I'm rolling out magic bro

It's official. I no longer have to write my blog. I'm just going to go over to livethesheendream.com and do some copy/paste work. His brilliance may not be appreciated by all in our time, but I'm sure he will inspire a religious movement generations later.

I guess that's too short for one of my blog posts. Meh.

A dollar bill makes a fine boot if you happen to tear the sidewall of your tire. It can also be used if you slice the tread, but don't expect it to last too long. How long is "too long?"

Probably a couple months. Dollar bills, while being quite strong in non economic terms, apparently do not have the strength of actual rubber. Recently I looked down to see a large rubber bubble emanating from my front tire. I did what any man with a brain and a tire lever would do... I swapped out my old dollar bill for a new one.

The Pie recently struck down my latest time filling winter project, the ironic comb over.

She did not like where this was going. I was told I looked like a Rogaine "before" photo. I was informed that the vanilla ice cream may not come out of the freezer for awhile if I continued with this madness. Sorry, that's a Dirt Rag reference. If you're a reader, then you get it, and if you're not, you should be.

I'm slightly bummed. I felt that the ironic comb over could have replaced the tired and worn out ironic mustache. Instead of being on the trailing end of a fad that has seen its day, I was gonna be an innovator, a pioneer... a guy with a really bad comb over. Just watch as hipsters all around the world (or at least in urban shitholes and countless suburbs) drop the stache in favor of the front desperation mullet.

Anyways, the clippers came out, and I'm now wearing a hat to bed. The comb over is dead, and any chance at I had at pulling of a "Fignon" is gone..

And now the moment you have all been waiting for...

The new Awesome Strap Race is now available for purchase.

Only $10 for this one, unless you want the Whammer Deal (three for $24). That price includes shipping, handling, and warm regards. Unlike any Awesome Strap previously offered this one comes in more color options than I felt like counting.

Colors like cow, candy dot, old man moon, olive drab/pink polka dot, hot rod flames, and Tomi's favorite... rainbow trout.

What is the Awesome Strap Race and how does it work? Watch and learn:



All of yinz that got one for free at SSAZ or Southern Cross, now you know how to put it on (in case you weren't paying attention when I told you the first time).

Victory.

FYI: Yours were prototypes and a bit longer than the production version. You also did not get the rainbow trout color option (fail).

My experiences with the prototype to be shared at a later date.