Performance enhancers VIA US Mail

Way back in August the too young to drink (legally) Hannah Montana Miller was wandering around the parking lot at the Breck Epic propositioning the other single speeders trying to get a large cog for the very climby day five. I graced him with the gift of my very large 23T Endless cog which I had found quite useless early on in the race. Young Missouri went on to have his best day ever snagging second place on that very stage. I also had my best day all week on Stage 5 snagging "not last place" for the first time in five days. Anyways, to show his gratitude for my cog putting him on the second step of the podium he promptly shipped it back to me... this past Monday (not last Thursday as we were led to believe). Not Express Mail, not Priority Mail, but First Class, because that's the kinda guy he is.

I am used to receiving ornately decorated packages or at least extra goodies when I get a package in the mail. I was nervous when I first laid eyes upon the blandly addressed package, but I was not disappointed when I got to its contents.

"Hey,

Sorry I've had this for like 5 months. Just FYI, it makes a really painful cock ring. I would file the splines off if you plan to use it in that fashion. I would have, but it's not my cog.

Anyway, I've included a non-redeemable non-negotiable game token and a medium sized washer to show my gratitude.

Hugs,
Montana"

I'm not going to share with you the enclosed photo of my 23 tooth cog dangling quite loosely from Montana's prepubescent wiener. I have thrown my cog into the recycling bin and will have to order another one right away.

What's wrong with these kids nowadays sticking their penises in everything? When I was young I kept my penis in my pants where it belonged unless it was engaged in a proper penis type activity. Like my father always said, "Never show your sword unless you intend to use it."



Tomorrow you will find out why you haven't found anything out all week.