Monday, June 18

Let me clear my throat

So just who the hell are we, winning that Sun Valley Remedy contest?

"Zac and Dicky just stank so bad..."

Sure I took that outta context, but it's funnier that way.

I don't have to justify myself. Most of you read the blog often enough to know what's up. I'm open about the things I do, and I pretty much live my life right here, wide open, unfiltered... like a good cigarette. I don't hide anything, mostly because I'm just too old to give a shit.

But I guess misconceptions and assumptions will still be made.

Prepare for some air to be cleared...

If "the industry" were New York City, I would be New Jersey. I can enjoy the benefits of being close to New York, but it still stinks on my side of the Hudson and true New Yorkers know I'm from Jersey by my general douchiness. All I can say is "At least I'm not Cleveland."

Most of you know that I have a regular column in Dirt Rag as a contributor. One might assume that I get remunerated for my creative efforts, and one would not be wrong. Keep in mind that it's only about 800 words per issue (so limiting for someone who can ramble on incessantly like myself). Doing the math real quick, after taxes and expenses, I end up with enough money to pay for about half my monthly beer bill. With that information, you can assume one of two things to be true:

1) I'm not amassing a fortune with my writing.

2) I drink too much beer.

I guess you could assume both were true. You would not be not right.

Although a 20% off sale on craft beer on my birthday is helping me save for my retirement. Happy birthday to me.

One might think I'm a "sponsored rider," especially if you look at all the fancy logos on my sidebar. That term could be applied to me in a somewhat liberal sense. There's a reason that I list them under the header "Dick Support." Those fine people help me get what I need to make great bike race, but I probably still end up spending enough money on bike parts and racing in a year to support a healthy coke habit... or would that be unhealthy? Potato, tomato... or patato tamato, I'm not sure of which is the true folksy expression I was looking for. I'm not implying that I'm a wealthy man by any means. I stretch my semi-meager salary as a bike messenger by shopping at Goodwill when I need "new" shorts, I have shitty $16 cable service, my TV is the size of a Fiat, my dancing sandals are four years old and are in need of their bi-yearly mending, the deck on my push mower is 20% Gorilla tape, and the only means I have for recording the Tour de France is a VCR. These sacrifices are the things that are necessary for me to make great bike race.

I guess you could call it a "sacrifice." I call it laziness.

None of this do I mind.


Because bikes are my passion. I choose to live in Charlotte because I have the opportunity to ride my bike for a living. Perhaps I could make more money if I used my degree or applied myself in another profession, but I head out every morning on my shitty track bike five days a week, and for that I am thankful. Alas, I usually only squeeze in one mountain bike ride per week, generally on the weekends, prevailing weather conditions permitting. My weeknights are for my family and dogs (and whatever other foster creatures The Pie drags into the house), except for those rare occasions when they're not around, and then I sneak in a ride after work...

Unless the trails are closed because they are wet. Then I just go home, drink beer, and pre-blog so I can sleep in the next day.

I do live close enough to the Pisgah National Forest to sneak in a day trip once and awhile. Go ahead and hate me for that. I can live with it. It's quite nice. You should go there some time.

I am the luckiest man on earth. I have a wonderful family, a great job, good friends, a copious amount of beer, and air in my lungs on a regular basis. I am blessed.

But I worked hard to get where I am. Make no bones about it. Others poured their hearts and souls into their careers, and they are reaping the financial benefits. Good for them. I chose the route I'm taking and it's working for me... so far.

And as for my good friend Zac...

Most of you don't really know his story. He works hard as a landscaper trying to get his frame building business off the ground in whatever spare time he has. That's where his money and time goes. He's super passionate about bikes for recreation, transportation, occupation, and motivation. A lot of his equipment is clapped out, and he's a little tight on fundage for road trips. That would be why I asked him to team up with me for the Sun Valley Remedy STDD contest. Not to mention, we've had not one, not two, but three strokes of bad luck as teammates in Pisgah Production races, and I owed this to him. He's been a terrific friend, and I know he deserves the trip to Idaho as much as anyone. He has a heart of gold, and anybody who knows him would say the same. Besides that, he introduced me to his mom as "his mentor."


Zac will ride the crap out of this bike:

He's been wanting to own a bike like this for some time, but obviously funding such a purchase is not in line with his current financial status. He rides his SS Chameleon with some guys that are equipped with longer travel machines, and this bike will even those odds up quite nicely. I can assure you that Zac is a great bike handler... well, better than I am.

