Friday, May 11

Fönbag Fridäy, One Ping Only

So about that Fönbag that I mentioned a week ago, started being available Monday, then I failed to elaborate on...

until today.

After the folks at Backcountry Research starting producing the Tülbags, I asked what it would take to make something like it for phones... but better.

They began their research... slowly.

I realize that many of you are already thinking "I just put my smart phone in a zip-loc bag and call it a zippity-do-da-day."

You can stop reading if you so choose. I get it, you're frugal. I am as well.

I have a huge collection of zip-loc bags. I keep them all; drop bags, bike parts, general consumer type products... you name it. If it comes in a zip-loc bag, I save the bag. They get thoroughly used until they are total shit, and then I throw them in the trash.

Zip-loc bags are also good for food and whatnot. I'm not gonna argue that.

I wanted something better than a zip-loc bag for my phone. I used to carry my not-so-smart phone in an old prototype Tülbag, but in 2011 when I upgraded my telephonic device to the 2008's, my new phone was too big for the Tülbag, so I just started throwing it in my jersey pocket while tucked neatly away inside its Otterbox.

It would get covered with sweat, and I would find grit in all kinds of spaces where it probably shouldn't be. Seemed like a bad idea to me to have the speakers and charging/docking port exposed to all that vaporous moisture.

I decided to lean a little harder on the BC peeps to make it happen, especially now that it was my problem. I wanted something that would meet the following criteria:

Grippy on one side for no-slippy-outta-pockety performance
Clear on the other so I can easily swap my Pandora station when I get sick of Slayer
Protect my phone when caught out in the rain, keep it grit free, and fit in my jersey pocket
A place to stash my I.D. and cash for beer when I bail on a ride
Big zipper pull and easy in/out opening for taking photos at a moment's notice
Made in the USA

I didn't ask for waterPROOF. I'm not going swimming or kayaking with my phone. Waterproof means submersible, and I have no intentions to toss my phone inside and play Red October in the bathtub.

I do want something that will keep it dry in the rain, and this will do the trick. This bag was tested in many forms and prototypes in Seattle, as in "158 days of rain a year" Seattle. Seems like a great place for real world testing for this kinda thing.

There are other phone sacks out there at this point. I've looked at them. There are certain things that I don't care for that woulda added to the overall price and, to me, were pointless.

Integrated earphone jack/cord for waterproof listening? I won't be listening to my earbuds in a downpour risking my investment in said buds. I learned at the 2007 La Ruta that if you expose your buds to enough rain, they will die.

Space for tools? This is my personal opinion, but for the sake of possibly damaging my phone in a wreck, I keep the screen towards my soft, fleshy back, and I don't want metal tools involved in the collision. They'll be in my Tülbag in another pocket, thank you very much.

Exterior storage for ID, credit cards, money, etc? Why would I want that stuff outside? Dunno.

$20 would buy more beer than $5... something to keep in mind for future emergencies.

The Fönbag has an internal pocket for beer money, ID's, and sex packets.

Humpty (pronounced with an "umpty") likes his oatmeal lumpy, but keeps his crackers and licorice in a Fönbag to keep them dry for later consumption.

Bar mount? Sounds great if you do the Strava thing and need constant information, but I ride a mountain bike, and I occasionally wreck. I do not want my $400 (replacement cost) phone on my bars. I'm fine with it in my pocket for what I do, which is wreck.

I asked for two sizes; one for phones with minimal covers and one for Otterbox clad behemoths. Obviously, these would also be great protection for a camera if you're one of those people who still uses a "camera."

That's the end of my "commercial." I got what I wanted, which is a place to put my phone when I go riding without worrying about it getting FUBAR'ed.

It's simple, durable, and $14 shipped to your house. Buy it, bitch about the superiority of sandwich bags, complain that it's not iPad compatible... do what you like.

It's time for me to go ride with the mayor...


Maybe this will be the year he asks me to be Vice Mayor.


Anonymous said...

That would be Deputy Mayor. Its just like being deputy dog. Only probably better.

larry said...

Sick of Slayer? What?

kevin said...

The only thing I would add is a clear window on the back so the camera can be used without removing the phone from the bag.

dicky said...

Thought about a "photo window", but it would be almost impossible to pull off. The plastic could distort the crap out of an image, mess with the focus, bounce any flash back... the list of pains in the asses was long.

John Miles said...

Props for the Humpty reference.

Anonymous said...

I've been fed up with my sandwich bags this season, so this sounds perfect. Nice work.

Big E said...

I'm as happy as a puppy with two peters! Thanks Magic Dicky for your tireless efforts in digital miniature talking picture box protection. I shall order one forthwith!

pv said...

Where I ride there's no service stays in the truck. And I STILL use a wool sock, toe-strap etc. And my wheels are 26". So there Mr. Rides-w/the Mayorman.

Serial, all this over a bag?

Something tells me all your pot handles point north and you don't allow our shoes to touch in the closet.

WV = ngibuti...LMAO

BIG JIM said...

Sweet! I've been waiting to hear from you when these would be available. I'll be ordering mine tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

use a big azz condom!

buffal0b1ll said...

I have an s3 with the biggest extended battery on the market

11/16" thick in middle but tapered on ends

Think it'll fit?

dicky said...

Probably not.