You know it's getting real when...

*runs real fingernails down imaginary chalkboard*

I know all you impatient people have been out there wanting to know when I was gonna get off my ass and announce the go or no-go on putting on the Horny Cat 69 (still not brought to you by the Mutual of Omaha) this year.  Well, I just needed time to make that sweet MS Paint image because I'm all about putting out marketing material that matches the quality of this non-event/bike ride/waste of a whole day/backyard shindig.  

And I had to wait and see if I really wanted to do this again after leaving half my soul in Breckenridge.  The Breck Epic was kind enough to ship it back to me after finding it in a bathroom stall at the Gold Pan.

And there were some logistical issues (which probably could have been ignored but whatever).

And I had to waste a decent amount of brain space considering a haircut.  Mebbe this should be a fundraiser for a hair stylist and not some bunch of chuckleheads with chainsaws.

Here are the details.

It will be on October 11th.

The unsupported ride-at-your-own-risk group ride with an absolute "will drop you" policy on an arduous unmarked route knowing that the "group" will probably fall apart immediately will start at 9:00am.

There will be a Tarheel Trailblazers fundraiser pizza/beer/one six pack of Fanta jubilee at my house which is also the end point of the ride.  An expected donation of $13 will get you access to all those groceries (that's an old fashion term for food you buy from places that sell food, so I hear), and also you will be emailed a DOWNLOADABLE route sometime the week before the ride.  You can donate more if you choose to feel generous.  You can also donate, skip the ride, and just make great party as well.

SEND AN EMAIL TO SMELLYCAT100K@hotmail.com, and you will get payment information AND be added to the email distribution list.  

It will be mentioned in the pre-ride email, but I'm not gonna give an OVERLY detailed breakdown of the route like I did last time.  It's more simple this year.  If you're a local, you can follow most of the squiggles on the Ride with GPS route and know relatively what you're doing.  You will find yourself in places you shouldn't be.  If that makes you uncomfortable, don't go there.  You'll never be much more than thirteen miles of mostly peaceful greenway away from your vehicle, that is if you drove there. 

I've not considered a rain date, but I probably would do my best to make it happen later if we get shut down due to Charlotte being Charlotte, what with its thousand year storms every three weeks.  We didn't need it last time, and I did say that if I couldn't pull this off at all, I would donate ALL the money to the Tarheel Trailblazers.  If you were one that was predisposed to joining in on this ride, you're also probably someone who benefits from all their hard work, so you shouldn't mind pissing away $13 of your money... if it's for a cause you don't already support or you already do but could do a little more.

The WHOLE ride is really close to sixty nine miles, 42% off road or UNKNOWN, so a mountain bike is a great idea.  A noodle bar gravel bike would be okay... but you're not gonna like 15-20 miles of the route very much.  You do you tho.  Bring spare toobs.  Don't be someone else's problem.

This whole thing is really about the festivities and the raising of money, and the hanging out in my backyard with a few of my favorite things:

Beer
Pizza
Frands
Bikes
Not mosquitoes

I expect some will cut the route substantially, and I'm gonna do my best to prepare for some early arrivals.  Everyone has a different measure for success, so if you're idea of a good time is riding 25-30 miles and then consuming $12.99 worth of pizza and beer...

There, another five minutes of my life wasted with MS Paint..

I do want to ride a little bit this year, and as long as I can keep my kneecap from being exposed to the open air and spending most of my day (and $3,000 Americas) in the E.R., I'm gonna roll around a little bit before making sure all the ducks are lined up in duck rows back at my ducking place.  I'm imagining beer and six Fantas available @2:00, pizza shortly after that.

I might have some attendee swag.  I've yet to reach out to the benevolent people at HandUp, but I will... now that I've officially said this thing is a "thing."

Any questions?  Mebbe ask me on Facebook or IG (or that email address), because I check the comments here as often as I get my oil changed in my car that sits in the driveway 99% of the time.

See you there.  Or not. 

No pressure.