I gotta get those guys a MOOTSpost to brighten things up a bit. That generic black post is less than awesome.
Tube, CO2, mutli tool, and empty tube box sold separately
Tube, CO2, mutli tool, and empty tube box sold separately
Obviously that is a professional photo, and not an image I took while I was playing with my new bicycling accessory. The new Alpha Niner is the same length as the Back Forty, but it is a full 1.5" wide to handle larger loads with a whole lotta extra security. I decided to see if I could get everything I need for a "local ride" into the strap and free up my jersey pockets for berry picking or perhaps figure out if I could ride around shirtless more often than Brian Lopes.
Here's everything I "need" for a local ride:
*Tube (although I hardly ever flat, and it's easy as shit to walk out of any trail in Charlotte)
*4 & 5 mm allen keys (for re-adjusting parts I maladjusted the night before the ride)
*spare PC-1 master link (even though I've never broken a PC-1)
*chain tool with built in tire lever (also redundant for all the above reasons)
*big Maxxis tire lever (it looks pretty cool in the strap, and I think it works on non Maxxis tires)
*Crank Brothers Power Pump (the most awesome little pump ever)
And here's all that shit wrapped up tight and secure with the Alpha Niner:
Yes, I installed it upside down, but I meant to do that.
The coolest thing about the new 2010 Awesome Straps is that they incorporated an idea of mine. I noticed that some larger legged folks had some issues with rubbage on their inner thighs when mounted towards the top of the seatpost. I mentioned it to the design guru, and he hastily went to work on the idea, and voila... it was done. Although I had no idea how to put my idea into action (I could barely explain it) they figured out a way to pull it off quite simply, and they even came up with a cool marketing term for it.
"We’ve integrated the NEW “Overlock” design feature to enhance finish, provide lock down control and to eliminate any potential abrasion and pilling to your shorts."
Just when I thought I was the master of babble someone goes and outbabbles me. I can't wait to get the Awesome Strap lunch box when it comes out(it's all about merchandising). And just so no one feels cheated when they buy one of the other Awesome Straps from Backcountry Research all the new 2010 Awesome Straps have the "Overlock" design feature that I am somewhat marginally responsible for, so everybody who gets one will have a little Dick between there legs in 2010. Who doesn't want that?Still confused? Watch the video and see what the hell I'm talking about.
So just one ride in I can tell that the new strap is a winner. All my minimal gear stayed in place, and I didn't have to listen to a bunch of clatter rattling around in a seat bag trying to wear a hole in my tube nor did I have a bunch of pokey crap poking me so pokably in my back.
So what do I have against seat bags? Nothing. Everything. I've gone through quite a few of them in my time. Either I have to get one that's a little too big for everything I wanna carry and my junk ends up jangly, or I have to lubricate my tools to get them properly squozen into the confined space and get the zipper to shut. Even when I secured them down with a toe strap they still ended up wiggling around just enough that eventually they got holes worn in them, or in the case of La Ruta in only took four days of abuse to render it useless. So I can buy a seatbag made in China (more than likely) that's basically disposable every year (or after a coupla long days in the muck), or I can get a nice strap made here in the US and A that holds whatever I deem necessary on that given day to make great bike race. Great success!!
So go ahead and get Awesome already. The straps are plenty cheap ($9.95-$11.95), and if you tell them I sent you they'll probably just say "That's nice, please enter your credit card information for the full amount, and might we suggest you keep your distance from that little man. We like him a lot, but what we like best about him is that he lives on the east coast and we do business from the west coast. We heard he smells funny. Oh anyways, you probably don't wanna hear all that. You probably just wanted a strap. Hey, have I ever told you about the time I went fly fishing with Steve Buscemi and Al Gore? Well....".
Maybe it's best that you don't mention me and avoid all the small talk.
BTW: Time is running out for the Misfit Psycles Pfopsularity Crontrest. Voting is as simple as clicking a link. This link will not take you to any porn, although you may disgusted by what you see. I would apologize, but it's not my website. Put me on a Nummers, if for no better reason than the fact that you will only waste three seconds of your day doing so. A whopping 6% of you obliged yesterday, so thank you loyal supporters. It's good to know you're behind me (all 6% of you).
11 comments:
What's up with the knock off strap that is reviewed in Dirt Rag?
No Awesome in that strap.
That strap came out around the same time as the Awesome Strap. They are both giants in the bicycle strap accessory industry. Awesome Straps are just more awesome... that's all.
I think the Beserk-a-whatever needs a Moots post as well! It looks like both the professional photos and your photos prefer a black seat post, maybe Moots needs to do their Ti post in black to meet the needs of professional photographer types.
DEA
if there's no porn i'm not clicking.
Sean,
There's porn.
VF: gormongo
The awesome strap is not awesome, and your pump looks like it would really suck to try to use it. this is one of your shittier posts.
Patrick,
First of all I've had some way shittier posts.
Secondly, the pump is actually really great. It's small, but it has a dial on the bottom that allows me to switch between "volume" and "high pressure" settings making it quite effective at its job. It's perfect for what I use it for... sure it's not as great as that massive pump you keep in your over stuffed messenger bag, but it's a lot of pump in a small package.
As for the strap, if you want one why don't you just ask me for one? It doesn't taste like sour grapes at all.
I second that, I have that pump, and it's rad. I also agree that you've had some shittier posts, and I liked this one even though I live by the "if it doesn't fit in my jersey pockets, I don't need it" philosophy. Made is the U.S. is the way to go.
"That generic black post is less than awesome."
That's what Sno Bol toilet bowl cleaner is for (under it's non-trade name it goes by the moniker "hydrochloric acid."). Gets the black (or purple if you're old school) out.
"Yes, I installed it upside down"
That's what Sharpies are for. Gets the orientation indicator out.
"my junk ends up jangly"
That's what a jock is for. No. Wait. Wrong jangly bits. Sorry. That's what a hand wiping rag is for. As a bonus feature you can use it to wipe your hands. If you insist on feeling all hi-tech and shit you can use a party balloon and tell your friends it's an "Awesome Time-Space Continuum Control Device" (or "ATSCCoD Piece").
"I can buy a seatbag made in China"
You mean there's another kind? Go figure.
"The straps are plenty cheap ($9.95-$11.95)"
"Plenty cheap" has obviously come to mean something different to you kids these days.
"Maybe it's best that you don't mention me and avoid all the small talk."
That's worked out for me so far, but a nice tip for the noobs.
"It's good to know you're behind me"
If I don't get behind you, how can I stab you in the back?
Cheers.
Dicky,
Do you have any contact information for backcountry research?
Their website has been "under maintenance" for far too long and I wanna buy stuff from them.
If you have an e-mail address, or a phone number, that'd help.
Thanks.
Matt,
Shoot me an email at teamdicky at hotmail dot com, and I'll be sure to get you the information you need to get a strap while the site is down.
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