This blog was not created as a marketing tool, ego trip, or soapbox. It's a cathartic way to release the pressure in my brain and hopefully it makes people spit coffee onto their keyboards once and awhile. I'm super passionate about mountain biking, and as shallow as it may make me sound, I live my days for those fleeting moments in the saddle. I've been this way for well over twenty years now. I'm a junky always waiting for that next toot, snort, puff, drag, or whatever you wanna call it. When I'm on my bike, all the mental weird shit in my head quiets down, and I feel like I'm as close to sane as I'll ever get. When I die, they will find me splayed out on the trail, surrounded by gel packs, face down in a puddle of drool... smiling.

Trail overdose.

Some people might say I "live the dream," while others have called me a "washed up racer boy" who needs to get a "real job." I am all that and none at the same time...

and a douche.

Let's not forget that one.


cheryl Sornson said...

cheers douche!

Anonymous said...

The blog makes it so you're bearable to be around in person, too. Beforehand you would ramble on even longer and faster about all the same shit that you're now able to get out of your system on a daily basis. Thank you lord for

Anonymous said...

Wow that's a lot of typing for a Monday. These contests are going to take their toll!

Anonymous said...

Advocat Sez:

Yeaaaa!!! Horray!!!! More better blog fodder coming up.

And yea, anyone that can cover the big drain pipe at Back Yard can handle a bike. Good on ya boys!

Stevil said...

I voted for 'two girls, one cup'.

AdamB said...

No one can ever go wrong when honestly following their passion. And hey, passionate D-bags fall into that category, +1.
Happy B-day and many, many more miles of sweet, overdosing singletrack to you.

finn maguire said...

Not sure why you're defending yourself, or against what, but that post reminded me of Tool explaining "selling out" in the song "Hooker with a Penis": (
In fact, you remind me of Maynard James Keenan - not the Tool MJK, or the A Perfect Cirle MJK - but the Puscifer one:

Peter J Keiller Esq. said...

engaging hecklers?!?

they're so're not an industry pro, you're a fucking politician.

man up.

"fuck y'all losers who lost. i won because i'm better than your momma"

dicky said...

Well, less a defense of self and more of a "I've been writing this shit for six and a half years and I feel like we don't really know each other" type post.

Maybe everybody could just leave me a comment telling me a little about themselves...

Peter... I need to know nothing more about you.

Krautstache said...

We discussed your Idaho trip this weekend and agreed, "The Sun Valley guide assigned to Zac and Dicky has no idea what he is about to step in".

I completely agree on the Maynard James Keenan thing, BTW.

Anonymous said...

you are also a pussy. nice blog and keep living the dream!

CB2 said...

I'm a Sagittarius, like unicorns, rainbows and interesting trades.

GrumpyOne said...

Rest assured that coffee on keyboard happens often (in my prairie dog hole of an office) due to this blog.

Thanks for living the dream and sharing.

Big E said...

I've never spit coffee on my keyboard from one of your posts. But I did accidentally snort a piece of pistachio once. Does that count?

You are a funny man Mr. Dicky...

I am a sometimes MTB racer, sometimes road racer, sometimes unprofessional blog author stalker. Always a fan.

If your ever in Orygun state let me know. I'll show off the trails and beer that we have to offer. Both are good...

Anonymous said...

We can't wait to meet you. You are funny as shit. Creative. And you love to ride bikes. I am going to pour beer down your throats. Get ready for one hell of a week boys!

Chimp said...

Nice win, be sure to let Chopper know your bike sizes ASAP. See you in Sun Valley.

pv said...

No need to justify your frugal exsistance to much for f'king socks again? Right.

Please recycle and ride your bike again....for all our sakes.

WV: pRoZak.

Anonymous said...

Your blog is awesome, it's honestly the only webpage I check every single day. Your down to earth, honest, funny as hell, don't give a $hit about what others think, and your a good family man that is as fast as hell on a bike.

Oh and while I'm heaping compliments on you, your a pussy.

Anonymous said...

no one needs to explain how dicky and zac got here, no one. except me. and i don't even know why, oh yeah they are going to go absolutely ape shit. its a hell of a trophy to hold up fellas. there is a guy named colin who is going to try and urinate in it
so keep it framed in your buttocks til you are back in the south and some large man in coverals on the french broad river asks for it back,

Bad Ass said...

Great post Dicky .. People are people and will come to their own conclusions.. Even if they are dimensional
I feel as passionate about biking as you and fully understand how it clears your mind. You are doing things right.. For you so enjoy every minute of it

gRant said...

Damn warm and Fuzzy for a humid morning in the south, but well heard. The trained Gerbil will be bringing things to your door in the next couple weeks. Share with your compadre.