Friday, July 2

So last night I gave in...

and against my better judgement I signed up for most important race on the international cycling calender; ORAMM.

Kinda last minute.

Even though the ride I did on Sunday was a preview of some of the hard stuff at ORAMM, and I had my ass handed to me all day long.

Even though I wished I could just walk away from this race.

This morning my name is on the list.

This morning Will Black's name made the list as well.

Who's Will Black?

This is Will Black (handsome guy in the middle) showing his ass to Lance Armstrong at a cross race in 2002. Lance did end up winning, but rumor has it that Will let him by because he loves the US Postal Service that much. He runs out to the mail box like a kid every day.

Last time I did ORAMM with a Will Black in the race he was in the open class on a single speed. He would have done all right (won, destroyed, went out on a second lap?) but he flatted twice and then spent the rest of the day riding with Captain Morgan mocking him the entire time after I blew past him at check point three.

This year I don't think I'll be so lucky. I will give it my all, but Will has a lot of all, all the Will, and some really bad ass tattoos. I'm going down swinging, so stand back. I have a feeling Will's gonna toss me off the top step of the podium like a lawn dart.


Anonymous said...

Pfear not Dicky – I’m sure Will Black will be DQ’d due to the flatbed support truck following him around the course with hand ups (just like Cohutta a couple years ago). Of course, none of those post-race accusations were ever substantiated, except for the instance where a husband caught Will Black making passionate love to his now ex-wife (although he did admit it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen). Better put the Pie on lock down.

WV: rednwei (how the label reads once the wine bottle's empty)

WB said...

No chance of a repeat of that fiasco. I have been riding with a 70oz hydration pack, that and a couple of bottles will keep me from needing feeds.

As for the rest no comment.

dicky said...

Get your damn hands off her (in my best Crispin Glover voice).

I will ask The Pie to stay at home.

Don't believe what Will says about the hydration pack. He gave up water after "The Cohutta Incident" in order to avoid future conflicts.

Anonymous said...

do i sense some fjear in the dick?

dicky said...

I do not fjear the unavoidable things in life like taxes, death, and defeat at the hands of Will Black.