No apologies.

Seriously, taking a day off has put me behind. So much to cover, and to have to do it in a Friday post?

Meh.

Two days worth of posting in one post?

Let's see...

Only 184 people watched my hopping penis video. That is just a fraction of the people that read my blog over the last two days. I am displeased. I spent some serious time making that video, so much so that when The Pie came home Wednesday night from obedience class with the guide dog puppy she had this to say when I showed it to her:

"I just spent and hour and a half teaching good behavior to this dog that will one day lead a blind person around, and while I was gone you made a video of a hopping penis? Nice."

I risked my marriage for your entertainment, and this is what I get? Watch it. Watch it alone, with your family, or your coworkers. Help me help you make the world a better place.



Breck Epic is going to have a three day version of its stellar stage race in 2011. Promoter Mike McCormack had a contest on Facebook to name the new event. The chosen winner will receive a...

bag of coffee.

Ooooohhh, I like coffee.

So anyways I came up with the idea for the three day Breck Epic Shocker. You know, the first one's for fun, but the other two are mildly pleasant and slightly uncomfortable. I even came up with a sweet logo to help sell the new format.

You know you want a piece of this. Sign up before October 4th for only $499. Then the price goes up and you'll be pissing away $100 of your hard earned money.

Speaking of the Breck Epic, can you believe I beat this guy?

This is Tyler "Tool Bag" Benedict of Bike Rumor fame out trying to catch a few ocean butterflies while taking a vacation on Lake Erie. I'm assuming he left his swimsuit at home and had to borrow the bottom's from his wife's bikini. I've already scoured through his facebook photos, and I haven't seen any of his wife on a boat wearing only a bikini top, so this is still just an unconfirmed rumor. Look for Tyler in the next issue of Out Magazine.

In more race news...

Today and today only you can register for the best 6 hour race I've ever done for only $40. The normal price is $60, so you'll be saving something like $100 if you sign up today (math was never my strong suit). Last year this April event sold out in February, so if you want in on the fun you better get in while you can. The Warrior Creek trail system is one of the most unique trails I've ever ridden, and I think you should be there if only just to watch me burn it up and applaud as I pass you looking resplendent in the latest riding apparel from Twin Six.

Dopers do indeed suck, and I hope to be making a statement next year.
I may not have plans to do well next year, but from a fashion standpoint I should look quite smashing.

Sponsor news and a contest? Wanna win a six pack of 16 gram Genuine Innovation CO2 cartridges? Go over to their facebook page and simply upload a photo of one of our products on your bike or in your hand. Bonus points for uploading a picture of them strapped to your bike with an Awesomes Strap. These points are not redeemable for anything nor do they accumulate and go towards anything material. They're just bonus points for the sake of having.

And finally, speaking of Awesome Straps, the all new redesigned Awesome Straps should be available this weekend.

Below is a sneak peak of the Awesome Strap RAG TOP™ made from heavy duty abrasion resistant Hypalon® with bartack construction. It doesn't get any tougher.

I will be getting mine shortly and mounting it up ASAP. For all you velcro haters and strap doubters this thing should make you feel differently about your saddle bags otherwise known as seat scrotums. Personally I think the folks at Backcountry Research need to go ahead and retire the Awesome Strap moniker and rename it, something like "The Strap Formally Known as the Awesome Strap"

or maybe call it the Kyra Sedgwick...

I have no good reason for that.