Handle Pipes and Knee Tubes

I whined (again) about the lack of decent options for knee tubes (okay, "warmers") on Facebook a couple weeks ago.  

I had a list of requirements for what I'll call "reasons" based on wearing knee tubes since the early '90s.  I'm guessing I've gone through dozens of pairs being a mountain biker, commuter, and bike messenger over the years.  My requirements are simple:

* One seam, top to bottom.  No ergo bullshit.  A plain and simple tapered tube.
* Stays up (even when I'm wearing boxer briefs as I do for commuting/work).
* Black (aside from subtle logos)
* Fleecy insides.

My desperate plea brought up one decent option from DNA Cycling.  When my frand Dahn suggested them, they were only $20 a pair, so I bought two (pairs not singles, dummy).  A day or two later, they were up to $40 a pair.  I'm wondering if someone saw my order and thought, "shit, they're still at summer prices," and flipped the switch to fall/winter pricing.

It shipped with a branded musette bag.  I'm not a professional road cycle sport athlete, but I do have other needs.  I had to reinforce the straps a bit, but it will suffice to be a packable "way homer" grocery picker upper in the future.

Anyhoo, I got them... and now I need to add to my list of knee tube requirements.

* The inside fleecy bit needs to be black.
* The stitching needs to be strong, AND the thread should be black..
* The seam needs to go up the inside of the leg.

Lemme explain.

I kinda already knew this, but when the fleece is white and your knee is bent, the knee tube is varying shades of black.  No knee tube company shows you pictures of the inside of their knee tubes, because apparently you'd have to be a psycho to want to know that. 

I should know better, but when I pulled them on in the same manner that I did my old Endura knee tubes, I could hear a stitch giving out.  Dammit.  Fortunately, I had my sewing kit at work to reinforce where the seam was stressed.  Noted.  Pull them on and off with more care.  I have a few pairs of bibs that require a delicate touch, so I know the drill.  Oh, and when they are on and stretched out, you can see the white thread of the seam on the outside... so mebbe use black thread?

The seam.  I had a hard time orienting the tubes on my meat sticks.  There was a logo, a seam, and a reflective tab on the seam... and after my second try, I realized the seam needed to go right up the back of my leg.  That means a seam in my knee pit.  Knee pits are the fifth most sensitive area of skin on the body.  Up the inside or nothing.  And mebbe I have them hiked up higher than a normal person(?), but the reflective bit, while a nice touch, isn't gonna be as visible as it could be if it were closer to the bottom.

They are warm.  They do stay up.  The logos... are not very subtle but at least they're white so they don't clash with other bits of kit (or HandUp flannels or AT+ shorts or gloves or whatever).  I'm not saying I know how to dress, and if I did, that I would abide by some Garanimal rules for proper attire, but I do notice things.

Oh, and circling back to my new, too-long titanium handle pipe.  I sliced off 10mm per side (really close anyways), and life if good.

Measure twelve times, cut once... in this case twice.  Then measure again for posterity.

One ride and I was totally in the world of Goldilocks.  780mm is how I like my cockpit porridge.  I can now yoink my bars up and confidently to put my front wheel in the place where I want it to be in slow, technical sections.  Weighting the front tire in the turns feels natural again.  My pinkies feel safe going through the tight trees.  

Ask me again why I don't wanna experiment with crank length?

*sticks head in sand*