SSAZ 2011: Revenge of the Dildo Wielding, Slam Dancing Vomit Monster: Part Two

The rest of SSAZ?

After I rolled across the line it was time for beer, pizza, and sitting in a gravel driveway waiting for the others to finish. The course was heinous enough that it would be hours before everybody got off the course. Eventually Dejay started whipping prizes into the crowd, and I walked away with a nice Genuine Innovation Flat Stack tool and an official Grig Martin edition Club Ride shirt, which was nice to sleep in, but due to its largeness I gave it to Dough. I did wake up feeling 25% more handsome. Too bad it wasn't my size (extra midget).

Once the Team Bike 29 crew finished up we headed back to town, got cleaned up, and headed to.... a bar. Four bands, one with a washboard and a tub/stick/string thing, and a bit of slam dancing later we headed back for another dose of six hour sleep.

The next day we dragged our asses out of bed for some riding at Sweetwater led out by Tai Chi master and artist extraordinaire Rudi Nadler.

photo cred: Mandy

This trail system was more interesting than Fantasy Island (the trails, not the TV program). Mike Stanley, Mike Montalbano, and Dark Horse George joined us for a couple hours of cactus dodging and sand drifting.

photo cred: Mandy

The desert. Almost as pretty as the mountains, but flatter.

After the ride we hot tubbed, put on our make-up, and headed to... a bar.

After that bar closed we headed to The Buffet... which was actually just another bar.

Don't get the wrong idea. Although we spent more time sitting on bar stools than we did on our bikes I was not really ripping and tearing through the night. The first day/night we hit the throttle a bit hard, and I never fully recovered. A beer here, a White Russian/Long Island Ice Tea/MAN-Hattan there... that's all I was good for this time around. What can I say? I'm old. I've never spent so much time drinking water in a bar, but since the water in the hotel tasted a bit like sweaty ass it was my best chance to hydrate in the desert environment.

I would say that the Team Bike 29 training camp went very well, and we are now very prepared to do something. I'[m not sure what exactly, but something big and ubiquitous. I would like to thank Mandy and George for making the whole thing happen. Without them Dough and I would have been spooning under a makeshift shelter constructed out of empty bike cases.

Oh... and thanks to Dejay for organizing quite the birthday extravaganza. If you're bored next February, looking to escape the snow, and your liver is up to it, I'd say you could do a lot worse than SSAZ to get your "season" started.