Thursday, May 14

Dirt, Sweat, and Fjear

There's a reason my bike is called the Meatplow.

Yes, I ran that man down and countless others who stood in my way to ultimate victory. Will said when he cleaned my bike I had more flesh, bone, and brains clogging my wheels and drivetrain than I did mud. There was a whole skull stuck in my spokes... can you believe that? A whole skull? It's a shame I slaughtered dozens of innocent mountain bike enthusiasts only to have Thad go out for .75 laps and render my time on the course as pointless as a fourth testicle (I could see a use for a third). If all I wanted to do was run people over I can always run people over on local trails if I wanna run people over in an out of competition manner. Whatever. At least I have this guys head stuffed and mounted on my wall now.

How muddy was the race???

Look away now if you are faint of heart or perhaps not all that into male semi-nudity.

Notice Kim from Canadianica had no reason to look at my ass anymore as she had been staring at it all weekend. Yes, my crack was spackled shut even though I was wearing bibs. No, I had not crapped myself although if I ever wanted to I should have done it that day as no one woulda noticed. No, that is not a sphincter in the photo, it's just that I wanted to carry a pack of Toblerones with me, and I figured they'd get dirty in my jersey pocket, and Thad had this idea....

, feel free to put this image on your blog as much as you like.

Kim from Canadianica, feel free to look at this image as much as you want here or on Namrita's blog (you don't wanna save this to your work computer). No one will know... well, I have your IP so I can't say I wouldn't find it flattering if you look at it a lot.

Everybody else, you're welcome for your new screensaver, wallpaper, or poster.

I still don't have the Meatplow back together. Parts are strewn about the house, and many of them are still waiting for a little love and lube. I so wanna go riding this weekend, so I guess I better get to putting my shit in order so the wheels can go round and round in a coupla days. My gain is your loss as I'm gonna stop this post right here because as Jamie Pillsbury would say (and I'm gonna keep saying) "I gotta do my thing".


the original big ring said...

you call that an arse? skinny little thing ain't it?! two of your scrawny little cheeks is like one of mine. the toblerone comment was TMI and left me with a visual that caused me to be unable to finish my breakfast while I read your blog - bit of a gag reflex going on

your stat count will go through the roof today as i'm sure news that you're gotten your gear off for the camera will spread like wild fire - kind of like people wanting to stop and look at an accident or the freak show at the circus . . . .

will we see a fourth day of blogging about dsg? hmmmmmm, i wonder


dicky said...


I gotta teach you to count.
This is the fourth day of post DSG coverage.

Peter Keiller said...

the fact that he insisted on sitting in these soiled chamois (not to be confused with the Lynskey Designed Shamwow) for some 5hrs AFTER completing 2 laps was the only thing more offensive then this sight...the smell was worse than death.

Grizzly Adam said...

"Parts are strewn about the house, and many of them are still waiting for a little love and lube."

After looking at that *ahem* picture I am forced to wonder if you are only referring to bike parts that need "a little love and lube"?

Kim from Canadia said...

I keep trying to think of something witty to say, but then I catch a glimpse of that picture and am rendered speechless. Take that however you want.

Anonymous said...

get naked!