Whatever happened Peter will now be at the starting line come July 5th (sans reverse monkey boy porn, and he will finally have to face his worst fear (not the lack of convenient reverse monkey boy porn in the bathroom), racing me. While for him I am sure this will be a huge honor, and I expect that he'll probably want to have his picture taken with me, he'll just be another person I'll have to leave in my dust when the race starts and one I will cheer on as he crosses the finish line as I sip on my Cristal and enjoy the dessert after my post race banquet. I know how excited the fans can be when legends like Ned, Tomes, Tinker, or I spend even a minute discussing our individual trials and tribulations with them ("Yeah, I won. So what was it like being out on the course for twice as long?"), so I will be sure to patronize Peter as much as possible and give him at least four minutes of face time daily.
Peter: Hello, is this Mike McCormack...unnhhhh... promoter of the Breck Epic?Mike: I dunno, who's this?
Peter: This is Peter Keiller, the second coolest guy in Canadianica.
Mike: How did you get my number?
Peter: I have a private dick on retainer. He helps me with my drinking problem.. you know, he makes sure I get home from the bar and steers fat chicks my way.
Mike: What do you want?
Peter: Well... I was surfing around my usual porn sites and stalking my hero Dicky at the same time and when I went to buy some reverse monkey boy porn I entered my credit card info into your registration site and accidentally hit "send".
Mike: So....
Peter: Well I was wondering if you could help me out a little and send the money over to my favorite reverse monkey boy porn site?
Mike: No.
Peter: Why not?
Mike: Well, I just got my reverse monkey boy porn bill in the mail, and it's a little high so I'm gonna need to keep your money. Tell you what though... I'll let you come to the race, and you can hang out with Dicky. I own his ass since he won that indentured servitude... I mean "blogger's contset".
Peter: For real?? That would be the bestest.
Mike: No problem.
Peter: I'll bring my reverse monkey boy porn and we can talk "shop".
Mike: Suh-weet. You know Dicky told me to keep you outta Colorado, but you seem like a pretty nice guy.
Peter: I love you Mike...
click.
Oh yeah, some of my friends (and Dejay Birtch; you can click the link, but he never updates) were taken over to Italy believing that they were going to be the cast of a celebrity mountain biker reality show when they were in fact forced to ride their bikes for 24 hours. Their tale can be read (and watched in a modern video type format) over at Outside Magazine (not to be confused with Inside Magazine which is geared towards Canadianicans who can't afford a snowmobile). I have reviewed the link and can verify that it is Rush Limbaugh and paper plate free.
Morning weight report
134.6 lbs
8.3% BF
Two tenths of a pound (that's one fifth of a Canadianican pound) lost... take that plateau
134.6 lbs
8.3% BF
Two tenths of a pound (that's one fifth of a Canadianican pound) lost... take that plateau
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1 comment:
whatthefuck am i going to write aboot now?
that is correct. mike read your last two bike-blog entries and asked, wha?
it was a fair question. i decided to help him out with the ratings.
you might think of me as the token Baldwin on "Help I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here"...and you can be the loopy white dude that prays all the while he's stealing backpacks and threatening to quit...
so, for now, while you valiantly struggle with your BMI like a bukakee star suffering from spermobia, i shall be working on all the ways i can carry my bike up those bloody hills.
i will be a lamb to your mary, and i shall mock you everywhere you go.
it'll be like DSG.
on steroids.
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