Friday, September 4

When will this madness end?

Obviously some of you think that someone who has suffered such a dreadful shunning (I'm talking about yesterday's post for those of you picking this up a little late in the game) might be inspired to ride outta their heads and snatch victory from the evil doers much to the chagrin of the naysayers and nonsayers. It would be a tale to remember, perhaps worth making a movie about a la Rudy, Hoosiers, Goonies, or Zulu. Well unfortunately I'm not that kinda guy. I'm not saying that if I see Gunnar at the side of the trail fixing a flat I'm not grab his mini-pump and toss it into the woods. I'm also not saying that I'm not above peeing in some one's water bottle the night before or changing Tomi's cog to a 15T while he's sleeping. I'm just not gonna be able to come up with the goods and make some kinda super human effort to pull off the dramatic underdog win. I assure you that if I end up on the top step of the podium it would more than likely be due to the misfortune of others or a little treachery on my part.

Somehow or another I ended up feeling great for the first fifty miles of the Fool's Gold 100 a few weeks ago. I think it was due to my eleven month taper program I initiated some time ago. Instead of thinking about it as a reduction in saddle time due to laziness I like to think about it as a planned period of advanced recovery. Body and mind as relaxed as possible, just leave it up to experience and equipment.

Got some death to do.

As much as I wanna hold the tremendous oversight of not including me amongst the pre-race favorites in the pre-race email against Chris Scott (SM100 promoter) I have to give him kudos for rule number nine which states:

9) bring your favorite camp plate, drink cup and utensils

It was this "rule" that inspired me to purchase my melamine plate and sporknife that I try to bring to every race in order to take part in pre/post race meals in a little less wasteful fashion. Chris really wants people to try to think a little before they trash the world up over a bike race, and I give him kudos for that. I realize we're all burning gas to get there and just ruining the earth for future generations by simply existing, but why not try to squeeze a few more years outta this dirtball while we have a chance?

With a pre and post race meal these are all the broceries a man needs. (Women, I have no idea how you would need to fill your own needs. Please consult your manuals.)

Speaking of women and unfair treatment... good friend and fellow exhibitionist Tommawicki recently sent me a link to an interesting video. It seems like some enthusiastic fan/athletic supporter thought it would be great if he gave his favorite riders a push at the top of the climb in a short track race ON EACH OF THE RACE'S TWELVE LAPS??? Poor Becky ended up getting second place sandwiched between two riders who had been pushed A LOT. The weird thing is all the interviews and such that were done at the race (seen in the video and in the accompanying article) made my head spin. Seems some folks thought it was "OK" while the promoter and USACycling official said it most certainly was not. Did they change the results based on the findings? Click over and see.

As of 8:07Am I have now trademarked the term "broceries". All future use of the word "broceries" should only be done after consulting with my attorney and the payment of a nominal fee.


Big Bikes said...

Was that guy also out there pushing the male riders or is he just a sketchy pervo who likes to touch women's bums?

AdamB said...

I agree about the place setting thing. Just bringing a plate/fork/cup is no biggie yet the trash that a race like this would create is huge if done the "traditional" way.

BTW, I now own some Awesome Straps (I went w/the Back 40 so I could be more awesome than you)and a certain someone charged me with clicking some pics of you and your Awesomeness at the race.

Looking forward to seeing you there, AdamB

Anonymous said...


I know a guy in Colorado who trademarked the phrase "Thank you for not smoking" in the early 70's.
He hasn't worked in decades, owns a nice ranch on the Pouder River outside of Fort Collins, has a fleet of Austin Mini's, and his guest house is entirely decorated in the kind of items you could get with Camel Bucks. He got bored with being named "Fred" and legallly changed his name to "Derf" in the ultimate example of creativity.

have fun in the burg, r.

Anonymous said...

The misfortune of others is how I always do well in races. I like your style.

Leyonce said...

The Wiki link made my blood boil. To finish second by less than one second!! Yea...10 or 12 pushes made a big difference in the outcome!


Leyonce said...

Oh yea, good luck Sun. Looks like nice weather is on order.

broceries, that's good

Anonymous said...

Love it! Pop tarts are the best!

Yep, Kudos goes out to Chris Scott, that lad puts on some great races!

(gf volunteered a couple of times at the W101 and SM100 cooking up some dogs and burgers for your hungry bellies)

Gonna miss those races (didn't race this year... I need a year off).
Next year.

Anonymous said...


dicky said...


equal to the annual rate of simple interest that would obtain if interest were not compounded when in fact it is compounded and paid for periods of less than a year b : equal to the percentage by which a repaid loan exceeds the principal borrowed with no adjustment made for inflation

In my words: an amount of money accessed by using complicated banker math

Jonathan said...

Clearly Mike Mussina had an off-day when he was preparing the notes for you to review and craft an entry. I know that His Dickness would notice immediately that the man heaving riders over the crest of the hill by their posteriors carries the surname 'Ramsbottom.' Whether or not his ancestors have interfered in athletic competitions since time immemorial by ramming the bottoms of lagging competetors, I cannot say. I am sure, however, that you will agree that the coincidence is the source of at least thrity seconds' worth of peurile humor.

sean said...

playing down your fitness to trick your enemies into complacency..... what's next, you gonna bolt a cardboard cutout of a derailluer on there so they don't know it's you when you sneak past them?

Anonymous said...

Of course giving a push to certain girls (more than once, especially) is wrong, unfair, unethical, etc. That girl w/ the big black glasses who said there's nothing wrong with it should get out on her bike, race at max heart rate while the girl in front of her gets a push every lap and see what she says then. She seems like the kind of person who would be the first to complain.

Ride hard Richy-rich!

The Evil MGE! said...

Its probably cause every one who was anyone who was racin that race has a blog already and has you linked. I was trying to play you down myself but the grandness of your mystic has over ruled and you have become another link in some douche's sidebar. In other words...It was was one of those things that goes without saying.

That's fugged up for Wicki-Wicki...fool just should've kept his hands to himself. Think its interesting that the official in the video talks about how it was wrong and completely against the rules then at the end says as an official feels she had done everything in the right. WTF?

Anonymous said...

My wife and I decided to have 4 more kids to help me up the 'rough" hills at races. If I could sling 8-10 people strategically around the course, my times would be so much better. Interesting how SHM has received bad press for showing the controversy. But we all know bad press is actually good.

timmy Plowed