like a lifeguard who can't swim but dives in the water head first to save a drowning victim assuming the whole "swimming thing" will just come to them.

That's it until what's next.


1 comment:

Unknown said...

My vote is that the sadly discontinued gummies were a pillar of the nutrition plan, making the purely functional clif bloks a column.