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Wednesday, March 2

I'm rolling out magic bro

It's official. I no longer have to write my blog. I'm just going to go over to livethesheendream.com and do some copy/paste work. His brilliance may not be appreciated by all in our time, but I'm sure he will inspire a religious movement generations later.

I guess that's too short for one of my blog posts. Meh.

A dollar bill makes a fine boot if you happen to tear the sidewall of your tire. It can also be used if you slice the tread, but don't expect it to last too long. How long is "too long?"

Probably a couple months. Dollar bills, while being quite strong in non economic terms, apparently do not have the strength of actual rubber. Recently I looked down to see a large rubber bubble emanating from my front tire. I did what any man with a brain and a tire lever would do... I swapped out my old dollar bill for a new one.

The Pie recently struck down my latest time filling winter project, the ironic comb over.

She did not like where this was going. I was told I looked like a Rogaine "before" photo. I was informed that the vanilla ice cream may not come out of the freezer for awhile if I continued with this madness. Sorry, that's a Dirt Rag reference. If you're a reader, then you get it, and if you're not, you should be.

I'm slightly bummed. I felt that the ironic comb over could have replaced the tired and worn out ironic mustache. Instead of being on the trailing end of a fad that has seen its day, I was gonna be an innovator, a pioneer... a guy with a really bad comb over. Just watch as hipsters all around the world (or at least in urban shitholes and countless suburbs) drop the stache in favor of the front desperation mullet.

Anyways, the clippers came out, and I'm now wearing a hat to bed. The comb over is dead, and any chance at I had at pulling of a "Fignon" is gone..

And now the moment you have all been waiting for...

The new Awesome Strap Race is now available for purchase.

Only $10 for this one, unless you want the Whammer Deal (three for $24). That price includes shipping, handling, and warm regards. Unlike any Awesome Strap previously offered this one comes in more color options than I felt like counting.

Colors like cow, candy dot, old man moon, olive drab/pink polka dot, hot rod flames, and Tomi's favorite... rainbow trout.

What is the Awesome Strap Race and how does it work? Watch and learn:



All of yinz that got one for free at SSAZ or Southern Cross, now you know how to put it on (in case you weren't paying attention when I told you the first time).

Victory.

FYI: Yours were prototypes and a bit longer than the production version. You also did not get the rainbow trout color option (fail).

My experiences with the prototype to be shared at a later date.

12 comments:

Andrea said...

I wish I had one of those new ones. Too bad Dick gave them all away.

dicky said...

I told you, send me an email with your address. You're on my list. You will get a longer prototype, and you will most definitely not get rainbow trout.

Todd said...

my new Racey strapper performed as touted even tho I didn't pay attention to the instructions. Thanks!

George said...

Well what color is mine then?

bentcrank said...

I noticed that yesterday, but spent too much time trying to figure out what color to order that I forgot to order. Fail

Maybe I can offer someone a beer at PMBAR and not get a trout colored one.

dougyfresh said...

faggidy fag, george.








more charlie sheen and less comb over!

Anonymous said...

maybe your frame had to be shipped offshore for environmentaly toxic chrome plating?

just trying to help...

Emily said...

zebra. the zebra ones work the best and coordinate with Ti.

Anonymous said...

i shaved off my ironic combover on sunday...ya damn copycat poseur.

ps. i'm already planning my ironicly hip race season, this is the year the DFL becomes cool....you heard it here first...

Stephanie said...

Nice t-shirt!

Anonymous said...

Fignon has a huge scar on his cranium. It must be a Lemondalabotomy.

Rigidnsingle said...

Thanks for the Awesome Strap, I mistakenly left it in Tucson when I went home to Jersey, I missed it so much I had to fly back to get it. Hell, the weather was so good I've decided to stay a while...My Awesome Strap and me are going to La Milagrosa tommorrow, We go everywhere together, Ya know. Thanks again-Monte