I am Iron Meh

All right, it's no Faces of Dicky, but I tried.

I've spent way too much time reading about iron, iron deficiencies, iron rich foods, iron supplements, Iron Maiden, and iron lungs since last Friday. I've consumed enough iron that my daily movements affect the earth's magnetic field, but being focused on my iron everyday is so tiring that I feel anemic trying to stop feeling anemic. I figured out how I can get a year's worth of iron in one sitting, but The Pie says I might be wrong on this one.

Mmmmmmm... 2268000 mg per serving.

I finally stopped googling iron related topics and gave myself a chance to peruse the Breck Epic website and pick over it with a fine toothed comb. I stared longingly at course descriptions with trail names I've never heard of before convincing myself that it sounded like fun. I spent some time dreaming of the cornucopia of food options on which I shall dine on before and after each stage. I quickly glanced over the purse section before I realized it had nothing to do with fashionable handbags or even man purses (or is that pursi?). And for the first time ever (this very morning) ALL THE BLOGGER INFO IS UP. Now I can fully encourage you to go over there and take a look at all the other candidates. Keep in mind that you will get to pick your top three bloggers, so after you vote for me you still get to pick two more candidates. That is of course assuming that you do vote for me, which you should. Let's face it, you came here to read my shit, and winning this contest will force me to write more shit. Either you enjoy my shit, or you just enjoy the fact that I crawl outta bed every day to post my shit... either way my pain brings you pleasure. Going to the Breck Epic on their blogger scholarship program will have me up even earlier and writing more shit.

If you look closely at the candidates you will see that no one blogs harder.

I did not bother to photo shop my head in as Bruce and I look very similar. Does that mean I coulda married Demi Moore? (worth the click, I promise)

I've been pumping out the verbiage way more than anybody else that's running for office, so based on the quantity (not necessarily quality) of work I pump out it is more than obvious that I deserve your vote.

So now you go here and place your vote. I have been asked which other candidates I endorse, and since I love them soooooooooo much I'll tell you. Fellow SS'er and entrepreneur Tomi McMillar gets a definite nod since we've had planned moments of mayhem together in the past, and he held my hand when I was scared at the Tour de Burg last year. My other top pick for fun-buddy is Lynda Wallenfells. I've always enjoyed her company at stage races, and she even took the time to send me a plastic bag in exchange for some unobtanium cranks I gave her years back. I will remain loyal to them till the end assuming that no other candidate on the list sends me a satchel of unmarked bills or a year's supply of CERA.

VOTE NOW!!!!*

*or whenever you get a chance. I don't wanna seem pushy or anything... but you should vote now while you're thinking about it... I mean, what if your computer crashes or something happens to you on the way to work (I realize most of you are reading this at work instead of working, so you already made it to work, but you still need to get home). For crying out loud stop thinking about yourself and your personal safety and vote for me while you still have a chance to make a difference.

I love you too.