Thursday, April 16

Don't push me

Why did I bother?

After my ride on Sunday (something like 34 miles at a semi-assertive pace) I was feeling a bit bunched up around my shoulders. I decided to mount up my m-u-c-h longer 60mm Syntace stem in place of the 50mm usual suspect Thomson. I mounted it within a few hours, stood back, and shivered at the sight. I placed the bike in the stand, and I left it in the middle of the bike room hoping the new stem would grow on me. It didn't. True, it only got a driveway shakedown, and perhaps the fit would have been fine, but as I stared across the room at this hideous monstrosity I was reminded of the man driven mad by the "vulture eye" in the Tell Tale Heart.

It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain, but, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved my old stem. It had never wronged me. It had never given me insult. For a longer stem I had no desire. I think it was that red eye! Yes, it was this! That red burble emblazoned with 10Nm resembled the eye of a vulture -- except with letters and numbers on it. Whenever it fell upon me my blood ran cold, and so by degrees, very gradually, I made up my mind to remove that hideous stem, and thus rid myself of the eye for ever.

So yesterday morning after I spent hours pouring my heart out into my daily blog post I arose from my chair and removed the offensive stem. I shoulda spent those ten minutes out on a "training ride", but there I was with wrench in hand at 7:10AM uninstalling the very thing I installed less than 60 hours prior. Time wasted and well spent.

Speaking of wasting my time...

I spent a shit load of time typing that rambling eloquent post yesterday. I did my best to give you some entertainment, and what did I get?

Well I guess you would have no way of knowing, but yesterday was a new low in daily stats in the last thirty days. Of course I'm not counting Fridays or weekends since they (you) tend to suck when you are more miserly with the time you spend wasting your time. Quite honestly things had picked up here quite a bit after my huge exposure in Mountain Bike. People were actually clicking on my results with increased frequency no doubt very confused regarding the much grandiose ado about an apparent nothing. So obviously there was definitely some love lost when I selfishly went outta town without specifically saying "THERE WILL BE NO NEW POSTS FOR FOUR DAYS", but I instead I did mention that "I'll be outta town on a non-biking type trip till next week". Maybe I shoulda hit the caps lock key. Dunno.

So I felt like I had cheated some folks, from the faithful few that have been coming here for over three years to the newcomers steered he by the very brief, but highly entertaining article... well snippet anyways, in Mountain Bike. I decided to try to make up for my shortcomings by giving you a decent dose of entertainment, and what do I get? I've never seen "cricket noises" represented by a bar graph in my daily stats before, but thanks to yesterday's lackluster attendance it has now been added as a painful reminder that you are all a fickle bunch of fair weather fans... well maybe not all of you, but enough of you that the folks at decided to poke fun at my weak numbers yesterday with the "Cricket noises" represented not only on a bar graph but also a pie chart which included snores, winces, uncomfortable silence, and awkward moments.

I am seriously considering a boycott. You know those "other blogs" that rarely update, and when they do they give you a photo and perhaps a couple sentences to succinctly summarize the last 72 hours of their existence? Well I am considering the very real possibility of swapping over to that method of posting... y'know the "photo accompanied by a succinct word blast" for an entire week. Let you suffer a little. Is this what you want?

"Life's been good. Lotsa training lately, and I'm very sore. I bought new shoes last week, and I ate some exotic food. Coffee, bike fit, power meters, craft beers.... snore"

Is that what you want?

Go ahead, dare me.


the original big ring said...

Don't do it! What will read with my coffee, granola and banana every morning?

Have you considered some good old fashion gratuitous nudity?

Oh, wait . . . . you want people to return to your site. Damn it!

If only you were eye candy like me it would work for you.


Anonymous said...

Tax day ... everyone out protesting the idiot president's fiscal direction. Get over it. Don't become Eddie O'Dea Part Deux.

ridn29s said...

OMFG - he's threatening us with twitter! Bad ideas aren't so easily expressed in 10 words or less Dicky...

Fxdwhl said...

if you're gonna resort to daily headshots, they should at least be taken while in the bathroom. keep it short, keep it classy.

Anonymous said...

I call DARE!

I think we all just want to hear more about the MOOTS, eh. And when I say "we all" I really mean "me".

Anonymous said...

If you do it, i'll make sure your entry to the BE is DENIED.

Anonymous said...

more content, less drivvel. I don't like to read anyway.

bentcrank said...

Damn, I just might have to work every day in the morning.

Big Bikes said...

One of the two sentences summarizing your last 72 hours should definitely be an apology for why you haven't been blogging lately.


Anonymous said...

While I myself would never be caught with a moots post on my bike. I did thoroughly enjoy the blog post yesterday. I reminded me of the good old days when you would put a little creative flair in your posts :o)


Anonymous said...

ohhhh... you put forth so much effort and not enough stroking of your ego on the other end?

dicky said...

OBR: Nudity? I'll consider it as long as it's tasteful.

Anon #1: Eddie part deux? I can't touch his facial hair, so I don't see how I could pull that off.

Ridin29s: Twitter? I believe Facebook is traditionally the next step in the downward spiral of interwebbing.

Fxdwhl: Maybe I can mix the nudity in with the bathroom headshots.


Anon #3: I already bribed the promoter with Carolina smoked ham.

Anon #4: Content costs you, but drivel will always be free.

bentcrank: Just give it some time. We'll all be jobless soon enough.

BigBikes: I'm sorry

Anon #5 (aka Nate): The "good old days"??? You cut me deep man.

Anon #6: I can never get enough stroking. Thanks for the commentuary validation of my efforts.

Ryan said...

I would complain, but I haven't updated my blog in like 2 weeks...oh and I knew you were out of town, I read the directions first :P

Sandblogger said...

You can pass on to your esteemed sponsors that your amazing personal testimonials have pushed one bike purchaser to get a moots to replace the Niner. I've been debating a new frame for a bit and that one looks like the beauty. You are paying off for the mootsclan already.

Fatty said...

my fake news pieces consistently draw the fewest comments and least traffic, even though they require more work of me. it's the same phenomenon you just described, and i think i finally understand it.

i may even be at peace with it.

here's what i think is going on. when you write something short or about something that is likely a common experience, you get a lot of comments, because people have something easy to say. and then they all come back to read what other people had to say back to them.

so you get several hits per "engaged" user. which comes across as high traffic.

but when you write something like yesterday's post, people don't have that much to say. they had fun -- maybe even more fun -- reading, but they're not participating. so they don't come back again that day.

that's why i got more than 100 comments (and massive traffic) on my post about shoes earlier this week: everyone has something to say about shoes. meanwhile i got way less than half that number of comments and considerably lower traffic for today's post (fake news about AFLD), even though it took more work on my part. fewer people had an easy, ready response, and therefore had less of a reason to come back.

here's how i've made peace with the whole thing: i've got the same number of readers, regardless of what i write. my traffic score for the day is mostly an indicator of what people did after they read what i wrote. and just because they didn't write a comment or come back doesn't mean it was a bad post. just that it wasn't a conversation-starter.

this comment wasn't at all too long.