Thursday, July 30

So it's gonna be like that, is it?

Checking out my stats over the last few days it would seem as if ORAMM really is the most important event on the international cycling calender. I had noticed some hits coming from Twitter in the last few days, but unfortunately I am not Twitter savvy. This morning I actually got a hit from a Twitter link that even I, as unsavvy as I am, was able to read and decipher (Twitter folks speak in code quite a bit).

Just read (guy who got Geoff at ORAMM) site. If only Geoff's did not work so much. Sorry buddy! Next year is all you!

Geoff had a job and still took second place? Does this mean next year he might quit his job next year to focus on ORAMM? Am I gonna have to follow suit? Will our rivalry reach the Contador/Armstrong level in 2010? Will the tifosi camp out for days on Curtis Creek road just to spur us on and run next to us in their underwear? Are Bob Roll, Phil Ligget, and Paul Sherwin gonna skip out on the Tour a day early to commentate on ORAMM for VS TV? Will the 2010 edition of ORAMM be a bigger event than Armegeddon?

Then there was this reply:

Oh... team effort here as well for the mission 2010 for Geoff!

Team effort? Did I forget to mention that Geoff has been linked to Carmichael Training Systems? Isn't having a coach or perhaps even being a coach the single speed equivalent of doping? Will he be Fit, Fast and Powerful in (only) Six Hours a Week? And a team effort? Will he have domestiques going back to the team car on Curtis Creek Road to fetch his water? Soigneurs at each aid station offering him a mussette bag full of paninis and tarts? Could he actually have a directeur sportif watching the live GPS tracking and communicating with him VIA race radios?

Looks like I better hit up MOOTS next year for a big budget ORAMM. We're not gonna win this thing for under $75,000. Of course a significant portion of that budget will be spent sending me to Fat Camp, but if that's what it takes to win I'll do it for "the team". I'll get the whole team of Dick Supporters on board... see if Industry Nine can get me some plaid rims (plaid is the fastest color in the universe).

I'll work on Cane Creek to develop a headset using transparent aluminum and maybe the folks at Backcountry Research can stretch the limits of strap technology and produce a Super Epic Awesome Strap over the winter. We (my team) will stop at nothing in order to win at ORAMM next year (assuming I enter it).

And to you Geoff, my nemesis, my El Guappo, my Moriarty, my Sylvester the Cat... in the words of Ralph Kramden: "I've been noticing you noticing me Norton. How would you like to... No, that's not the quote I wanted.

Dang it.

When you get that funny feeling that you're being watched over the next twelve months know that it is me watching you Geoff... well me or the FBI anyways.


Tomi said...

yeah, SS'ers w/ coaches, I don't get it either....

dicky said...


So you're saying I shouldn't be calling Johann Bruyneel to see what he's doing next year?

the original big ring said...

Four days . . . four long days . . . . I might blog that many posts too if I won a race with more than three or four other riders. Looking forward to the rest of the week of ORAMM blogworthiness.

Oh, by the way, congrats on the podium.


Word verification: clogram

Anonymous said...

Your blog is the best. It makes me laugh quite a bit through out the day. Thank you:)

Peter Keiller said...

don't do it Dicky.
it's a trap!

Anonymous said...

All of this analysis and yet still no mention of the GPS traker info. Have you studied those results yet? Very interesting stuff. From the data one can see that you climbed CC in 69 min while Applegate did it in 65 and Garth in only 60. Lost nothing to AA on the downhill though. Can't let this info get into the wrong hands.

mike said...

I think you're gonna need a PowerTap. I9 might be miffed, but I'm pretty sure nothing else is gonna cut it.

wv: gossaric (Geoffrey On SingleSpeed About to Rule In Carolina)

If you don't get a PTap on there stat. Just sayin'.

LowCountry Joe said...

I have been pouring over that GPS data...amazing statistics!!!

phureeous said...

Weren't you at one time linked to Richard Simmons Training Systems?