Thou shalt want what ere I want

Yesterday after meeting my expected parental expectations I made it out for a road ride with Jerry. Before the ride I had to trim my rear brake housing since it displeatheth Jerry so...


Trimming down commenced and once finalized I joined him for a two hour ride before coming home and eating cookies for an equal amount of time.

When I got home I found that I had bigger and smellier fish to fry. Peter sent me an email and let me in on some bad news. His new biography had come out earlier this week, and not only had it gotten terrible reviews from the children's book critics the early sales have fallen flat as well.

In order to make up for all the money he sunk into self publishing his epic tale of bike romance (illustrated by Omar Treyes) he needs to sell a lot of shit this weekend. He asked for my help, so I offered to lend my celebrity power to the cause. The end result is this:

Yes, by going over to the Misfit Psyclestore now (through midnight Monday) you can buy anything you want for 16.66% off.

Anything.

Just by typing DICKTACULAR in the coupon box when you check out.

I asked Mike Piazza to help me figure out just how much you could save with this new exciting discount. He wasn't much help as all he wanted to do was show me how to write "BOOBIES" upside down.

So let's go on without his assistance.

Not feeling too saucey right now? Sales of your own biography not going so well? Perhaps you want to save 16.66% on a set of Official Misfit Psycles Team Coasters?

These only retail for $3.00, so your savings would only be @ 50¢, but that's more than the amount you woulda saved without the coupon code which woulda been nothing. Success!!

One might assume that last September's trip to Canada might have been an attempt by Peter to coerce me to ride for Misfit Psycles in 2011. Think college athletic recruiting without the strippers, fast cars, money, drugs, the possibility of an education... okay, maybe with the strippers. You may be right. Perhaps I will be riding for Peter next year...

2011 Misfit Team rider (or not) Rich Dillen (or not) looking resplendent in a Darth Misfit t-shirt that retails for $18.95, but you can have it for @ $15.80.

Now what if I was actually going to be riding a Misfit next year? This would be your chance to pick up some Misfit walker wear before the other kids on your block, so you can be all like "I was sooo Misfit before the illustrious Team Dicky was even officially on board. Booyah!"

I cannot verify nor deny any rumors that I may in fact (or not) be riding for Misfit next year. I can say that I would look very good in a Misfit Simple hoodie that retails for $38.80 (but you could have it for $32.34). How good? Something like this:

My apologies for the poor photoshop job. My computer doesn't speak Canadian png.

Of course I would not pay retail for it either. I would expect to get fifteen of these sweet hoodies for free as part of my contract (that has neither been signed or even drawn up yet, assuming I would be riding for Misfit Psycles which I may or may not).

Now, if you really wanna be a Team Dicky fan boi you'll probably wanna pick up a Meat Dicky limited edition poster.


Normally you'd pay $20 for something this nice (and limited) to hang on your wall, but for the next 4 days you can get one for $16.67. Get one, bring it to an event where you know I might be, ask me to sign it, and my people will push you back into the crowd. Peasant.

Now if one was really smart they would use this discount for their greater good. Sure you could pick up a stem, a cog, a set of hubs, or even a goofy shaped handlebar....

I swear people actually use those things to steer their bicycles.

No, why not go high dollar and get the most for your DICKTACULAR dollar? Why not get a nice single speed frame? Maybe even the most expensive one Peter sells, like the 17" diSSent FE made in Canada by Hugh Black with Paragon sliders (460 pictures here). They normally fetch (not felch) $975, but you could pick one up for $812.57. Think how happy your significant other will be when you tell him/her that you saved $162.43 today. I just saved your marriage.

Not feeling like saving that much money and your marriage in one fell swoop? Maybe you should look at the diSSent AL for only $450... I mean for only $375.03.

It's everything you want in a frame...

Black with a skull.

Doesn't feel like you'd be saving enough money to save your marriage by settling for the diSSent AL? Try the Misfit diSSent AL C for $750... oops, $625.05.

This is the diSSent ALC that is made in North North America, by hands that handle lots of bacon and Molsons. Nothing makes a great frame like pork products and domestically imported domestic beer.

I think you get the point. Buy anything over at the Psyclestore till midnight Monday and save 16.66% by using the coupon code DICKTACULAR when prompted. I'm sure you're thinking "What's in this for Dicky?"

Aside from the fact that this gave me a day's worth of blog fodder Peter has promised me 95% of the 16.66% he is not making on this deal. Mike Piazza tells me this is not as good as it sounds, but I do not feel I can trust his fuzzy judgment this morning.

Remember, George Bush says shopping keeps us safe from terrorism.

Tomorrow I'm off to The Fall Gathering. See you there (or not).




Peter is not responsible for any fat fingering I might have done on my calculator. Your price WILL be 16.66% off retail when you enter the code DICKTACULAR.