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Monday, January 4

My frame should be delivered today....

but unfortunately not to my house. As things tend to go for me, if something could go wrong it will go wrong. A misplaced keystroke, the check of a box that should not be checked, the assumption that things should appear normal, or just the fates shoving their hands into the mix... just what it was doesn't matter much. All that matters is that my frame traveled a great distance, and when it arrives at it's destination and is revealed to the sunlight for the first time since being packed away it will not be looking up into the eyes of its new owner.

This is actually a fortuitous development. I will be the benefactor of even more additional happiness in the end, and the delay forced an epiphananic (my word) vision over the weekend. Whether my epiphany will see the light of day is yet to be seen, but just having it makes me feel warm all over for now.

Since I don't have a new frame to talk about why don't I talk about something else that is new?

Last week I mentioned that the movie District 9 was more awesomely awesome than the soon to be available, all new, re-designed Awesome Strap. The owner of Backcountry Research contacted me and let me know how he felt about this less than flattering (since he didn't like the movie) comment.

I guess that was his subtle way of telling me that the Awesome Strap is much more awesome than the very awesome movie District 9 , and also that the newly redesigned straps are now finally available. By "redesigned" I mean redesigned according to bicycle industry standards, which means it's basically the same as it was last year (with the late season introduction of the overlock strap feature) but in an ALL NEW COLOR SCHEME AND FONT!!

Introducing the 2010 Awesome Strap, now with 66% more uses and 100% more irony.

100% more irony? Yes, I made sure he had a quality post from my (at that time) sponsor MOOTS in an attempt to do some Hollywood type product placement for my title sponsor. Back in 2009 he was using some cheap Kalloy type post, and being that I was in the mix that simply would not do.

Although the Awesome Strap is not an expensive product I wanted people to know it is compatible with wealth and success too. No respectable dentist would be moved to click the purchase button by seeing the Awesome Strap strupped (my word) to a cheap $15 post.

For the wealthy dentist type rider who needs a little more comfort than the MOOTSpost will allow Backcountry Research wants you to know that you can be comfortable and still be awesome too*.

*Thudbuster sold separately

I mentioned that the new Awesome Strap has 66% more uses, but I bet you were wondering what I was talking about. Well imagine you're some successful geared type racer who dabbles in the world of single speed racing on occasion just to show everybody how awesomely awesome you are... the kinda racer who rides so fast that he's lost most of his hair... the kinda racer who eats Lebanese salami for breakfast...

Yes Gerry "The Pflug" Pflug, you can now take your salami with you. No more chewing on volunteer's forearms at aid stations when you can simply strap your favorite breakfast meat to your seatpost. Your welcome Mr. The Pflug.

I could stop there, but why would I? What if you're the type of rider who loves Van Halen (pre-Lee Roth), the kinda rider who has taken facial hair, sarcasm, and orange jumpsuits to a new level, the sorta rider that seeks out the number of the beast, listens to edgy bands that no one has ever heard of (even the bands themselves never knew they were a band), and feeds on the souls of hipsters while washing said souls down with a frosty cold Bud?
Yes Stevil Kinevil, this Bud's for you.

No buddy... it's really for you.

So anyways if you wanna be awesome like me, or perhaps even more awesome like The Pflug or Stevil buy your Awsome Strap today. If you would like to surpass all our awesomenesses put together like awesome Legos than perhaps you should buy the Whammer Deal and get all three Awesome Straps (the regular Awesome Strap, the Back Forty, and the Alpha Niner) for the low, low price of $24 shipped. That should peg the awesome meter higher than having breakfast with a poseable super hero action figure.

Now if you are one of the folks that purchased a 2009 Awesome Strap and you now feel the need to upgrade to the 2010 Awesome Strap but can't seem to come up with the $9.95 even after looking through the couch cushions let me tell you what I can do for you. Find something unusual to strap to your bike**, affix it solidly to said bike (or not so solidly since you probably won't actually ride with a Slap Chop strapped to your bike), and send me a photo at teamdicky at hotmail dot com. The person who entertains me the most with their digital imagery will win a new 2010 Awesome Strap (and perhaps a bonus something something if I can dig around a bit in my drawer of schwag). You have until the end of the week to submit your photo, so get to the strapping and the snapping.

** no male genitalia please


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rich
Great ride ride Saturday. You guys ride those rigid SS pretty darn good. TC

Nerd On A Bike said...

After seeing District 9 on DVD (not in a movie theatre as I become exceeding engrossed in the 'real' online world and will become assimilated into the Matrix before doomsday 2012) I am definitely changing my outlook on human/alien relations.

Next time I'm getting probed (brain or other), which is usually every third Thursday. I will definitely speak to them with respect and end each engagement with a handshake (or alien variation thereof) and invitation to dinner over the weekend.

Canadan said...

You Americans and your protectionist policies. In awesome places, it takes more than a week to upgrade your awesome.

Blur said...

You're getting a Motobecane, aren't you?

Word verification: suffin
Either a shortened version of 'suffering' (which is what I'll be doing at P36 if I don't get on my bike soon) or a shortened version of 'sex muffin' which is how I think of you.

buh-bye.

Blur said...

Oh.....
And I have the perfect 'Awesome Strap Photo Contest' shot pictured in my head. Will you publish it if I send it to you?

Word verification: derink - "Get out the Zamboni so my suffin and I can go skating at derink!"

dicky said...

All worthy photos (sans male genitalia) will be published.

Stevil said...

I'll be waiting by the mail box with bated breath.

zencycle said...

Two things
1) what keeps shit from falling out of the bottom of the 'awesome' strap? Having raced and ridden mtb since '94, I can't see how a strap - no matter how much grippy shit it's coated with - is going to hold onto your shit after a solid 4 hour hammering in the woods if nothing is underneath the shit. Ditto for road riding. Have you tested this product with the 'serving suggestion' configuration of two air canisters, a tube, a multi-tool, and tire levers? Not to mention, unless you're riding a fender your shit will get all dirty. Ever try to install a mud coated tube with mud coated tools? I think you owe your readers a testimonial, especially for a product of such dubious utility. Ride the thing for three hours, and if you don't lose your shit (and by that I mean if it stays in the strap for the entire ride) I'll buy the whole set.

b) Van halen pre- lee roth? um.... Roth was the original lead singer. Van halen pre-david lee roth would have been pre-van halen. Actually, the first name of the band was Mammoth, so Roth was technically pre-van halen. Just thought you should know.