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Friday, October 28

I'm not sick, but something is definitely wrong


I found out why my image came up on the cyclingnews.com app yesterday.

I was used as the poster boy for the announcement of the 3rd edition of the Trans-Sylvania Epic coming in 2012.

Serious? Serious eye candy indeed.

Yes, that was me "getting serious" before I lost it and stopped being all serious and stuff. Next year's race will have a few changes (for the better), but I'm not going to talk about that since they went to all the trouble of doing that for me. Will I be there? That's what all the ladies want to know. I'm still not sure. I mean, isn't the world gonna end next year? Did they settle on a date for that yet?

Segway segue..

So, Double Dare tomorrow, starting at noon, ending at midnight, then restarting at 6:00AM (in below freezing temps), and then ending for good at 6:00PM. I've had nightmares reliving the 2008 event for three years now. Following Captain Morgan as he mashed his way up 1206 in the dark, shotgunning beers at Bradley Creek, fiddling with seatpost parts that are strewn all over Pilot Rock, walking next to a useless fixed gear machine on a leaf covered Squirrel Gap looking over my shoulder at what appeared to be the lights for a gay martian landing strip...

all to end up here...

at the finish line of day one...

ten minutes late.

Hypothermic, shelled, confused. How did we manage to end up out there for twelve hours and ten minutes?

Maybe because there was too much of this going on:

All right, maybe not just a "maybe" but a "positively because this was going on."

This year will be more of the same. Ten possible checkpoints each day. Each checkpoint placed so temptingly close together to encourage you to continue your quest and push the limits of time and space. Zac and I will be going for the win, no doubt about it. I haven't come up with a strategy as of yet, but let's all assume that whence I do, it will be grandiose in proportion and scale.

Win at all costs or come home losers.

Since I will be getting back at a disgusting time on Sunday, I will not be posting on Monday... unless I once again overshoot the time cut-off on day one and go home early on Sunday.

That could easily happen.

4 comments:

AdamB said...

There's no way one of your "grandiose proportion plans" could ever auger off the rails and into a trail marker. You guys are golden this year! Just don't forget to pour the Maker's into a Surly flask and then to secure that into your pack!

Chris said...

Didja hear Garth is gonna be there?

dicky said...

I heard Sideshow might show up. Who is his partner (non-sexual)?

Morgan Fletcher said...

You know what, Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people, here in the trailer park.